Be A Light To Yourself
by Ophelia193
Summary: Raised by human parents, Rogue runs away to New York when her powers manifest. There she joins a group of mercenaries while trying to control her powers and find a place where she belongs. Romy, but Rogue-centered.
1. Chapter 1

**Be a Light to Yourself**

**Summary:** Rogue was raised by her human parents and runs away when her power manifests. She sets out on a long and painful journey to find a place where she truly belongs.

**Disclaimer:** Marvel owns all characters, including Rogue, Gambit, Mystique, Magneto, and the X-Men. I have no rights to them, and if I did I would have not had Rogue be so helpless in the X-Men movies. :)

**Author's Note:** Set in an alternative timeline where Rogue was raised by boring old human parents and alliances were somewhat different. ROMY at one point, but also with other ships. The main characters have similar personalities to their comic book counterparts, but some of the minor characters are a little . . . off. Sorry if that bugs anyone. For the record, this is my first ever fanfic. Comments, including constructive criticism, are welcomed. If no one seems interested in this fanfic after a few chapters I'll stop writing, because I don't want to waste my time, but otherwise I promise not to abruptly stop writing, as that always bugs me with other fan fics.

* * *

**Chapter 1: A Prayer**

_'What now?'_ thought Anna Marie as she looked down at her gloved hands.

She had no home, no place to go, no family or friends to take her in. At thirteen she was alone in the world with nothing but what she held in her hands: a duffle bag filled with old clothing, $15.65 that she had gotten from panhandling, and heavy heart.

She sat intently staring and her gloves, focusing on how her life had gone awry. Mere months ago she was a normal, happy girl. Her parents were kind to her, if a bit preoccupied with their own lives. She did well in school, she had some good friends, including . . . Cody . . .

Stifling a sob, she thought of Cody and the day that changed both of their lives forever. It was supposed to have been magical, a first kiss between two friends whose feelings for each other had subtlety grown into something new over the last year. She remembered how her heart pounded as he leaned in to kiss her, how she closed her eyes when their lips finally met. It was wonderful, for a moment. And then all hell broke loose. A rush of feelings and memories flooded into her as Cody gave out a pained yelp. Anna's eyes flew open to see Cody 's body falling backwards, while his mind had invaded her own.

It took her what felt like forever before she could even think strait. She had somehow run home and frantically told her parents about Cody before she had locked herself in her room. Thoughts, feelings, and memories that did not belong to her swam through her head. Her parents had pounded on the door, begging her to open up, but she was too confused and terrified to move out of the fetal position on the floor. Eventually, they had to break down the door. When she saw them there, standing over her she raised her arms to them, a silent, desperate plea for help. They looked down at her, terrified, unwilling or unable to comfort their daughter. Over the next four days they had brought food to her room and placed it on the floor several feet away from her, but they refused to touch or speak to her. A look of abject horror was in their eyes.

Four days after the incident, Cody's mind quieted and Anna could think again. She left her room and quietly walked to the living room, from whence she heard her parents' voices. When she came into view, her parents' conversation ceased and they looked at her in terror.

"What's wrong with me?" Anna asked.

They did not respond. They both looked at her as if she were the devil. Her chin quivered and tears ran down her face, but they still could not bring themselves to speak to her or approach her. And so she ran.

She had packed away her favorite clothes, all the money she had saved, and the cash from her mother's wallet into her father's old duffle bag and ran from the house. From her small hometown in Mississippi, she wandered from big city to big city, begging on the sidewalks of upper-middle class shopping districts. She got a lot of pity, and thus a fair amount of money, but she was sure to move on every couple of days before the police were sent round to pick her up.

She started to use a false identity, Rogue. It had been her nickname back home, since she was the adventurous, stubborn type. In her new life on the run it seemed more appropriate than ever. It certainly was better than her other old nickname, Skunk, so-called because of the white stripe in her otherwise dark auburn hair. Despite her new persona, in her head she was still Anna Marie. The occasional surfacing of Cody's consciousness called her that too, and told her none of this was her fault. She was thankful that if she had to have another mind in her own, it was the person who was the kindest, most gentle person she ever knew.

She had decided to go North after a particularly close call in Montgomery. A concerned citizen had called the cops to report the young girl who had slept on the sidewalk for two consecutive nights. They had taken her by surprise and she had been unable to outrun them. They took her down to the station and called social services. Two policemen, an over-the-hill black man with graying temples and a heavy-set, middle-aged redneck walked her into a small room. They gave her a slice of microwavable lasagna and a cola all the while incessantly asking her questions in a condescending tone: "What's your name sweetie?" "Do you know your parents' number?" "Why where you out there all alone?" She refused to give anything more than monosyllabic responses: "Rogue." "No." "'cause."

After an hour of the world's least fruitful interrogation, the two cops who were questioning her were understandably frustrated. For several minutes they just quietly stared at her, hoping she's crack. She stared right back at them with defiance in her eyes. Eventually a tall blond woman, who Rogue assumed to be another cops or someone working with social services walked into the small room. "There is no file of anyone matching her description that has been reported missing in the last six months." Anna sat in shock. '_They never even told anyone I had run away?'_ she thought, fighting back the tears. '_How could they? I'm their only child, their only daughter. Just because I'm different, they turn their back on me completely?'_ She refused to let the anger and disappointment she was feeling show on her face, and she had to bite her lip as to not sob out loud.

One of the cops had left with the blond woman, leaving only the Good Ol' Boy to watch over her. She had to look down as to preserve any dignity she had left, but the man clearly knew she was distraught. "Let me git you som' tissues, gurl." He said was a thick Alabama drawl. He waddled out, and Anna stood up as soon as he vacated the room. She peaked out the down and through her tears she realized there was only the red-neck cop, busily looking for tissues, between her and the door. Grabbing her bag, she crouched down as she legged it for the door.

"Where do ya think you're goin?" She heard the cop saying, swiping at her arm to restrain her. Unfortunately for him, he missed her arm and his clammy hand grabbed onto her uncovered wrist. Their eyes met momentarily and she registered the shock and pain in his eyes before she was able to tear her arm away. The man's thoughts swam through her head as she tore out of the police station. She didn't stop running for several minutes, till she found an alleyway with a large dumpster for her to hide behind. After a couple of hours of quiet sobbing the cop's personality and angry accusations retreated from her consciousness, pushed to join Cody in the back of her mind.

After that incident she realized she had to get out of the South and away from anyone who would even think of trying to help her. She figured New York was the place to go. She hopped buses, mostly ones only going a town or two away so that she looked like a local, not a runaway child. Getting off the bus at Penn station, she was glad that she was finally in a place cold enough to justify wearing gloves and long sleeves during the fall. She felt so much safer being completely covered up, although she knew it was everyone else who was being protected.

Anna wandered around the city for a few days, utterly amazed at how big and crowded it was. '_Good_,' she thought, '_a perfect place to be anonymous_.' But people didn't leave her alone like she thought they would. It might not have been the South with its famous hospitality, but people still seemed concerned by the homeless preteen. She spent most of her time in the parks, where she stood out less, although she was terrified about the idea of sleeping in the park at night. No one had tried anything **yet**, and she knew that she could drop someone with a touch of her hand, but she still wasn't able to get more than an hour of sleep at a time without waking up in a panic.

Cody's voice remerged when she was scared, telling her that he was always with her. It soothed her a little, but the good it did was undone by the cop's consciousness telling her how dangerous the situation was, dropping hints about the horrible things he'd seen in his 17-year career on the Montgomery police force. The cop's voice in her head wasn't angry, as it had been at first, but he was frustrated and resentful. He grudgingly gave her advice that protected her out of his sense of duty, and she was thankful for that. When she was fully awake she could push both voices to the back of her head, but when she was exhausted or upset they would come back.

Looking down at her gloved hands, thinking about how alone she was, the voices were threatening to come back. She needed to know something in her life was not a mess, that something about her could be redeemed. Anna grabbed her duffle bag and walked through the yellow, orange, and brown leaves on the park path and headed to the convenience store across the street. The store had a pay phone outside. '_The last working pay phone in the industrial world_,' she assumed. Punching in Cody's home number and putting in the numerous coins, she waited with bated breath as the phone rang. '_Hope this is worth it, I've spent my breakfast money on this.'_

"Hello?" Anna recognized Cody's mother's voice.

"Hello Mrs. Robbins." Anna dropped her voice to slightly lower register, figuring that Cody's mom would hang up if she knew who she was talking to. She managed to do a passable impression of an old classmate and friend of both Cody and Anna's that had moved away a couple of months before the accident. "This is Charlotte. I just wanted to see how Cody was."

"Oh, Charlotte. Yes, I remember you. I'm guessing what you heard what that **rogue** did to Cody?"

Anna's stomach tightened with guilt. "Yes, I heard. How is he?" She barely squeaked out, the tears swelling in her eyes.

"He's still in a coma. The doctor says there is a good chance he'll recover, but . . ." Anna could hear Cody's mother chocking back her own tears while Anna was now allowing her own to fall from her face.

"I'm sorry," cried Anna, "I'm so sorry." She couldn't take any more and hung up. She didn't let go of the receiver, she held onto it for dear life. Holding onto the phone booth she started to sob. '_I'm so sorry, Cody. Oh God, I'm so, so sorry.'_

_'I know you are_,' replied Cody.

* * *

I know that was mostly back story, but some drama will come along in the next chapter, along with everyone's favorite swamp rat.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Life is Suffering**

**Summary**: Rogue was raised by her human parents and runs away when her power manifests. She sets out on a long, difficult journey to find a place where she truly belongs.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything and I don't have a penny to my name. So don't sue.

**Author's Note:** This chapter is rated a strong "T" for language and some disturbing material. Please keep the reviews coming, it really helps me get motivated to write more.

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Rogue spent over a week sleeping in the various parks in Uptown Manhattan. She especially liked St. Nicholas Park, not only because it was named after Santa, but because of the beautiful old house on the park's northern border. It had belonged to Alexander Hamilton, who Anna vaguely remembered to have been one of the founding fathers or something. Whatever the historical significance of it, she liked the look of the place. It was painted a warm cream color, there were three stories, plenty of columns and a deck wrapping around the second story. It reminded her of the grand old plantations back home, just in miniature. It was a little slice of the South in Manhattan.

But all around her were reminders that she was not in the South and that she was not a normal girl anymore. The park, like those back home, were filled with happy families, young couples strolling hand in hand, and the elderly observing the world with nostalgia in their eyes. Anna had once been a part of one of those happy families, gazed upon the happy couples with anticipation of her first relationship, and received bittersweet smiles from the old women slumped over on the bench. Now, she felt like an observer. She was removed from it all, no longer a part of the human world. She watched it all, attempting to be detached.

On a sunny autumn afternoon Anna splurged on a Big Mac and sat by the basketball courts in St. Nicolas Park. A half dozen teen boys were playing a pick-up game. Sweaty, athletic teenage boys. Shirts versus skins. _Yummy_. Anna laughed at herself. _Ah might be a thirteen-year-old runaway with toxic skin, but Ah'm still a girl with raging hormones_. One of the boys, who looked a year or two older than Anna, turned around and looked at her. He had angelic features and mahogany skin. He gave her a quick wink and went back to playing. **_Really _**_raging hormones._

Anna leaned against the chain-link fence surrounding the court and stared at the mahogany god. She was transfixed by the boy, filled with girlish desire and deep sorrow. _Ah could never touch him. Never._ Anna inhaled quickly, attempting to head off any tears or emotional outbursts. _Stop it, you're Rogue, ya don't need anyone. Anyone to help you, anyone to touch._ The boy scored a three pointer and his face lit up. He glanced at her again, making her feel a few butterflies in her stomach. _Still, it can't hurt ta watch,_ she thought as the game got more heated.

She was distracted by the boy and didn't notice that the ball was heading toward her. *crash* Anna jumped back, realizing that if it had not been for the fence, the ball would have hit her in the face. _Do ya really think ya can survive out here when yur reflexes are that bad?_ Asked the Officer Kerrigan, the cop she'd touched in Montgomery. She angrily pushed him to the back of her head as another boy ran over to pick up the ball.

Anna's jaw almost dropped. She had thought her little mahogany god was cute, but this guy was the most incredible looking guy she'd ever seen. He looked to be about seventeen, he was tall, athletic, and well built. He had a mop of beautiful brown hair, chiseled features and his luscious lips were pulled into a smirk. He wore sunglasses, but she had the feeling that behind those shades were the most amazing eyes she would ever see. He grabbed the ball and looked over at her with a smile.

"Sorry 'bout dat, petit."

_Holy hell, and he's Southern!_ Anna's eyes felt like they were about to burst out of her head. _Say something, girl, don't gawk like an idiot!_

"Mah fault. Should'a been paying closer attention to y'all."

"One of us, at least." He said with a smirk.

Anna was sure that she turned bright red. All she could do was smile back.

"Hey, throw the ball already!" Yelled one of the other boys, breaking her out of her revelry.

The Southern boy threw the ball back towards the court and started walking back to the game.

"Hey!" Anna yelled at the boy, surprising even herself. "Are ya Cajun?"

He turned and looked at her as he walked. "Oui, petit. N'Awleans born and bred."

"Ah thought so."

Anna sat back and watched the boys play. She smiled to herself, _that was probably the longest conversation Ah've had since Ah ran away. And the best._

* * *

Anna never really got the hang of sleeping in the park. She was terrified that in the middle of the night someone would attack her sleeping form. She might be able to defend herself if they only came at her with her bare hands, but she could still be stabbed or shot, and there was the ever present possibility that her meager possessions would be stolen. So she took short naps during the day and early evening, trying to stay awake during the hours she figured would be most dangerous.

It was twilight and the autumn air was cold as she slumbered on a bench with her arms wrapped tight around her duffle bag. She dreamed of the cute Cajun, who she'd seen twice since their first introduction on the basketball court. The first time he was clearly walking home from another basketball game just as the sun had set and night was falling. He was glistening with sweat, making his physique even more alluring, and was wearing his sunglasses. _Who wears sunglasses when the sun has already gone down?_ She asked herself. _Maybe he's trying ta keep track of the visions in his eyes._ She giggled to herself. The other time he was walking with a friend, a big, muscular man with black hair. This time, he'd noticed her, and smirked as he sauntered up.

"Hello, petit."

"H-hi." She nervously stammered.

She could have sworn she saw him wink at her from behind his sunglasses, but he kept on walking with his friend.

In her dream the Cajun's eyes were brown and she had no fear of touching him. He stepped off the basketball court, as ruggedly handsome as ever and reached out to her. He took her in his arms, gazed into her eyes, and leaned down to kiss her. Before their lips touched she was awakened by a strange sensation. Attempting to rouse herself with a yawn, she realized that her mouth was being covered by a hand forcefully clapped onto her face. Her eyes shot open in horror to find a grubby looking, middle-aged man with black shaggy hair and a sadistic look in his dark eyes on top of her. She tried to scream, but no sound came out. She cursed the fact that the one time she needed her powers that they were rendered useless by the man's gloves.

"Now don't try anything." Said the man, with a gravelly voice.

Tears were falling down her cheek and despite her ability to perfectly comprehend what was happening, she was too panicked to do anything to free herself. The man ground his body into hers as he gave off a grown. _Why isn't someone helping me?_ She screamed in her head as the man forced a piece of cloth in her mouth, effectively gagging her. In her mind she could feel Cody panic as well, making her even more terrified. The cop from Montgomery was more helpful. _Try an' knee 'em in the groin or stick yur thumbs in his eyes! Now, gal! Don't let 'em hurt ya! _ But the man's weight was fully on her legs and he managed to grab her hands as she attempted to hit him.

The man took both of her wrists in one of his hands and leered at her with a look that make her sick in her own mouth. She could feel his acrid breath on her face, making her skin crawl. Her entire body tensed and she began to sob in earnest as she heard the sound of pants being unzipped. He gave her a demented smile and whispered, "Aren't you a pretty little thing. Be a good little girl, 'cause if you don't stop fighting me, I'll have to hurt you."

"FUCK YOU!" she attempted to scream, but it only came out as a muffled grunt. Her panic had subsided, and in its wake was pure, unfettered rage. She glared at him with unflinching, hate-filled eyes as she felt him feel inside her pants. She willed her body to go numb, not wanting to experience what she knew was coming. His face inched closer to hers, and once it was an inch away she strained her neck upwards, touching his cheek with hers.

She immediately felt the pull from the man, but he jolted up in surprise before he was rendered unconscious. In his shock, he had let go of her wrists. _Bad move, asshole_, she thought as she quickly tore off one of her gloves and thrust her bare hand to his throat. He was still too shocked from the initial contact to fight back, and within seconds his eyes rolled back and he slipped out of consciousness and fell onto the ground. Still she hung on, digging her nails into his throat, even as his mind poured into her. Finally, she let go, but his mind was so loud in hers that she couldn't move. His perverted lust and disgusting fantasies bounced around her head. She could only stare at him in anger and revulsion. Then she started to kick his comatose form as tears ran down her cheeks.

In the corner of her mind, she realized that there were sounds of movement around her. She ceased kicking him, but looked with satisfaction as she saw blood seeping from his head. _Run, girl!_ yelled Cody. She bolted at her friend's command, running as fast as she could away from the people who had come to investigate the commotion. _It was self-defense, girl. Don't go runnin' away from a crime scene._ Advised the Officer Kerrigan, but she ignored him. _It don't matter that I ain't done nothin' wrong, they'd hate me for what Ah am. _

Anna fought against the new voice in her head and stumbled to a cluster of bushes that she knew to have a little 'cave' where she could see but not be seen. She crawled in and pulled her knees to her head. _Oh god, what just happened?_ She cried silently to herself as the attacker's voice raged in her head. _A 261A is whut jus' happened_, replied the cop's voice. Images of the attacker's life and his intentions flashed in her mind, making her physically ill. She fought back her nausea as she fought back the mind of the would-be rapist, Roger.

For the first time, Anna was happy that she had absorbed Cody and Officer Kerrigan. Despite their irritation about being absorbed, they both wanted to help her, unlike the new voice in her head. Roger yelled and screamed unspeakable things in her head. The voices of Cody and the cop did their best to quiet him down, threatening the pervert and drowning his sadistic voice with their concerned statements.

_You filthy mutie bitch, I outta- _

_Leave her alone!_ Cried Cody.

_If ya'll were in ma precinct Ah'd beat the shit out, ya disgusting pedophile!_ Threatened Officer Kerrigan.

After many hours of pushing Roger's voice to the recesses of her mind, he finally was quiet enough for her to think. _Thank ya both,_ she thought to Cody and the cop. _Don't be bothered be him none_, replied Cody, _ya just leave him with us_. Anna was comforted by her friend's soothing words, but the momentary sense of calm soon disappeared once she realized that she had to get out of the area, and no idea how to get out of the park unseen. She was sure that news of her confrontation with Roger would have gotten around by now. The other homeless people in the area, who had been benign to her so far, might try and turn her in to the cops, attack her, or run her out of town. From the bits of Roger's mind that weren't concerned with putrid acts of sex and violence, she gathered that he had been on the streets a while and had a few friends who were as crazy as he was.

_Back to Penn Station_, she thought. She stretched a little and prepared to leave her little cave in the bushes until _– Oh no! Where's my bag?_ She realized that she must have run away from the attack without it. _Shit, shit, shit! All my clothes, my other pair of shoes, everything._ Tears started welling in her eyes, but she fought them back. _No, Ah got bigger problems. At least Ah still have my money_. She was glad that she at least had the good sense to put the few dollar bills that she had in her shoe. _Get it together Rogue, just walk outta the park quickly and calmly and make it to the subway station and yur home free._ She cautiously peaked out of the bushes, and when she knew no one was looking, she crawled out.

Anna didn't know how long she had been in the bushes, but it was obviously a long time since the sun was now out and a few people were milling around the park. She glanced around her, trying not to look suspicious. _Maybe __**that's**__ why the Cajun wears those sunglasses all the time, to hide his shifty eyes._ She smiled for the first time since the attack at the thought of the Cajun. She figured that he had only come to her mind because she was walking towards the basketball courts on her way out of the park. She ignored the few boys who were playing basketball, _they ain't the ones Ah need ta be worried 'bout_, and kept her eyes out for any homeless people or cops.

She was past the basketball courts and almost to the street when she heard someone running up to her. Adrenaline surged through her body and she took off her right glove, ready to fend herself from yet another attack.

"Petit!" Anna spun around and saw the Cajun jogging up to her.

_Oh god, what does he want?_ She was still panicked, but she blushed at the cute boy none the less.

"H—hi." She stammered. _Damn girl, can't ya say 'Hi' to him once without sounding like a moron?_

He stopped a foot in front of her, way too close for her comfort, but she knew that backing away would look suspicious. She gazed at him, and his gorgeous features took her breath away. His face, normally smugly handsome, portrayed something different today. His furrowed brow and slight smile showed concern, a look that Anna had grown unaccustomed to in her months on the street.

He leaned in to talk to her, barely more than a whisper. "Petit, ah heard dat someone attacked ya. Are ya OK?" He tried to put a comforting hand on her arm, but she flinched and he took it as a sign to back off.

"Where did ya hear that, sugah?" Anna asked in the calmest tone she could muster.

"Ah know some of dis park's residents, chere, and I heard from one a dem dat some shit-head attacked ya, but practically dropped dead."

_Dead? Oh shit, oh shit_. "Ah never hurt no body." She replied, unable to keep the panic out of her voice.

The Cajun looked at her, still concerned, and gently said "Well, someone tried to hurt you. He's still alive, petit, an their ain't nobody who could blame ya, even if ya did kill 'em."

"Yes," Anna said, on the verge of tears, "they would blame me. They would hate me for what Ah did . . . and for what Ah am."

The Cajun smiled at her, although Anna couldn't figure out why. "Don't worry, petit, dey only hate us 'cause de don't understand us."

"Us?" Anna whispered, slowing realizing what he meant as he pulled off his ever-present sunglasses. She had assumed his eyes to be a beautiful brown, but in fact they were mostly black with a dazzling red iris. She gasped a little as she looked in his eyes, finding them more beautiful than any brown eyes could ever be.

He smiled at her, and asked "Ya wanna meet some o' ma friends, petit?"

* * *

Sorry it took me a while to write this chapter, I seriously found it gut-churning writing about a child being attacked like that, so it was slow going. From now out, I'll try and have a chapter a week. Any guesses who Gambit's 'friends' are? A big thanks to the couple of people who gave me reviews, I really appreciate it!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: State of Mind**

**Summary**: Rogue was raised by her human parents and runs away when her power manifests. She sets out on a long, difficult journey to find a place where she truly belongs.

**Disclaimer:** Stan Lee is a genius, I am not. Translation: I don't own any of these characters.

**Author's Note:** In hindsight, I should have had the information in the previous two chapters as flashbacks and gotten to the main plotline sooner. Oh well. I know that some of the information early in this chapter is repetitive for X-Men fans, but I put it in here for a reason, as these characters are getting to know each other in a completely different circumstance than what is cannon. It's important, trust me.

* * *

Anna nervously walked down Fredrick Douglass Boulevard with the Cajun. She looked over at him to see him cautiously looking around.

"What are ya'll doing?" She asked politely.

"Same t'ing as you, petit. Making sure no one followin' us."

Anna smiled, glad that he was just as vigilant as she was. "Ah never got your name."

"Non. Didn' get yours either."

"Rogue."

"Pleasure ta meet you Rogue." He gave a low bow to her, making her giggle. "Remy LeBeau, at your service. Some people call me Gambit."

"So, where are we going, Remy?"

"Told ya. Taking ya ta see Gambit's friends."

"Oh." Anna was nervous about these mysterious friends of his, but she realized that this was her best shot at having a warm place to sleep that night. The whole situation seemed a little weird and she wasn't about to walk into a trap just because the bait was an extremely cute guy. "Uh, Remy . . .?"

"Oui, petit?"

"How did ya know . . . about me?"

"Ya mean how did I know ya were a mutant?"

Anna winced at the word. She knew she was a mutant, she knew it from day one, but she never referred to herself as one. Mutants are supposed to have cool powers, like the ability to fly or read minds. Her powers were more like a curse. '_No, they are a curse.'_ She thought bitterly. "Um, yea."

"First off, ya do have dat cute lil' white stripe in your hair."

Anna blushed at the compliment, then got confused. "Yea, so, ah've always had it."

"Most of us mutants got som' sorta tell. Som'ting dat make us look differ'en. An' den ya go an' drop dat pervert in de park. A ninety pound girl whuppin' a grown man's ass when he had de advantage? Naw ya know somet'ing goin' on dere."

"So if Ah didn't have ma powers what woulda happened?" She asked, instantly regretting it. She knew what would have happened, and wished she didn't.

"Don' like ta think 'bout it, petit." Replied Remy somberly. They walked in silence for another block. Remy finally broke the tension, asking "Why were ya livin' in de park, so far from home?"

'_Where else would Ah be? With mah lovin' family who accept me even though Ah'm toxic?_' She thought derisively. "Ya don't know what ma powers are, do ya?"

"Non. What are dey?"

She gulped. '_Ah hell, what if Ah'm such a freak that the freaks don't want anything to do with me.' _She figured she'd just have to risk it, she was tired of lying, of running from who she was. "My skin, if Ah touch somebody Ah absorb their thought and memories and they pass out. Or go into a coma. Ah . . . Ah can't control it."

"Wow, dat . . ." He trailed off. '_Here comes the inevitable disgust and rejection_,' she thought. ". . . sucks." Anna was relieved that he wasn't horrified, but she wasn't thrilled about the pity in his voice. "But useful," he added, looking lost in his own thoughts.

Anna's eyebrows shot up. "Useful? Ah can't touch anyone, **ever**, without knocking them else or worse. How is that useful?"

Remy looked panicked for a second, but calm and charm returned to his face as he replied, "But petit, how would you escaped dat asshole if not for dem powers?"

"But that's why Ah was in the park to begin with! If Ah wasn't cursed like this Ah wouldn' be here, Ah'd be back in Mississippi." She was angry, but not at Remy, or even her situation, but for wanting to be with her friends and family that had so quickly thrown her away. "Ah just wish that if Ah had to be a mutant, Ah had better abilities."

Remy gave her a sad, sympathetic smile. She hated the fact that he pitied her.

"So what about you, Remy, what are your powers?" She tried her best to sound upbeat. "Or is it just your lovely eyes?" She smirked.

He chuckled, "Non, petit, it ain't jus' de demon eyes." He pulled something out of his pocket; it looked like a playing card. He waited till they got to an alley and he surveyed the area to make sure no one was around. As he held the card in his hand, it began to glow a reddish-pink color. He threw it into to alleyway where it exploded with a small *bang.* Anna jumped back and then stared at him.

"What was that?"

"One of ma friends said dat I'm able ta use de kinetic energy from objects ta make dem explode." Anna looked at him with complete confusion. He responded to the look saying, "I touch t'ings, de go boom." Anna giggled.

"So can ya control it?" She wondered if he was in as bad a position as she was.

Remy looked down and said "Oui, petit. I got lucky on dat' one."

They kept walking, contemplating their situation and each other. Finally, Anna quietly said, "Ah don't think ya have demon eyes, Ah think they're beautiful." He smiled contentedly at that, but didn't say anything or look at her.

* * *

Remy turned onto West 122nd Street and climbed the stairs to a narrow, four-story brick row house. The thought of being inside, away from the elements and safe was overwhelming to Anna. Remy unlocked about five locks with astonishing swiftness and held open the door for Anna. She walked in and realized she was in a tiny foyer with only one other door, which was solid metal and appeared to have a high-tech computerized lock on it. Remy shut the front door behind him and Anna momentarily tensed, recognizing immediately that the security lock was harbinger of things to come. Remy smiled at her as he walked by, then punched in an access code and put his index finger on some sort of scanner. A light flashed green, he opened the metal door, and ushered her in.

Anna hesitantly walked in, surveying the place. The room was a large living/dining space with hardwood floors, exposed brick walls, and simple, modern furniture. It appeared to be decently well lived in, with books and magazines laying on the wooden dining room table and controllers to a video game system still resting on the large brown leather sofa. There were two flights of stairs on her right, one case leading up, one leading down. She could swear she heard someone in the room father on, which she guessed would be the kitchen.

"Anyone home?" Shouted Remy, making Anna immediately tense up again.

"I'm busy cooking." Came an annoyed woman's voice from the back room.

Remy turned to Anna and quietly suggested "Why don't ya sit down petit, I'll go get ya somet'ing ta eat and drink."

"Uh, OK." Anna responded uncertainly and sat down at the dining room table. She looked around nervously for a minute, waiting for Remy to get back and attempting to hear any conversation that might be going on between him and the mystery woman. '_Probably his girlfriend or something_,' she sulked.

"You brought her **here**!?" She other woman suddenly shrieked. '_Best be ready to get on outta here_.' She heard loud, hurried footsteps heading her way as the woman came into view, with Remy close behind. Anna was taken aback by her appearance. She had pure white skin with a large black splotch over one eye. Other than her skin coloring, she looked like a pretty normal woman in her mid-twenties, with black hair and slim figure. The woman stopped at the head of the table and stared daggers at her. "Who are you?" she asked with just a hint of anger.

"Ma name is Rogue."

"Do you have a home?"

"No, Ah left home once Ah found out Ah was a mutant." The woman's gaze seemed to soften slightly.

"Gambit says that you knocked a man out with your skin. Is that true?"

"Yes."

"Did you mean to do it?"

"This time Ah did."

"This time?"

"Ah can't control it, so Ah'm careful about gettin' close ta people. But he attacked me."

Remy circled the table and set a can of cola and a sandwich in front of Anna. The other woman was still staring at her, but her expression had turned into one of contemplation. "Go ahead and eat, we'll all talk about this later." She said, then returned to the kitchen.

Anna had no idea what was going on, but she wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth, so she started eating. Remy went back to the kitchen and returned quickly with a soda of his own. He sat down next to her and sipped it, staring in amazement at the veraciousness in which Rogue was eating her meal. "Don't worry, petit, dere's more food if ya want it." She guzzled her soda down and quietly thanked him.

Anna finally got up the nerve to ask "So who is she?"

"Oh dat's just a friend a mine."

"Why didn't she want me here?"

"You should know as well as anybody dat us mutants ain't always happy 'bout being discovered."

"Even by other mutants?"

"Dere are all kind of mutants out dere. Not all agree wit' one another."

"What are ya doing that other mutants might not agree with, sugar?"

Remy gave a quick chuckle. "Dat's de big question, ain't it? An' I can't really explain it right now. Jus' answer dere questions honestly an' everyt'ing will be fine. Remy ain't goina let anyt'ing happen to ya."

Remy got up and got her even more food, then ushered her into the front living room area and had her sit facing the large bay window. Behind her people were milling about, and she had the distinct impression that a tribunal was being formed to pass judgment on her. But on what matter and on what criteria, she didn't know. She tried to focus on watching the inane chat show Remy had put on, but she couldn't hide her fear. She could only hope that Remy had been honest about protecting her. '_Why should ya believe him? Ya don't know any of these here people.'_ Officer Kerrigan's voice nagged her, but she pushed it aside.

"Rogue." Remy's voice called out from behind her. She whipped her head around and saw him at the dining room table, gesturing for her to join him. Or rather, them. Anna looked at Remy's 'friends,' none of which looked too friendly to her. They all were in their late teens to mid-twenties. Remy looked to be the youngest of them, and she felt like a child in comparison, despite the tough life she'd been living. Along with the white woman she'd already met, there was a broad-shouldered African-American woman in her early twenties with cornrows and a scowl on her face, a stern looking man with olive skin and brown hair who was in his mid-twenties, a small, bald albino man with yellow eyes who appeared to be in his late teens, and the tall, muscular teen with black hair that Anna had seen Remy walking with before.

She sat herself down at the head of the table, facing others, and tried to give off an aura of confidence. She immediately knew that she failed miserably at it.

"So you don't have any place to go?" Asked the woman she talked to before.

"No."

"Or anyone who cares about you?"

'_Ouch, that hurt._' She took a deep breath. "No, Ah don't."

"That's not a good enough reason for her to stay with us." Said the brown-haired man darkly. Anna detected an accent, but she couldn't say where it was from.

"What, we just put her back out dere on de street?" Remy responded angrily.

"So," said the black woman warily, "you can knock people out with a touch, right?"

"Yea, Ah can. . ."

"And you get their thoughts and memories, too?" She interrupted.

"Yea, their whole personally. But Ah can't control ma powers." Anna wasn't sure what about that statement was interesting, but the others were all looking at one another as if she had spilled the beans.

Finally, the large man with black hair spoke. "How long have you been on your own?" He said in a surprisingly quiet voice with a heavy Russian accent.

"About half a year."

"And what have you done to survive?" He continued.

"Anything Ah had to." She smiled weakly, then realized from their expressions that they wanted more details. "Ah took scraps from garbage cans, begged on the street, stole when Ah needed to."

"Ever get caught?" Asked the white woman.

"In the act, yea. But Ah could always outrun 'em or outsmart 'em. Only got picked up by the cops once, and that was when Ah was asleep."

"Then why aren't you in child protective services or something?" asked the black woman.

"Ah used ma powers an' got away."

"You do what you need to to survive," said the albino with a gravelly but sympathetic voice. Anna turned and saw a similarly sympathetic look on his face and even his big yellow eyes. She smiled warmly at him.

"Are you averse to using your powers in other circumstances?" Asked the white woman, shaking Anna out of the moment she was having with the albino.

"What kind of circumstances?"

"To help a friend. To get information." Said the brown-haired man.

_'Are they asking what Ah think they're asking?'_ She contemplated her response. '_Ah told ya gurl, they up ta no good . . .'_ she pushed the cop to the back of her mind. "Ah wouldn't wanta hurt an innocent person for no reason. Ah don't even know if people wake up once Ah touch 'em."

"How many people have you used your powers on?" Asked the Russian.

"Three so far. My friend Cody from back home, a cop in Montgomery, and yesterday . . ."

"Don' have ta talk 'bout dat, petit, Remy already told dem."

"Give me their names and info and I can find out what their status is." Said the white woman. Anna was surprised, but figured giving her that information couldn't hurt. She went into the memories of Cody, Roger, and Officer Kerrigan and gave her their full names and dates of birth.

"Returning to the matter at hand," said the black woman angrily, "if we were talking about people like that fucker who tried to mess with you in the park, would you be willing to use your powers on them?"

"Yes." Rogue replied without hesitation. Her green eyes met the black woman's brown eyes, making sure she was being perfectly understood.

"Are we done here?" Asked the brown-haired man to his compatriots.

"Rogue, we'd like to discuss something amongst ourselves. Would you like to take a shower?" Asked the white woman. Anna nodded cautiously. "Good. Gambit, will you show her up and give her a change of clothes?"

"Come on, petit." Called Remy, who was already walking to the stairway. She scurried to catch up to him as they climbed the stairs. She could hear some quiet muttering from the dining room, but couldn't make out what they were saying. After they got to the landing, Remy opened up the first door to his left and said, "Here ya go, petit. You take as long as you need. I'll find some clean clothes dat you can wear an' leave dem outside de door. Leave your dirty t'ings in here an' I'll get dem washed for ya."

She smiled graciously and he started to walk back to the stairs. "Wait, Remy?"

He turned back to her "Yea?"

"Ah don't get what's goin' on. Am Ah is some kinda trouble or do ya'll want me here?" She said, panic starting to settle in as she realized how strange the situation was.

"De won't hurt ya or turn ya into the cops, if dat's what you're worrying 'bout. Worst case scenario, you have to leave tonight an' never tell no body 'bout us. I'll do what I can ta see dat you stay longer den dat," he said with a smile. "Now, go, get clean."

"Okay Remy. Ah'll trust ya. But God help ya if ya betray me."

"Never, chere."

* * *

That's it for now, tune in next time to find out what this group is all about. Please review!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Re-Invent Yourself**

**Summary**: Rogue was raised by her human parents and runs away when her power manifests. She sets out on a long, difficult journey to find a place where she truly belongs.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own it, so don't sue.

**A/N: ** I finished writing this chapter last night and today X-Men Legacy #274 came out. Besides being an incredible issue, it totally confirms my thesis that Rogue was shaped by the parent figures in her life and not able to develop her own independent identity. That's the basis of this fic, showing her without any strong central parental figures and having her come to her own conclusions on, well, everything. So if you're not happy with my treatment of her, grab that issue and see it from her own mouth.

* * *

Once Remy disappeared down the stairs, Anna turned around and stepped into the bathroom. '_Whoa_,' she thought. After months of cleaning herself with sponge baths in MacDonald's restrooms, the sight of a large, pristine bathroom with a shower and whirlpool tub was overwhelming. Anna smiled, '_Well, if they are going to kick me out after Ah clean up, Ah'm going ta make this worth ma while_.' She started discarding her clothing, recognizing how truly filthy it all was: a raggedy old sweatshirt, a faded long sleeve t-shirt underneath that was now far too small for her, jeans with rips in the most inconvenient places, a pair of leather gloves that she had found that were falling apart at the seams, crusty socks, and shoes which she had worn through. She stepped into the warm shower, sighing contentedly as the filth washed off of her and down the drain. After she had thoroughly scrubbed herself off, she decided to treat herself to a soak in the whirlpool tub.

While the tub was filling, she went to check to see if the clothing that Remy promised to put outside the door was there. She opened the door as quietly as possible, and sure enough, there was a change of clothes. Nothing special, just a grey pair of sweatpants that was several inches too long for her, a long-sleeve black shirt, and a pair of socks. But they were clean. As she examined the clothing, she heard raised voices from the dining room below. She was just able to make out a few words over the rushing water.

"She's just a kid." Stated the brown-haired man pointedly.

"Dat's kind of the point, homme."

"What?" The white woman asked incredulously.

"She look like a sweet lil' child, but she ain't. She can git close to dem an' knock dem out without dem suspecting a t'ing."

The conversation continued, but Anna couldn't discern anything more than occasional words after that. She slowly closed the door and stepped into the tub. She tried to focus on the hot whirling water that was soothing her tired muscles, but her mind was racing. '_Okay, they definitely want something from me, or for me to do something for them. Probably illegal.'_ Anna tried to remain calm, but other voices in her head were exacerbating the situation. '_Do ya wantta be a criminal or an accessory ta the crimes they'll commit? Call the police, girl, that what we here fo'_.' Warned the cop, but she quickly pushed him to the back of her mind. '_Ya don't understand a damn thing_,' she thought bitterly.

Cody's voice was far more difficult to ignore. '_Anna, what do ya think you're doing? Ya can't get messed up with these people. It ain't you.'_ She closed her eyes and could see him, clear as day, pleading with her. His blond hair and clear blue eyes implored her to reconsider what she was already contemplating. _'Ah'm sorry Cody, but I gotta figure this out on ma own.'_ With that, his presence quietly receded and she was left alone with her thoughts.

'_Think logically, girl. They're mutants, that's good. They know what Ah have been goin' through. They obviously ain't all that interested in being law-abiding citizens, Ah can understand that. 'Specially since the world treats us mutants like crap. They want me ta help 'em with something, almost certainly illegal, by using mah powers. There's the problem. Ah can't hurt another innocent person_.' Her thoughts turned to Cody and Officer Kerrigan, but she made sure to keep their voices out of her mind. She mourned for them, hoped their conditions had improved, hoped that the woman downstairs actually could find out how they were doing. But then her mind turned to Roger. Her mind filled with rage and she could hear him attempt to scream despicable and hateful things from the back of her mind, but she shut him out. The black woman had asked her if she was willing to use her powers again on people like him. As she lay in the warm maelstrom of water, she imagined it to be her abhorrence of the man, and any other person who would attack a child out of perversion or a mutant out of hate. '_No question, Ah would do it again. It's the only way Ah can defend myself. Maybe even help someone who can't help themself_.'

She decided she would listen to their offer. As long as she wasn't permanently hurting someone who didn't deserve it, she would do what she needed to survive. She was sick of being a victim, sick of being weak. If they were giving her the option of standing on her own two feet, she would take it.

With newfound resolve, Anna got up and out of the tub. She stood in front of the mirror and dried off, noting how emaciated she was. Blow-drying her hair while staring vacantly in the mirror, Cody's voice reemerged in her head. '_What are ya doing, Anna? This ain't the girl Ah know._'

'_That's because Ah ain't Anna from Caldecott County anymore. Ah'm Rogue.'_

* * *

Freshly cleaned for the first time in months and wearing oversized yet comfortable clothes, Rogue gathered her courage and walked downstairs to the dining area where she expected to talk with Remy and his friends again. Remy, the albino, and the Russian were sitting there, chatting quietly amongst themselves, and turned to look at her as she appeared at the table.

"Feel better, petit?"

"Yea, thanks. Ah haven't had a proper bath since Ah ran away."

"Your clothes are in de wash now. Should be done in an hour or so."

"So you have a reprieve till then," the Russian quietly chimed in. Rogue gave a sly smile at that.

"An' when are ya'll gonna tell me what this is all about?"

The albino jumped out of his chair and announced, "Caliban will get the others," then scurried off.

Rogue slowly sat down at the dining room table and hoped the albino, Caliban, would not take much time gathering the other members of the household; she didn't know how long her courage and conviction would hold out. She figured small talk with Remy and the Russian was her best bet, so she politely commented, "Nice place ya'll got. How long have ya lived here?"

"Two years." Replied the Russian, stoically.

"Dat's how long Piotr has been here. We ain't all been here dat long. I been here 'bout nine months."

Rogue couldn't figure out what to say next, but since the others were trickling in, she decided to remain silent. Everyone but the white woman with the black mark over her eye had assembled and Rogue's nerves were starting to get to her. They gathered around the dining room table and waited in silence for what felt like an eternity. She couldn't take it anymore and blurted "So, what do ya'll want from me?"

She surprised even herself confidence, and the others looked uncertain as how to proceed. The brown-haired man was the only one looking at her with disdain and bluntly responded, "What makes you think we want you at all?"

"She overheard us talking, idiot." Said the black woman to the man. "Plus, with all the questions we asked her, what other conclusion would she come to?" The woman then looked directly at Rogue, "Congratulations, kid, you're officially **not** the stupidest person in the room." The brown-haired man winced at that and looked ready to start a fight, but it was interrupted by the sound of the white woman walking down the stairs.

"All here? Good." Said the white woman, assessing the room, recognizing that two of her colleagues were about to come to blows. "So, to start off with, Rogue, I have information about the three people you've used your powers on." She held a note pad and started looking down at what was written.

Rogue was shocked that the woman was able to actually find out their statuses, '_And so fast, too!_' She held her breath, expecting the worst.

"Officer Douglas Kerrigan of the Montgomery Police Department was taken to the hospital for an 'aneurysm' on the date in question. He was released from the hospital two weeks later and is now back to work, although on desk duty." Rogue smiled, glad that the cop was fine, but she still couldn't comprehend what that meant about her and her powers. The white woman continued, "Roger Peterson is currently unconscious but in stable condition at New York Presbyterian Hospital and is being treated for a 'stroke' and blunt force trauma." There was a note of satisfaction in her voice, and Rogue forced herself not to smirk. '_That bastard deserved far worse than he got._' At that thought, Roger's voice started screaming, but she threw him back into the recesses of her mind. "He is expected to make a full recover. But apparently," the white woman dryly stated, "he is going to be held for questioning once he recovers. Go figure."

Rogue looked around the room, attempting to gauge the mood of the group. Most of them looked quietly pleased with the news of Roger's condition. '_My kind of people_,' she thought happily. Then she gulped and hesitantly asked, "And Cody?"

The white woman glanced up from her notes and looked Rogue in the eye. The woman's normally inscrutable face held a hint of sadness. "Cody Robbins is still in a coma. His condition has remained unchanged for six months." Anna felt as though she had been punched in the gut. She managed to squeak out "Why was Officer Kerrigan okay but not Cody?"

"The first manifestation of a mutation is often very intense." The Russian, Piotr responded.

Anna buried her head in her hands. '_Ah'm sorry, Ah'm sorry, Ah'm sorry._' She repeated it like a mantra in her mind, all the while, Cody's voice hushing her. The fact that Cody was trying to ease her distress made her feel worse. '_Dammit, why don't you hate me!_'

'_Ya hate yourself 'nough for the both of us. Ah know you didn't mean ta do it._'

She inhaled sharply and looked at the white woman. "Think he'll get better?"

"Honestly? No."

"I'm sorry, petit," Remy said softly.

Rogue gave a weak nod. She would deal with her heartache later. "So, what do ya want with me?" She asked again.

"You know what your powers can do," stated the black woman, far more softly than she had spoken before, "would you still be willing to use them on people?"

"Like Ah said before, if it ain't someone innocent like Cody, if it's like that bastard who tried ta rape me, **yes**."

"And if it was someone like the cop in Alabama?" Asked the brown-haired man.

"In the right situation, sure. As long as Ah know that the damage ain't permanent."

The members of the group looked at the white woman, who gave a slight nod. They then looked at the Piotr who also nodded, as did Remy and Caliban when it came their time. The black woman gave a shrug and the brown haired man shook his head. _'What was that little vote about?'_

"We have an offer for ya, petit." Remy's eyes locked onto hers, and she realized that they lacked the humor and warmth that they usually held. "My friends an' I, well we t'ink dat you might want ta join us."

"Doing what, exactly?"

He gave a smile that didn't extend to his eyes. "Now, petit, no matter what ya choose, dis don't go beyond dis room, tu comprends? De consequences be dire."

"Ah understand."

Remy hesitated, and the white woman spoke up. "We handle delicate problems. Your ability to render targets unconscious without physical violence, coupled with your ability to gain insight into an individual's memory and knowledge would make you a valuable asset."

Rogue cocked an eyebrow. "'Bout time ya'll were straightforward with me. 'Cept for that 'delicate problems' stuff. Ah can't say if Ah'll help ya or not if Ah don't know what cause you're fightin' for."

"We don't fight for any cause." The black woman said scornfully.

"Ya'll are mercenaries." It wasn't a question, and Rogue knew she wouldn't get a response. "What kinda jobs do ya normally get?"

"Information, mostly. Sometimes something heavier," said the white woman, "but only with just cause."

Rogue understood why being cryptic was important for them, but she wanted straight answers and was getting impatient. "What do you consider to be a just cause?"

"How 'bout defending the rights of other mutants. That good enough for you?" Said the brown-haired man bitterly. If the silent vote hadn't been clear about his position on having her there, his tone certainly did.

"Yes," Rogue said defiantly, "that's good enough for me."

"Are you with us?" Asked Caliban.

She had only one more question to ask, and she didn't know what the code was, so she blurted it out as bluntly as possible. "Would Ah have to kill anybody?"

"We would never make you do that," said the white woman.

'_That's not a no, is it? That's a not yet.'_ Rogue shoved her doubts to the back of her mind with the voices. "Ah'm in."

* * *

I know that didn't answer all your questions about these folks, but the next chapter will. I'd like to thank everyone who is encouraging me to keep up this story, especially my first ten followers: tenchi13, rock Velmont666, tx peppa, peace4all357, Darman Skirata, Mandykllie23, demonicpoet, 13ladybugs, Malice Shaw, and BasiaM82.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Back In My Life**

**Summary**: Rogue was raised by her human parents and runs away when her power manifests. She sets out on a long, difficult journey to find a place where she truly belongs.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own it, so don't sue.

**A/N: ** I haven't been getting much feedback, and so if I don't feel like anyone is interested in this story, I'll end it in a few chapters, at an appropriate stopping place. If you want me to keep writing, please review!

* * *

"Ah'm in," Rogue said, not sure if she had just signed away her soul. She wasn't even sure if she cared.

"Okay then. We have some details to go over."

The white woman, who later identified herself as Domino, started discussing the obligations that Rogue would soon be under. Occasionally one of the others would pipe up, but Domino appeared to be the self appointed spokeswoman for the group. She made it clear that any betrayal would be dealt with swiftly and harshly. The albino Caliban's main power was tracking mutants, so there was no place she could run or hide if she deceived them. "If you want to leave us, we'll talk. We've had members amicably split from us before, and they've been fine," said Domino far too calmly, making Rogue think they weren't as fine as she claimed.

Rogue would be under intensive training for the first few months, and required to do more than her fair share of the housework during that period to earn her keep. Her training duties would be split up by the teammates. The black woman, whose name was Joanna Cargill, would be in charge of her basic physical training, including strength, speed, agility, and health. Domino was to train her in firearms and explosives, Caliban in hand-to-hand combat, Remy would train her in stealth and espionage, Piotr, a.k.a. Colossus, would take care of her academic development. The brown haired man, Dominic, a.k.a. Avalanche, wanted nothing to do with her, but his teammates convinced him to help her with "special assignments."

After all this had been explained to her, Rogue inquired, "So what do we call this little group of ours? Ya'll give yourselves a name?" She figured that if everyone had a codename, their mercenary group had to have one too.

"Sometimes we call ourselves Carnifex," stated Caliban.

"Carnifex?" Anna asked confused.

"It was a name we come up wit' as kinda a joke, petit. De name stuck."

"Ah don't get it. What was the joke?"

"Uh, none of can remember. T'ink we was all drunk at de time."

Rogue bust up laughing, '_Great, I've signed up with a bunch of drunken mercenaries._'

After she stopped laughing, the group adjourned, and Remy took her on a tour of the house. The kitchen in back was a comfortable size, although she thought it was bound to get crowed with seven people under one house.

"Ya cook at all?" Asked Remy.

"Just the basics: pasta, eggs, pancakes."

"We take turns makin' meals. You'll need ta learn to cook."

Remy showed her the adjacent laundry room. Rogue had been assigned to do all the laundry until she was a full-fledged member. '_It's like Ah'm the mutant version of Cinderella_,' she sighed. Unlike the homey, comfortable living area, the basement reminded her just what she had gotten into. Most of the space was taken up by a training area and gym, with high-tech looking equipment. Remy pointed out the two doors in the back which she would not be allowed to go into until she was a full member. One was an office, where the all the tactical information they acquired was held, the other was the weapons store. '_Crap, they ain't fooling around, are they_?' She was a bit relieved to go back upstairs, as she was more than a tad intimidated at the paramilitary set-up they had in the basement. Remy took her to the floor where she had had her bath and then continued climbing the stairs to the top floor.

"You up here," he said as he opened the door to a small, sparsely furnished room. It has a twin bed, small dresser, and a desk. "It not much, but you can decorate it how ya want."

Anna was suddenly overwhelmed. A room to call her own. The only other time she had that was with her parents, and they hadn't lifted a finger to make her stay. And here were these strangers, willing to give her a place of her own. She could feel the tears welling, but she didn't want to cry in front of Remy. "Thank you," she said, hoping he got the hint that she needed some time alone. Apparently he did, and left saying, "bathroom on left, my room on your right if ya need anyt'ing. Dinner at eight." She nodded and he started down the hallway. She lay down on the bed and let the tears flow down, '_An' now Ah start ma life over_.'

* * *

The next few weeks were unlike anything she had experienced. She was treated as an adult mercenary and a pitiful child at the same time. She had been bought a new wardrobe, which included a lot of black. "You're a mercenary, for heaven's sake. You can't go wandering around with a _My Little Pony_ t-shirt," said Cargill sarcastically when Rogue asked why she couldn't add more color to her clothing choices. However, she was made to buy a private school uniform with a rather short skirt, for a reason she couldn't fathom. She hoped it wasn't Remy pulling a prank on her or living out some sicko fantasy. '_The guy is adorable as hell an' he can be plenty sweet too, but that boy has one dirty mind._' Her little room became more like home, a bookcase was added and Piotr made sure she had plenty of books to read. She got new bed linens and was given $100 spending money to decorate her room, which she mostly spent on posters and a new lamp to replace the ugly avocado one on her nightstand.

Her days were filled with obligations. She cooked one meal for the household on most days, normally breakfast because that's where her meager talent lay. She had to do laundry, get groceries, and clean all the common areas. And that was in addition to her training. She did physical training till her muscles ached, learned strategy, learned how to fire weapons, and then did another round physical training, this time till her muscles screamed. She was weak after the months of scrounging on the streets, but Cargill, Caliban, and Remy all commented on how fast she was. Piotr made sure that she caught up with her schoolwork, even though she didn't go to school anymore. Rogue wasn't sure how she fit everything into one day, but she did. Every night she went to bed exhausted but fulfilled.

She hadn't been asked to go on any missions yet, to her relief, but she knew several took place. The team would leave her at the house, and would give her explicit instructions about what to do if they didn't come back at an allotted time. In essence, it added up to burning the house down to bury the evidence. Those times tried her nerves, making her wish she was fighting alongside them instead of helplessly waiting. She would sit in the living room looking at the clock, praying that nothing had happened to any of her new friends. On most occasions, they returned with only minor cuts and bruises long before the specified "zero hour."

Twice in those first months her nerves were rattled beyond belief. The first time they staggered home in a far more frantic manner that usual, practically dragging Caliban with them. His left leg had been grazed by a bullet and as the other members of Carnifex shuffled around him, tending his wound, Anna sat silently in the corner, trying not to cry at her new friend's distress. He was up and about in a couple of days, and Remy told her, "Dese t'ings happen, you gotta get used to dem. We all strong, we can handle dem, so can you." She learned to internalize the danger inherent in her new life, but she was not prepared when three weeks later she sat watching the clock, "zero hour" looming. That night's deadline was 3:15 am, and every second that ticked by after it passed 3:00 am seemed like a punch in the gut. '_Please, please, please come home_,' she started to cry. Her mind filled with terrible visions of her comrades being killed or being captured and tortured. She cried for every last one of them, even Avalanche, who hated her. At 3:11am Cargill came peeling through the door, followed by the rest of the crew and Anna wept for joy.

* * *

It was almost three months since she joined Carnifex, and four days before her fourteenth birthday, when there was a strange visitor to the house. Rogue had just come back from the produce market, a heavy bag in each arm, cursing the fact that she had to go through both the regular door and the security door with her heavy load, when she heard an unfamiliar voice. In all the time she had been there, no one had been in the house other than the mercenaries. Domino had stressed how no one was to know their address or even the neighborhood they lived in. Rogue felt her heart rate speed up at the thought of a stranger in her home. The new voice came from the kitchen, and it mingled with the voices of Domino and Colossus. It was a woman's voice, cold, low, and enigmatic.

'_Ah shouldn't go in there, Ah know that this ain't my business, Domino will kill me. But Ah gotta know who it is, what they want._' She looked down at the grocery bags and smiled, '_well, Ah can't let this food spoil_,' she though gleefully. In the back of her mind an analogy involving curiosity and a feline warned her away, still she sauntered toward the kitchen quietly but unabashedly.

"If you can't get the information –" the stranger said.

"I never said that," replied Domino sternly.

"We will have the information as previously discussed," stated Piotr calmly, as Rogue walked into the room. All three turned to look at her. Piotr seemed mildly intrigued, Domino looked angry, and stranger looked perplexed. The stranger really was strange. She was a tall, lean woman with yellow eyes, bright red hair, deep blue skin, and a white dress. Even in this household she was unusual looking.

"Hey all. Don't mind me, just got to put these groceries away," Rogue feigned nonchalance.

Domino finally snapped out of her stupor long enough to reprimand Rogue, "What do you think you're doing here? What have I told you about disrupting meetings?"

"I'm not to disturb meetings downstairs unless there is an emergency. How can this be a meeting if it's in the kitchen with an outsider, especially since we are not allowed to inform anyone of our whereabouts?" She replied, trying not to be cheeky, but it was hard. '_Ha! Caught Domino breaking her own rules, what she going ta do 'bout that?_'

Domino flushed a little and appeared about to respond when the stranger interrupted, "Who is this?"

"I've already mentioned her to you before Mystique."

"_This_ is Rogue?" She sounded incredulous and Rogue was unsure if she should be offended or flattered. "She's very young," said Mystique, looking her over.

"As Gambit keeps reminding us, that's the point," said Colossus.

Mystique gracefully walked up to Rogue, stopped inches from her, squinted her eyes and looked her over carefully and closely. Mystique's interrogative gaze and close proximity made Rogue freeze up, but she refused to be deterred by a stranger. Her housemates had taught her about staying cool under pressure, and she wanted to prove that she was fully capable of standing toe to toe with anyone. She expected Colossus or Domino to intervene, but they stayed silent as Mystique silently critiqued Rogue. Finally, Mystique stepped back and turned to Domino.

"Has she been in the field?"

"Not yet. She was quite unfit when we took her in, it has taken her a while to adapt."

'_Okay, now that's just rude. Ah'm standing right here, ya don't have ta tell Smurfette shit about me, Domino_,' she thought bitterly, but stayed silent.

Mystique looked back at Rogue, "I hear that your powers remain untapped."

"Tappin' them ain't the problem, it's untapping 'em."

"Same thing really, it's all a matter of control."

Domino took a step towards Rogue and addressed Mystique in an impatient tone. "So you're willing to help?"

Mystique raised an eyebrow and looked Domino in the eye. "If what you tell me about her is true, yes. I'll try to see what I can do. For a price."

"Rogue controlling her powers benefits us as well as it does you. We're not going to pay you for your services."

"Oh, yes you will," replied Mystique, "you need my help. Unless you know another mutant whose power," changing shape before their eyes into a perfect doppelganger of Domino, "lies in her very skin." The shape-shifter gave a wry smile at Domino and a wink to Rogue before she returned to her natural blue state.

Rogue was stunned. _'Even Ah have ta admit that was cool, Anna_,' commented Cody.

"We will talk payment after you have assessed her situation at a later date," said Colossus calmly, attempting to diffuse the situation between the two strong-willed women.

"Fine," Mystique said harshly, "I'll meet with her upon my return."

"We will have the information you requested by then," a much calmer-sounding Domino said. Rogue had known her long enough to realize she was still pretty steamed, but putting up a good front.

Mystique nodded sharply, and Colossus escorted her to the front door. Both Rogue and Domino stood motionless in the kitchen until they heard both of the doors close.

"She's help me control my powers?" Rogue asked quietly.

Domino whipped her head around to look at Rogue, fire in her eyes. "We'll see," she said, still angry. Rogue wasn't sure if it was with her, Mystique, or both. Domino started stomping out of the room, shouting back "don't you have groceries to put away?"

* * *

Anna realized that to a group of mutant mercenaries a birthday was not a legitimate reason for a celebration. It certainly wasn't cause enough to breach their security and have a party of any sort. But her constant (and not very subtle) reminders of her upcoming birthday made it impossible for her housemates to ignore the day. They gave her a break from cooking, washing, and cleaning duty, but she still had her full litany of training. In the three months she had been there, she had grown strong, stealthy and downright devious. She could hold her own with Caliban in combat training, and Remy was constantly telling her that if she ever wanted a different career, she would make an excellent thief. "An' I should know, chere," he would always add with a mischievous grin. All of the training, exercise, and lessons were over by 4:00pm, and she looked forward to relaxing for the rest of her birthday.

She had become so accustomed to working all day that within an hour she was bored as hell. Avalanche and Domino were in the other room while she restlessly watched television. "Kid, turn it down!" Dominic yelled, as surly as ever. Rogue gave an audible sigh and turned off the TV.

"Hey, do ya mind if Ah go out for a walk?" She asked Domino, spitefully ignoring Avalanche all together.

Domino looked up from her paper. "Sure, just keep close." Rogue nodded and put on her coat. "Wait, Rogue?"

"Yea?"

Domino stood up and took some money out her pocket, holding it out to her. "Go get yourself a cake or something, huh?"

Rogue took the money, smiled and thanked her, then went out into the cold, as night was falling. She looked at the money in her hands, '_Huh, $40, not bad_,' but she was disappointed that no one had bothered to think of getting her a cake before now. '_Well, what did ya expect with this lot_?' Officer Kerrigan said spitefully. Rogue growled back, '_ya haven't bothered to talk ta me in weeks, and that's what you say to me? Didn't your momma ever tell ya that if ya don't have anything nice to say you should say it at all_?'

The cold winter night air was befuddling to her; she thought that she would have gotten used to being away from the warm South by now, but she still wasn't. By the time she got to the upscale bakery she was nearly frozen. She had to get a cup of coffee before she could even decide on her cake. She left warmed, caffeinated, and with a huge German Chocolate Cake. She couldn't help but gloat to herself a little, '_Best momma could ever do was cake from a mix. Even that she screwed up. This is gonna be a thousand times better_.'

'_Ah always liked what your momma made for your birthday, Anna_.'

'_Cody, don't. Don't try an' make me think about the good times with them. Not now. Not today_.' Cody didn't respond. He had been talking less and less to her, and unlike how it was with Officer Kerrigan and Roger, it was an unwelcome silence. As much as she hated having hurt him, she liked the idea that her best friend was always with her. But who she was, who she was becoming, was no longer Cody's innocent best friend, and so a distance had grown between them, even though he was stuck in her own head.

She was still moping as she walked back into the house. The smell of pizza assaulted her nose. She turned to walk into the dining room and was surprised to see all her housemates standing around chatting around four large boxes of pizza. Several of the mutants greeted her as she walked into the room and Piotr took the cake box out of her hand, promising to keep it safe while she had dinner.

"What's all this?" She asked, knowing that pigging out on pizza didn't exactly mesh with the disciplined mercenary thing they had going.

"Not like we're Jehovah's Witnesses or something. We do celebrate birthdays," said Cargill.

"You like pepperoni, yes?" Asked Caliban, holding out a paper plate.

"Yea," she squeaked, hit with the fact that they actually made an effort, "thanks guys."

They ate pizza, chatted, and goofed around, and when they were done Piotr brought back out the birthday cake. He had anointed with a single candle, and while only two of them appeared to know the lyrics to "Happy Birthday," they sang it nonetheless. Even Avalanche was mouthing the words.

"Make a wish, petit."

There was only one wish she could make, '_Ah wish ta get control over ma powers_,' and she blew out her candle. She was given a generous helping of German Chocolate Cake, which was delicious, but she couldn't finish it, not on top of five slices of greasy pizza.

"Uhhh, Ah think Ah'm gonna ta be sick."

"Better not be, you still have training in the morning," warned Domino. With that Rogue almost passed out.

"Can my present be ta not have ta wake up till noon?" She begged.

"Aw, but chere, if dat is your present, what we gonna do with dese?" Remy smirked as he brought out three packages from the kitchen.

She gave an audible gasp and did her best not to shriek like a little girl. The first present that Remy handed over turned out to be a large art book, filled with beautiful paintings. "Thanks ya'll," she said, but looked only at Piotr, who she knew must have chosen it. The second present turned out to be a laptop. "Holy. . ."

"You'll need it for schoolwork," said Piotr.

"And mission research," added Caliban.

The third present was wrapped in blue paper and was long and thin, like a notebook. Domino handed it to her with an expressionless face, worrying Rogue as to what was in the last package. She opened it and found a manila folder. She just started at the folder, not opening it. Because she didn't have to open it, she knew what it was, what it meant. The only thing they kept in manila folders were mission profiles, which the members of Carnifex would carry around with them and study constantly. She had never been allowed to look at one. Until now.

"Does this mean . . ."

They all nodded at her.

'_Ah'm goin' on a mission._'

* * *

If anyone can come up with a better summary for the story so far, please tell me, I really can't think of a good way to explain it.

FYI: "Carnifex" is Latin for executioner or hangman. Read into that what you will.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6:** **Uncaring Machine**

**Disclaimer:** Sure, I'm a little crazy, but I'm not so delusional that I think I own any of these characters, and I'm not making any money off of them, so don't sue.

**A/N: **This chapter has some Romy cuteness going for it. The title of this story, and all the chapter titles are songs by the German synthpop band De/Vision. The songs I used for the chapter titles are a pretty good compliment to the chapters themselves, if you're looking for something to listen to.

* * *

Rogue's first mission, as Avalanche put it, "Should be a cake-walk, unless you fuck it up." While she wasn't sure that breaking into a pharmaceutical company's highly guarded research laboratory would be her definition of easy, but she knew that it was pretty standard fare for Carnifex. Said pharmaceutical company was supposedly doing illegal testing on mutants, and the group's mission was to obtain the data that either proved or disproved that information. Rogue's participation in the operation would be minimal, just distracting the security forces who worked at the front gate, "by any means necessary." Translation: charm them, con them, or knock them out.

Charming them was her first option, and Remy helped her with the tactics. '_Seems appropriate_,' she mused, '_he does have that charm thing going for him_.' She had lived under the same roof with him for two months before he admitted that charm actually **was** one of his mutations, which pissed her off, but didn't surprise her. He was handsome, but she knew he must have had some assistance with his love life, which was jam packed with beautiful women from what she could tell. Anna was a little jealous, until she realized that the shelf-life of the women in his life was less than a twenty-four hours. She knew him longer, and far better, than any of the women he dated, and she was satisfied with that for now.

Gambit's plan for Rogue was for her to utilize her youth, her beauty, and grown men's obsession with teenage girls in school-girl uniforms. She would charm and distract the guards, and if necessary, she would use her powers on them. While the other members of her household were unable to help her significantly in dealing with her mutation, they figured out that a light touch lasting one second would not permanently harm her victim. She had become adept at dealing with the voices in her head, for the most part, and was willing to add a voice or two if it was necessary. She really hoped it wouldn't be, not only because she wasn't that keen on having other personalities up there, but because it would mean that she would be expected to do it on a regular basis. And while a dozen personalities in her head seemed daunting yet doable, having a few hundred would drive her insane.

* * *

Rogue was dropped of about a half mile away from the entrance to the Connecticut lab, which was on the outskirts of a large town. It was a cold night, and her thin school uniform was not helping any. '_Ah know Ah'm supposed to look cold, but Ah think Ah'm going to look like Ah have hypothermia. Hypothermia ain't alluring_.'

The lab coming into view, she forced her teeth to stop chattering, unbuttoned her top enough to show her cleavage, and put her best sexy/sweet face on. She wandered up to the small kiosk next to the front gates and noted the two guards there. She subtlety pressed a button on her watch once as one of the guards noticed her and got up. '_Of all the awesome spy equipment Carnifex got, alls Ah get is this radio transmitter watch? Screw that. Next time, Ah insist on getting an invisibility cloak or something. Oh, wait, that only exists in _Harry Potter_. Damn, too cold to think straight. Focus girl!_'

"What you doing out here, darling?" Asked the guard, who had now left the confines of the shed.

Making her eyes as doe-like as possible and highlighting her Southern accent, Rogue replied quietly, "Ah . . . Ah'm really sorry ta bother ya, sir, but it looks like Ah got myself into a spot of trouble."

The guard looked her over a little too closely and she tried not to let her disgust show. '_Hey Roger, this a friend of yours?_' She asked her would-be rapist in her head, purposely stifling his reply. The guard, who was still staring at her chest, said, "Anything I can help with?"

"Oh, this is terribly embarrassing, sir, but Ah got stuck out here. Ma new friends, they played a little trick on me, ditched me an' drove off. It's so hard bein' the new girl at school," and with that Rogue gave a little pout and batted her lashes.

The guard gave a smile that was both sympathetic and twisted at the same time, and his response was a similar amalgam of those two disparate sentiments. "Don't you worry, darling, we'll take care of you. Come on, we'll call your mom."

Rogue's eyes brightened, "Oh thank ya so much sir. Ah'm so cold out here and Ah don't know my way around the town yet."

The guard waved her forward, past him into the guard booth, where his partner still sat surveying monitors. He glanced up from his station, looking at her and his compatriot.

"The girl needs to use the phone," said the first guard. The second guard nodded and returned his gaze to his work. The pervy guard walked by her, getting far too close for her comfort, and pointed to the phone, "Go right ahead."

"Thank you," Rogue said sweetly, and sat down in front of the phone, the guard watching her every move. She had less than five minutes till the rest of the group were there and she still had to incapacitate the guards. The first one she could distract easily enough, he was pervy enough to be content staring at her breasts all night, but the second guard seemed pretty dedicated to his work and was not about the be charmed by anything she had to offer. She picked up the phone and dialed the dummy number that she knew to be a pay phone outside a convenience store. While fake chatting with her mother, she decided on her next move. She hung up the phone, with a "Thanks, mom. Ah'll see ya in a half hour."

She turned around and batted her eyes at the first guard, "Ah'm awful sorry, but she can't get here for a half a' hour. Mind if Ah stick around till then, sir?"

He winked at her and she had to stop herself from shuttering. "Of course you can wait with us."

"Great. Um, is there a bathroom Ah can use?"

"Sure. Hey Ricky, can you take her to the porta-potty? I got to check in."

Ricky nodded again and got up from his chair while Rogue quickly surveyed the monitors and suppressed her smile when she realized, '_Hey, the porta-potty ain't in view of any of these. How dumb are they?_' She followed him silently around the corner to the porta-potty. "Wow, they really make ya go in here?" She asked the guard as sweetly as possible.

"Yea well," Ricky quietly answered, "it ain't the best job in the world."

Rogue smiled and thanked him and went into the stinky plastic cube. She sat on the seat wishing that she really did have to go to the bathroom, just so she could avoid thinking about what she was about to do. She had never planned on absorbing anyone before. In the past, it had been an accident or self defense. This felt different, this felt . . . wrong. She tried her best to psyche herself up. '_Just one second, a light tap, he'll only be out for a few hours. You __**can**__ do this. You __**need**__ to do this._' Rogue realized that she didn't know how long she had been in there, but she was sure that time was running out, so she stood up and got out.

"My, oh my. That thing sure is stinky, sugar. Sorry ya have to put up with that day in an' day out."

The guard shrugged. "We should get you back."

He turned and started walking, and Rogue quickly grabbed his hand. '_One Mississippi_' and she let her hand drop, just as he dropped to the ground. A very confused Ricky was now in her head, as withdrawn in her consciousness as he was in real life. She quickly threw him to the back of her mind, doing her best to apologize to the disembodied persona. She calmly walked back to the security shed and tapped on the door. The guard opened the door and smiled at her, then looked confused.

"Where's Ricky?"

"He said he needed ta go too, but Ah was freezing outside, so he sent me back."

"If I know Ricky, he's probably having a smoke or two."

"Yea. . ." Rogue leaned back against the wall facing the monitors, trying her best to look alluring so the guard would focus on her and not his work. She'd knock him out if she had to, but one sicko in her head was enough. She asked the guard, "So, what's your name, sugar?"

"I'll tell me mine if you tell me yours," he responded, winking at her. A string of lies flowed from her mouth, a carefully planned personality emerged and conversed with the guard, whose name turned out to be Jonas. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a couple of her teammates steal into the building, apparently unseen. '_Crap, another twenty minutes till they're clear_,' she cursed her bad luck, hoping that the time would go quickly, but knew that it wouldn't. She managed to keep the conversation with the guard going for several minutes, and he only glanced at the monitors once.

"Now come on, you can't be fifteen, a pretty thing like you. You've got to be at least eighteen."

Rogue froze. She had thought adding a year to her age was pushing it, but he really thought she was that old? '_Dammit girl, he just wantta see if he can git 'way with fu_—' Officer Kerrigan warned, before he was cut off by her mental shout. '_Ok, Ah get it! Ya don't have to spell it out for me. Oh, crap, the silence has been too long, he'll start working again_.'

"Wonder where Ricky's gone to?" Jonas quietly asked, realizing that his conversation with Rogue was not going the way he wanted it to.

"Like ya said, probably havin' a smoke," she replied as with a seductive smile.

He smiled back at her but returned his focus to the monitors. '_Fuck, Ah should have just gone along with it an' said Ah was eighteen._' She figured that she would have to absorb him, but decided to wait a couple of minutes to do it, hoping another alternative would arise. It was sixteen minutes since the team had entered, and she could hold off another minute or two till she had yet another voice in her head. At least that was what she thought up till the point when a small explosion crumbled the high security wall not twenty feet from the kiosk. '_Not good, not good!_'

Jonas jumped up, pulled out his gun, and was about to rush out the door when Rogue grabbed the phone off the desk and wacked him in the back of the head with it. "Shit!" She yelled at her own impetuousness, but was glad to see him unconscious on the floor. She jumped over him and out the door and saw several of her teammates running through the hole in the wall. She joined them in running, desperately wanting to know what went wrong, but more worried about being caught. A van approached them at high speed and stopped a few feet from the fleeing group. They dog-piled in and Domino shouted, "Go Colossus, go!" when they all had made it inside.

They sorted themselves out, and Rogue pulled on her sweatshirt and gloves, feeling instantly more at ease. The other members of Carnifex still seemed jumpy as they yelled at one another.

"Anyone following us?"

"I don't think so."

"Take evasive maneuvers anyway, Piotr."

"Da."

"What went wrong?" Rogue finally asked.

"Ran into some extra security procedures that we didn't anticipate. We still got the data, but by that time someone knew we were there," answered Cargill.

"Maybe she" Avalanche pointed at Rogue, "didn't do her part and that's what set off the alarm."

"Hey!" Rogue was furious at the accusation and although Avalanche's fiery temper was frightening, she was ready to put him out for good if he didn't take back his words. "Ah did **my** job. One of the guards was down before ya even got there, and the other was ogling my breasts the whole time. Not something Ah really enjoyed, by the way. And when ya'll had to make your hasty exit, Ah knocked him out. Don't blame me because the plan got screwed up, Ah would never let any of you down. Which is something you would know if you hadn't been a stuck-up prick and decided to be the only one not ta help me become a better fighter." She stared daggers at him, and while he returned her gaze, it was faltering. No one else said anything and her rage started to subside. Avalanche looked away, which she knew was as close to an apology as she would get. She looked around at her teammates. Their expressions ranged from the bemused to proud, Remy having a perfect balance of both. She sat back and tried to rest, knowing it was a long drive home. '_Crap, __**now**__ Ah have to pee_.'

* * *

Getting Ricky squared away in her mind had been surprisingly easy, dealing with her guilt about hurting him had not. Searching his mind, she found a profoundly lonely and hopeless individual. He was nice, but far too shy to make many friends. He was rather bright, but had to drop out of college after two years because he couldn't afford the tuition. He spent his days playing video games in a tiny studio apartment, and spent his nights at a job he hated. The closest thing he had to friends were fellow gamers, most of whom didn't even know his real name. Rogue felt horrible bringing pain and suffering to someone so down on his luck. She ended up sending a huge bouquet of flowers to his hospital room and contacted his gamer friends, telling them about his mishap (all anonymously, of course.) A couple of days after he was laid up, he put a picture on his webpage of him in the hospital, surrounded by gifts from his gamer buddies. Seeing it, Anna had to fight back the tears, not only did his friend come through for him, but the look on Ricky's face was filled with hope and promise.

"Rogue! Down here! Now!"

'_Geez Cargill, great way to ruin a moment_,' she thought bitterly and turning off her laptop.

She wandered downstairs to see Cargill with Domino, Piotr, and Mystique. Although no one had explicitly said it, it had been clear to her that the Connecticut job had been for the shape-shifter. The information had been transferred soon after it was stolen, but it had become common practice to give the hard data to customers on this sort of case, so that they could see for themselves that there had been no tampering.

"Rogue," Piotr said in his most professional voice, "Mystique wishes to speak to you about controlling your powers."

Rogue smiled but looked warily at the blue mutant, who in turn looked at her with cold yellow eyes. "May we sit down," Mystique said coolly.

Rogue looked to her teammates, who nodded cautiously. Domino piped up, "How about you sit in the living room." Rogue knew that Domino's suggestion was intended to keep them in plain sight, and was rather relieved. She had a hunch that this woman was not to be trusted at all. She made her way over to the large, comfortable chair facing the front window, and Mystique soon sat down on the sofa a few feet away.

"I understand how difficult your powers must be to control," stated Mystique, dryly.

"Ah doubt it."

"Do you think it was easy for me, suddenly having blue skin? At first I couldn't morph at will, it would be triggered by something or other, and I would change into random people. I know how it feels to have your own skin betray you." She looked at Rogue with unflinching eyes, but she seemed to echo the pain and anger that Rogue felt.

"How long did it take ya ta get control?" Rogue asked gently.

"It took me a while, but then I never had anyone to help me. Now then, first off we have to define the parameters of your power," stated Mystique.

"Okay. As far as Ah know, Ah can absorb the thoughts and memories of people with ma skin while rendering them unconscious."

"Are you sure that's the extent of your mutation?"

"Unless ma ability to sing '_It's the End of the World As We Know it (And I Feel Fine)_' to the letter is a mutation, than yea, that's it."

"Don't get smart with me girl." Rogue couldn't help but smile, and realized that a slight smile was playing on the shape-shifter's face as well. They discussed every aspect of her powers, how long it took to absorb people, the resulting coma and its length, the memories that were obtained, and the ability to control the voices in her head. More often than not, Rogue's answer to one of the questions was "Ah don't know." She didn't realize how much she didn't understand about her own powers. She didn't know if she gained a person's abilities when she touched them, she didn't know what would happen if she tried to absorb a mutant, she couldn't even explain the feeling of touching someone.

"You're going to have to experiment."

"What? Purposefully touch people for no reason? Ah can't do that, it's not right."

"If you ever want control, you're going to have to practice. Practice means people to practice on. If you can't find a volunteer, then you'll have to find some random people on the street to experiment on."

Rogue's mouth was agape and shock was in her eyes. "How can you be so heartless?"

"It very well may save people in the long run, and it could save your sanity."

Rogue sat in silence for a minute, realizing that she was right. '_The lesser of two evils is still evil_,' Cody piped up. '_Ya know Ah don't want ta hurt anybody, Cody, but Ah might have ta do this_.' Rogue bit her lip and looked at Mystique. "Will you volunteer?"

"No," she said bluntly, then adding, "you wouldn't want me in your mind, child. I've seen things no one should ever have to see." In her eyes there was a brief flash of sorrow, and Rogue gave her a sympathetic look. "Until you have done a few of the experiments, or are willing to try them in my company, I cannot help you," she said and stood up. Rogue jumped to her feet and the shape-shifter handed her a card. "Call me when you are ready for the next step."

Rogue didn't watch her as she bid farewell to the members of Carnifex who had been waiting and listening to their conversation. She heard the door close a minute later, but was still deep in thought, deciding how far she was willing to go to control her mutation. Pitor walked up to her and gave her a gentle smile and quietly said, "Whatever you decide, I will support you." She really wished she could give him the bear hug he so ardently deserved at that minute.

* * *

Rogue lounged on the big brown leather couch with her head on the armrest and her feet in Remy's lap. They were watching Jean Cocteau's "_Le Belle et la Bête_," which was visually enchanting to Rogue, and a good language lesson. Remy had been helping her with her French, which she had already had two years of in school, but she appreciated him helping her become more confident in her language skills. When he had suggested that just the two of them watch the old black and white fairy tale film on a Saturday night, she was slightly surprised. It had sounded less like a language lesson and almost sounded like a date, and when he had taken her feet and placed them in her lap, it definitely felt like a date. She tried to pay attention to the film, but keep glancing over at Remy.

She was stealing yet another glance at the handsome Cajun, while he appeared entranced by the film, when he suddenly asked, "Are ya going to keep looking at me, petit, or actually watch de movie?"

Anna blushed furiously, "Ah can do both, can't Ah?"

He turned to look at her, a mischievous grin on his face, "Until you're actually fluent in French, I'd t'ink you'd need ta see de subtitles."

Rogue looked offended, "Ah'll have ya know, Cajun, that Ah got straight A's in French. My teacher said Ah had a perfect Parisian accent," she smirked back at him, "much better than your gutter-trash swamp rat accent."

He gasped dramatically and proclaimed "You wound me, chere."

"Poor baby," she said in a mockingly sweet voice. "Why are ya here watching this movie with me anyway? Shouldn't you be out with some leggy blond whose name ya can't even remember?"

"I like brunettes more."

She blushed, "Ya didn't answer my question."

"Non. I didn't." She gave her best evil glare, which apparently wasn't very effective, because he just started laughing. "Okay, Okay, petit, if ya really want ta know, I'm just not in de mood to talk ta some dumb sorority girl tonight."

"Dating an intelligent girl ain't possible for you?"

"Smart girls tend ta want commitment, or at least for me ta stay de night. Not going ta happen, so I go for de kind of girls who are used ta one night stands. Problem is dey tend to be on de shallow, stupid side."

"Why don't ya want a real relationship, Remy? Ah know you, you care about people, ya deserve ta be loved."

Remy's eyes darkened and his expression changed to his best poker face. "We're mercenaries, Rogue. We can't afford ta care 'bout anyone. Sides, dere are plenty of reasons dat I don't want ta be wit' just one woman right now. Even if I did, no good femme would want ta be with me if dey really knew me."

Anna's concerned green eyes drifted over Remy's darkened features. He had never gone into too much detail about his past, other than being raised as a thief in New Orleans, but she knew that there were plenty of skeletons in his closet. Something about the life he lived convinced him that he wasn't worth loving, which broke her heart. Part of the reason that they got along so well was that both of them were trying to change their lives, live for themselves. But Remy seemed far more stuck in the past than she was, which she found ironic. '_Ah'm the one with the voices of people from her past stuck in her head, after all._' Her eyes still on him, she could see that the Beast was turning into a handsome prince on the television. Her prince was determined to stay a beast.

"You're a good man, Remy. Ya ain't perfect, ya have a past, but your heart is good, and that ain't something you can fake."

He looked sadly at her, "What makes you say dat, chere?"

"Ah wouldn't have an asshole for a best friend, now would Ah?"

The darkness faded from his eyes, "Ya really t'ink of me as your best friend, chere?"

Rogue nodded with a smile. "Ya were kind ta me when no one else was, ya took a big risk to help me out, you're always here for me when Ah need it, and no one makes me laugh like you do, Remy LeBeau."

She could see that there was a certain dampness in his eyes as he smiled at her. "Well den, I guess I'm doin' better than I thought." She gave him a quizzical look. "Dere ain't any way I could be all bad if de best person I know thinks dat highly of me."

She scooted over to him and shyly put her arms around him, pulling him into a gentle hug. She half expected him to jump back, but he just sat there motionless. Feeling awkward about the situation, she started to pull back, at which point Remy threw his arms around her and pulled her into a bone crushing hug. They stayed like that for a few minutes, Anna reveling in the first real display of friendship or affection that she's experienced in almost a year.

"Uh, Remy? Ah'm loving the hug, sugar, but Ah can't breathe."

He gave a hearty laugh and let go, but kept one arm around her, so she had to lean against him on the sofa. They both turned their attention again to the television. "Crap, we missed the ending."

"I'll rewind it, chere."

As he rewound the film, trying to find the spot where they had both lost their focus, Rogue asked, "Hey Remy?"

"Yea, Rogue?"

"How old are ya?"

He raised his eyebrows and hesitated, but finally replied, "I'll be eighteen next month. Why?"

"Ah was just trying to figure how inappropriate all those remarks you make about me really are," she said half jokingly.

"And . . .?"

"Four years older than me, Ah'd say bordering on pervy," she said, trying to sound serious, but grinning broadly.

"Compared ta what I say ta other beautiful women, petit, I'm a fucking saint 'round you."

"Oh God, that's a terrifying thought. And Ah ain't beautiful. And Ah don't qualify as a woman yet."

"You're gorgeous, chere, an' you'll only get more gorgeous wit' age. An' I t'ink dat wit' evert'ing you've experienced, you're far more of a woman den any of de girls I normally hit on."

She was sure that she had turned beet red, and although she wanted to refute everything he said, she heard footsteps coming from the basement and didn't want anyone walking in on such a personal conversation. Instead, she meekly said, "Thank you," and let the matter drop before Domino, Cargill, Colossus, and Avalanche walked into the dining room. They appeared to be talking about some new contact or something, but Rogue tried to ignore them and give the ending to the movie a second chance. She and Remy watched for a couple of minutes, snuggled on the couch together, before Caliban came running down from the upstairs, causing all eyes to go to him.

"He's coming!" Caliban exclaimed. Rogue looked at the other members of Carnifex and realized they were just as baffled as she was.

Avalanche piped up first, "Talk sense! Who—"

Dominic's tirade was cut short by a strange vibration. At first, Rogue thought it was Avalanche getting angry and causing a small tremor, but it appeared to be focused on the high tech metal security door. Suddenly, it burst open, causing all the mercenaries to jump up and assume attack positions. Instead of the cadre of mutant-hunting soldiers that they were expecting, a single person entered. He stepped slowly, with grace and dignity, stopping once he was in full view of the housemates.

Rogue could not claim to be an expert on human-mutant relations, she hated politics, even the politics that directly affected her, and therefore she couldn't say she knew many 'mutant leaders.' But she knew who the silver haired man standing in front of her was. Magneto. To some, the most dangerous terrorist on the face of the Earth, to others, the savior of the mutant race. To her, he was an unexpected guest who could probably kill the seven highly-trained mercenaries in the room with minimal effort if he so desired. The key was to make sure he had no reason to do so.

Magneto surveyed the room slowly. "I see you have some new members," he said in a clear, sophisticated voice that was more resounding than it was loud. His voice seemed to snap some of the senior members of Carnifex out of their shock.

Domino gestured to the newer members, "This is Cargill, this is Gambit, and this is Rogue."

Magneto raised an eyebrow in contemplation, "They're rather young. Especially her," he nodded at Rogue.

"Is everyone Ah meet going to comment on how damn young Ah am?" She muttered to herself while staring at the ceiling. She refocused on him and her eyes widened realizing he had heard her.

He gave her an enigmatic smile, then refocused his gaze on Domino and Colossus. "I wish to speak to you on a matter of some delicacy."

"Of course," replied Piotr respectfully, "please come this way," he motioned to the stairs leading to the basement. Domino walked down first, followed by Magneto, followed by Colossus. The rest of the mercenaries remained motionless and silent until they heard the downstairs security door lock.

"What was that about?" Asked Cargill.

"Magneto has only come to us twice before. Both times they were dangerous assignments. Caliban is worried."

"Like we have any chance but to accept the job he offers." Avalanche said angrily.

Remy turned to Rogue, "What should we do now?" he asked her.

"All Ah know is Ah'm never going ta see the end of that movie."

They all sat down at the dining room table and waited in silence to see what the most dangerous mutant on the planet demanded of them.

* * *

Huh, my chapters are getting longer and longer. Maybe I should have broken it up, but I wanted all this stuff to happen around the same time. Now I _think _I've introduced all the main characters in our little drama, but what to do with them now? *chuckles evilly* But seriously folks, go check out Jean Cocteau's 1946 film "Le Belle et la Bête," it is one of the most visually stunning films you'll ever come across.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7:** **Dress Me When I Bleed**

**Disclaimer:** I don't claim to own any of these characters, yadda, yadda, yadda.

**A/N: **Two chapters in as many days? Go me! Sorry, no Romy cuteness in this chapter, but we got a dangerous mission, some insight into Rogue's powers, and the groundwork for future drama.

* * *

The five members of Carnifex that had not been invited to parlay with Magneto sat around the dining room table in virtual silence. Avalanche and Caliban had explained to the junior members that the only time Magneto would demean himself enough to hire mercenaries was when he had a mission both dangerous and secretive enough to be beyond the realm of his own minions, his "Acolytes." Rogue saw a dread in both of their faces unlike anything she had seen in either of them before. She wanted to ask if any members of Carnifex, past or present, had been seriously injured in either of the past two assignments from Magneto, but she didn't bother. She knew that they would not have been this worried if a member had not been seriously injured, or even killed, by one of his missions.

About an hour into their individual introspections, they were jolted to attention by the sound of the basement door opening. They jumped up and watched as Magneto climbed the stairs behind Colossus. The silver haired mutant gave them a nod which they all returned and he exited through the now-broken security door. Colossus motioned that they should go downstairs, and they filled down as silently as a funeral procession. They crowed into the office in the basement, which was soundproof, bullet-proof, and made the security of most bank vaults look like piggy banks. "I'll cut to the chase," said Domino, more frazzled than Rogue had ever heard her, "Magneto has hired us to break some mutants out of a high security holding facility."

"Fuck."

"Hell no!"

"Merde."

"Well, it seems we're all agreed on that," continued Domino, seeming rather relieved that she was not the only one rattled by Magneto's orders. "But the pay is **incredible**, and I'm not suicidal enough to say no to him. Are any of you?" The mercenaries all shook their heads.

"Ah don't understand why he ain't doing it himself. Ain't Magneto's thing helping mutants?"

"Apparently he doesn't want his fingerprints on this one."

"Do we know why?"

"I can only guess," but Domino didn't seem interested in sharing her hypothesis. She looked around at her teammates and finally said with wavering certainty, "He doesn't want us dead, you know. He wouldn't have given us this job if he didn't think we could do it."

"Da. But I am worried, Domino. He knew far too much about us."

"I know."

"What the hell are ya talking about?" Demanded Avalanche.

Domino and Colossus traded glances. Piotr took a breath, and with his usual calm demeanor said, "We have been without a telepath for over a year, but he knew we could gain information from a person's mind." Rogue gasped, causing Gambit, Caliban, Avalanche, and Cargill stare at her, not understanding the problem.

"He knew about me, is that what you're saying?" She looked at Colossus then Domino. A look of understanding finally took hold of the other member's faces. Without waiting for their response, she hit the wall hard with her fist and shouted "Shit!"

"So we have a security breach, that's what you're saying?" asked Cargill.

"Could it have been Mystique?" Asked Rogue.

Domino scoffed, "No, she and Magneto loath one another."

"Den its inside," Remy muttered impassively.

"We can't focus on that now, we have only three days to accomplish our mission."

"How are we going to ignore having a traitor in our ranks?" Asked Caliban angrily. Rogue was taken aback, she'd never seen Caliban get angry. Even the time he got shot he was just frustrated, blaming his own incompetence and not lashing out at others.

"We must complete the mission first," Colossus re-affirmed, "then we will deal with any other threat."

Everyone begrudgingly nodded. Domino turned to Rogue, "As I said, you're key to this mission. I hate to force you here, but we have no choice. We need to test your powers."

"What? On who?" Rogue was starting to panic. Domino looked around, waiting for volunteers. No one stepped forward. Finally, Piotr said "I will do it." Rogue looked up at her hulking Russian friend and gave a thankful smile.

"Okay, no time like the present," said Domino, "let's get out to the training area." They marched out of the reinforced room and into the training room, which was covered in mats. "Here's the deal Rogue, you're going to very lightly and very briefly touch Piotr and try and get some information from him." Domino then came up and whispered in her ear, "Get his social security number. I know what it is, if you can get it, this plan will work." She then stood back, "Understand?" Rogue nodded.

Piotr stepped forward, stopping about a foot from Rogue, and held out his palm. She contemplated it, '_Okay, super fast, try and draw out the information, try to remember what it feels like so you can tell Mystique later_.' She gazed back up at the gentle giant, and whispered, "I'm sorry," before running her index finger lightly over the palm of his hand. She stopped the instant she felt a pull and her gaze snapped back up at his face. He looked a little unsteady, but he was still conscious.

"Pete, are ya okay, sugah?"

"Da. Just a bit light-headed."

"Did you get the information?" Yelled Domino. A couple of numbers swirled in her head, but they were jumbled, she knew she didn't get it. "Sorry, Ah didn't get quite enough off a' him."

"Try it again."

This time, Rogue placed three fingertips on his hand and waited until the correct numbers appeared in her mind, then quickly lifted her hand away from his. It was a second too late and Piotr slowly but surely sank to the floor. Caliban ran over and checked on his condition, confirming, "He's fine."

Domino rushed over and Rogue whispered Piotr's social security number into her ear. Domino stepped back with a wide grin on her face. "It'll work," she said, hardly containing her relief and enthusiasm.

Colossus' mind now swirled in hers and almost voluntarily silenced itself. '_Even when you're an echo of yourself, you're still the sweetest, most polite man Ah ever met,_' she chided him. But something was different, something she could not explain. She felt itchy, like there was something under her skin, trying to get out. "Guys, something's wrong," she said in a shaky voice.

Remy moved towards her, "Chere? What is it?"

She held her arm out to shoo him away, but the arm in front of her was not her own, at least not entirely her own. It was armor platted, just like Colossus's when he transformed. She could feel it take a hold of her, her skin transformed into metal, which weighed heavily upon her. She looked down at her fingers, moving them, shocked at her transformation. Looking at her teammates she realized that she was not the only one amazed by this new facet of her powers.

"Well that's handy," Dominic said laconically.

"Ah can take mutations too? Shit." Rogue was still coming to grips with the situation, and while she heard the other mercenaries as they started to trade theories and make pithy comments, she couldn't focus on any of them. Her stomach was in knots as she looked down at her unconscious friend, still being monitored by Caliban. She feared that she had taken too much, that he wouldn't wake up, or that she had permanently stolen his mutation from him.

"Did you hear me, Rogue?" Domino yelled at her.

"Sorry, what?"

"Try and deactivate your, er, Piotr's mutation."

Rogue closed her eyes and tried to ease the metal back into her body. Colossus's voice was telling her how to do it, and when she reopened her eyes, she was flesh and blood again. Just to test herself, she armored and de-armored again, smiling in delight. '_Well at least that's one mutation Ah can control_.' Domino suggested that she armor up to see how long it would last. She then took a seat on the floor next to Piotr and watched him intently. About thirty minutes after she absorbed him, the metal slowly retreated from her skin, and try as she could, she couldn't call it back. A couple minutes after that, Colossus regained consciousness, and when asked, he could become armor plated. She apologized profusely for hurting him, tears welling in her eyes, promising to never go into his memories.

"It is okay, Rogue. You are my friend, there is nothing there that I would want to keep from you."

She very carefully hugged him, thankful that he didn't pull away.

* * *

They had trained for two days straight, planned out every contingency, but the members of Carnifex were all so anxious that they barely spoke during the three hour charter airplane flight that took them to their mission. The subsequent drive and walk to their target was so tense that Rogue was sure that she would be sick. The paramilitary base that was holding several mutants captive was not strictly a government facility, but it had all the hallmarks of one: watchtowers, armed guards, tall fences, and search lights. There was no possibility of entering the facility covertly.

Cargill radioing Magneto that they were at the base was the first noise to come out of any of their mouths in over an hour. "Ready?" Asked Domino, and they all nodded. They split up, Avalanche with Colossus, Cargill with Caliban, Rogue joining Domino and Gambit. Rogue's group inched stealthily to the Southern corner of the base and waited. From the Eastern side of the base a tremor shook and the guards started to mobilize, many of them rushing to the source of the earthquake. Gambit pulled out his cards and Domino pulled out her gun, which she had promised Rogue to be non-lethal "in most situations." After a silent countdown, they fired their weapons of choice at the remaining guards, who were taken out in seconds. Gambit sprang forward with tremendous speed, Rogue close behind, Domino trailing and keeping an eye out for any advancing troops. Gambit charged the chain-link fence, blowing a large hole it, which the team ran through.

With Gambit in front and Domino bringing up the rear, they raced into the building and through the maze of hallways. Gambit blew open a locked door and rushed in to find two terrified looking middle-aged men in lab coats. Rogue took of her glove and grabbed the face of one, then the other, letting them both fall to the floor. She grabbed her radio and shouted a twelve digit code to her cohorts. She glanced at Domino, who gave her a knowing nod, then said, "They're where he said they'd be, but Ah know a shortcut that ain't on the blueprints."

"Lead de way, petit."

Gambit at her side, they ran down a few more corridors, and nodded at Remy when they got to their destination. He changed a few cards and flung them at the door, weakening it enough for him to kick it down. Through the door was a dimly lit hallway with several thick doors without handles on either side. A keypad was attached to each door. Rogue ran to the first one and started typing in digits, as her teammates did the same. Rogue glanced at her friends and yelled "Gambit, the second code on that one is Michael7; Domino, yours in Think Tank." After going through all the protocols that deactivated the extensive security system that was meant to disable as well as incarcerate the captive mutants, the doors opened. Rogue didn't wait around to see who popped out, there were still five more cells to open. Once she had opened the last cell ("Arctic65") she surveyed the mutants who were now gathering in the hallway.

"Let's go!" Cried Caliban as he burst in, only to be in the cross-hairs of Domino's weapon. She quickly raised her weapon and yelled at the mutants to follow Caliban. Rogue realized that the last mutant was not out of his cell yet, so she grabbed him by the hand and yanked him out. She started running, still holding him by his arm.

"You can let go, you know," the mutant said in a far too flippant tone for the situation. She glanced back at him and saw that it was a blond-haired boy only a year or two older than herself. For whatever reason, he seemed composed and almost excited. Rogue's attention was drawn to the corridor ahead of her, as some soldiers were barreling down on her comrades at the juncture of two hallways. Gambit was taking a few of them out, but they kept coming. One of the freed mutants had brought up some sort of shield to protect them from the bullets that barraged them, but it was failing quickly. The calm mutant boy beside her suddenly stopped and raised his hand, from which came a spray of ice that clung to the guards' guns, rendering them useless. Caliban, Domino, and Gambit used the opportunity to beat them senseless while Rogue led the other mutants out of the building, where the other members of Carnifex had commandeered three large SUVs.

The mutants piled in, but Rogue waited until the other members of the team came into view until she climbed into the front seat of Cargill's vehicle. As soon as Rogue closed the door Cargill sped off, and yelled, "Rogue, call it in." She nodded and grabbed the radio, and reported "Mission accomplished, all mutants found and recovered. Do you copy?" The radio crackled back an affirmative and Rogue sighed in relief, suddenly realizing how fast her heart was beating.

They still had an hour's drive to the drop off point, so Rogue turned around to address the three escaped mutants that were in their SUV. She quickly noticed that the blond-haired boy was one of them. He smiled at her as she started to speak. "Are ya'll okay? Do any of you need medical treatment?" The bronze-skinned woman and the vaguely pinkish man with large boils on him both quietly replied in the negative, but the blond boy said nothing. She glared right at him, "What about you?"

"I'm fine, thanks for asking. How's your day been?" His demeanor and voice were both so nonchalant that it infuriated Rogue. '_Didn't this guy realize that he'd been in mortal peril? Didn't he understand that we just risked our hides saving his sorry neck?_'

"Ah'm Jim-Dandy, sugah. Nothing better ta cap off a day than ta break into a high security holding facility and be shot at, Ah always say."

He grinned at her, "All in a day's work, right?"

Her eyes narrowed, "An' what kind of work is that?"

"Being a hero."

Rogue looked stunned and turned to look at Cargill, who had a slightly disgusted look on her face. She certainly took the word "hero" as an insult. She turned back to the boy, who looked at her with knowing eyes. "Ah ain't a hero," she said softly.

The smug, taunting look faded from his face. "Saving people you don't know at the risk of your own life. Sounds like a hero to me." They gazed at each other for a few minutes, he with a confident yet grateful look on his face, her with a sad and contemplative gaze. It had never occurred to her that what she did could be considered heroic. She had done it out of fear of Magneto's retribution, out of loyalty to her roommates, and to a much smaller degree, for some financial security. It was the last rational that really hurt her, the idea that she would hurt people for money. Piotr's voice intruded for the first time since she absorbed him, '_Your reasons for helping them may not have been pure, but you have helped them nonetheless. Be proud, my friend_.'

She turned away from the boy and focused on the landscape that was rushing past her, hoping that Cargill wouldn't see the tears in her eyes. The rest of the ride to the pick-up point was silent, and she was glad when she saw Avalanche's vehicle parked in a clearing ahead of her. She got out and opened the door for the other mutants as Colossus drove up. The three mutants got out, the blond boy lastly. He stretched and yawned as he got out, and Rogue had the overwhelming urge to punch him. He looked at her and smiled. "My name's Bobby," he said as he held out his hand.

Rogue looked at his hand suspiciously and grudgingly gave his hand a quick shake, "Rogue." She turned back to the congregation of mutants that was flanked by the three stolen vehicles, expecting Bobby to join them. Instead, he kept looking at her. She grew impatient and growled, "What?"

"Just wondering what you were doing with these people."

"What do ya mean by 'these people'?"

He suddenly looked sheepish, and muttered, "never mind," and started walking away. When he was about halfway to the group of rescued mutants, he turned around and walked back a couple of steps towards her. "Hey, if you ever want something different for yourself, you can always call me. We're in the book: The Xavier Institute in Westchester County, New York." He smiled and walked to where the others were. She stood there stunned, not understanding what he was saying or what he was offering.

"Let's move out!" yelled Domino and the other members of Carnifex moved towards the SUV that Rogue was standing next to. They got in, and Rogue followed, sitting next to Remy.

"Ain't we going ta give them a lift back ta civilization?"

"Already taken care of," said Cargill, starting the engine. She idled the vehicle and appeared to be waiting for something.

"They're coming," said Caliban, and Cargill took off. Soon Rogue heard the sound of a low flying jet overhead, and realized that it was heading to the clearing.

"A jet? Magneto has a jet?"

"That ain't Magneto's."

"Then whose is it?"

Domino shrugged and muttered, "Ours is not to reason why, ours is to do and die." They continued in silence back to their home on West 122nd Street.

* * *

**Another day, another mission. That's the life of a mercenary, huh? Tune in next time for some down-time with our favorite mutant mercenaries. Again, I'd like to thank everyone who's reviewed and subscribed, it really encourages me to write more. A special big thanks to my number one cheer-leader, tenchi13.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8:** **Time to Be Alive**

**Disclaimer: **All these characters belong to Marvel, I claim no ownership and am making exactly $0.00 off of them.

**A/N: **Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, everyone! Please keep them coming.

* * *

The mercenaries arrived back home well past midnight, exhausted, but with nothing worse than cuts and bruises for injuries. It was standard procedure to debrief immediately after missions, but Domino yelled, as they dragged themselves through the now repaired front door, "No debriefing tonight," which was met with thankful sighs. She continued, "We'll do it at 0700 tomorrow," which was met with groans and a lightly charged playing card being thrown at her head.

Morning came all too soon, and with seven people sharing two bathrooms, the mercenaries were not only tired and irritable, but many of them were also quite smelly when they met in the basement office. Most of them were sipping coffee, including Rogue, who was on her third cup.

"Ya should cut down dere, chere. Coffee ain't good for a growin' girl."

"What!? You grew up in New Orleans. You were probably bottle-fed on that nasty chicory coffee. Didn't do you any harm, did it, swamp rat?"

"Aw, but petit, us swamp rats are a bit differen' den you river rats."

"It that something like the country mouse and city mouse?" asked a blurry-eyed Cargill.

"Okay, enough chatter," said Domino. The other mercenaries all glared at her, resenting the hell out of being woken so early after a mission. She wisely ceded the floor to Colossus.

"To state the obvious, we did well. Despite being outnumbered ten to one, none of our ranks were injured, the same goes for the mutants that we liberated."

"Go team," Avalanche said lazily, while simultaneously yawning.

"Any chance we can get some answers now?" Asked Cargill.

"Like what?"

"How about why were sent there instead of Magneto going in himself?"

"Because of the X-Men," said Caliban quietly. All eyes turned to him.

Rogue was completely lost. "What are ya talking about, sugah?"

Colossus looked up, as if suddenly realizing something, "The jet. It was the Blackbird, wasn't it?"

Caliban nodded, "Yes, it was them."

"Why were the X-men there?"

"I have a bad feeling about this."

"Thanks for that, Obi-Wan."

"This doesn't add up. . ."

"Hold it ya'll, who the hell are the X-Men?" Everyone turned to look at Rogue.

"Ya don' know? Surely we've mentioned dem."

Rogue shook her head, "No, Ah mean Ah know Ah know the name, but Ah can't place it."

"They're the mutant version of Avengers," Avalanche said dismissively, "You have heard of them right?"

"Of course," she spat back.

"Goddamn goody-two shoes who think their shit don't stink. Spend their time defending humans from the 'bad' mutants," Dominic muttered.

Suddenly it clicked in her mind. "Oh, Ah get it. They don't get along with Magneto, now do they? An' he couldn't go in an' rescue one of their guys without it raising serious suspicion."

"Wait? One of the X-Men was amongst the prisoners?" Domino demanded.

"Yea. That Bobby guy that shot ice at the guards." Domino still looked confused. "He was way too composed not ta have been in battle before. 'Sides, he mentioned where Ah could reach him. A place called Xavier's. Xavier . . . X-Men, right?" She turned to Piotr and winked at him, "That connection was all you, Pete," and she pointed at her head.

Domino was still looking at her incredulously, "Why did he mention Xavier's to you?"

"Well, uh . . ." Rogue trailed off. '_Crap, there is no right way to say, this is there_?' She bit her lip nervously and said, "Well, he kinda invited me to join them there."

Rogue jumped at least a foot at the simultaneous yells of all her teammates, "WHAT?!"

"He tried to recruit you?"

"Not exactly—"

"What did you tell him about us?"

"Nothin'."

"Are you sure?"

"Ah told him ma name was Rogue. But Cargill had already called me that in his presence."

"Does he know what your powers are?"

"How would he, Ah used them only before we rescued him. That's how we rescued them, if ya'll remember."

Colossus, always the voice of reason, finally spoke up, "You did a good job, Rogue. You gave away no important information, and your professionalism was impeccable."

Rogue smiled at her friend, happy that someone was impressed with her actions on the mission.

"Oui. Ya did bon, petit. Quick an' efficient, jus' like I taught you, eh?"

"You did good, Rogue. Real good," Domino said with a sigh, "Sorry, but this X-Men thing is a little unnerving."

"So we got X-Men sniffing around our youngest member and someone's given information about her to Magneto, too," Avalanche ruminated.

'_Shit, almost forgot that we have a traitor in our midst. Or semi-traitor. Informer. Whatever_.' Rogue glanced at Colossus briefly and then determined to at least clear his name. She knew he wouldn't have told Magneto about her, but she wanted to be honest about her next statement. She quickly called up Colossus's memories, searching through them for any interaction with Magneto. Beyond the time they met a couple of days ago, and the last mission that he had assigned Carnifex, the two had never communicated. "Ah don't know how ya'll want to go about figuring out who told Magneto about me, but Ah can tell ya that Ah know for a certain that it wasn't Piotr. Ah hope ya don't mind, Pete, but Ah quickly checked your memories ta see if you'd spoken to him 'bout anything other than the missions, and ya didn't."

"An' we know you didn' do it, petit, 'cause Mags knowin' 'bout ya don' help you at all."

"So we put Colossus in charge of the investigation."

"Agreed," and they all nodded.

"Great. Now can I go back to bed?" Yelled Avalanche, already walking out of the door.

* * *

Rogue had some spare time on her hands soon after Magneto's mission. She grabbed her laptop and went to a local cafe and ordered tea and a scone. She attributed her need for such fare to the British scientist that she had absorbed during the mission. The two new scientists that crowded her mind had been otherwise unobtrusive so far. Every successive person she absorbed seemed to have less and less an effect on her. She didn't know if it was because she was controlling her powers better, if it had to do with the personalities of the people she absorbed, or if it was just one of the quirks of her power. '_Yet another thing Ah have to discuss with Mystique when she comes round to help me with ma powers_.'

Her teammates' reactions to their unwitting dalliance with the X-Men made her curious. She pulled up news stories about the X-Men, most of which were ambiguous, at best. They seemed to keep out of the limelight, their policy never publically stated, and their existence not officially recognized. She found reports here and there of them saving some unwitting fool who got in the way of another mutant, or them battling someone like her sometimes-employers Magneto and Mystique. '_Crap, Ah didn't even know that battle-lines had already been drawn, and apparently they're ma enemies_,' she thought bitterly. '_Bobby was a bit cocky, but he sure didn't seem like an enemy to me.'_ She then checked out the Xavier Institute, the public face of the X-Men. The Institute was supposed to be a haven for mutants, a place where they could be safe and learn to use their powers.

'_For some reason this Xavier guy is willing to spend his entire fortune to help out mutants that he never met before. What's his deal? Piotr_?'

'_He is possibly the most powerful telepath in the world. He wants peace between humans and mutants. We know little else_.'

'_That explains it, sorta_,' she clicked on Xavier's image to get a better look at him and stared at the bald man with the bright eyes. He looked the fatherly sort, '_well not my father, but how a father should be_.' She looked at the picture of the wise old patriarch and Bobby's voice echoed in her head, "if you ever want something different for yourself . . ." But she didn't, at least not now. She saw the conviction in this man's eyes, he thought he knew right from wrong, what the best path was. She wasn't sure what she believed yet. She'd spent so much time keeping the other voices in her head from taking over, from influencing her ideas and beliefs, she wasn't going to throw it all away. She was going to make her own decisions, even though it meant rejecting a safer, more settled existence, like the one she could have at the Xavier Institute.

In the back of her head, Cody quietly pleaded, '_Ah think you could be a kid again if ya go there. Don't ya want a chance to grow up right? Ta be a kid for a bit longer?_'

Anna smiled warmly at her old friend's voice, but her smile turned sour realizing what she was about to say might silence him forever. '_Ah ain't a kid anymore, Cody. Haven't been since Ah kissed ya. Haven't been since Ah had to survive on the streets. Haven't been since Ah became a mercenary. Sometimes Ah wish Ah could go back, but that's just denying who Ah am. Right now, Ah'm exactly where Ah need to be._'

* * *

After a couple of weeks of inquiries, Colossus admitted that he had hit a brick wall in investigating the information leaked to Magneto about Rogue. Until the time when they could enlist to services of a telepath, they decided to let sleeping dogs lie. Rogue was a little unnerved about the mutant terrorist knowing about her powers, but she knew there was nothing she could do about it and couldn't figure out how Magneto's knowledge of her would put her in any danger. She was more concerned about the strain that it put on the group. They depended on each other for their lives, and the slightest hesitation, just a tiny bit of mistrust, and the results could be fatal. Her solution was to simply treat everyone as she did before, and hoped the others would follow her example.

Treating everyone like she did before did not mean that she was going to buddy up to all of them. Of her six teammates, only two really felt like good friends to her: Remy and Piotr. The three of them would often spend their rare off hours together, watching television or wandering around some random part of Manhattan. And so for Remy's eighteenth birthday, she suggested that the three of them go to Coney Island for the day.

It was a warm Spring day as the three friends made their way through the amusement park. They rode rollercoasters and thrill rides for the better part of three hours and then took a spin on the Ferris Wheel. As she rode the wheel, sitting between her two best friends, Rogue surveyed the seaside amusement park and all the happy families that were spending 'quality time' together. She felt a tinge of sadness, knowing that her own family had been torn asunder, but looked at Remy and Piotr and the sadness dissipated. She had a new family now, just as dysfunctional as any out there, but also the most accepting one imaginable.

"You look a little sick, comrade," Pitor commented. Rogue noted that Gambit was turning ever so slightly green.

"Jez, Remy, can't deal with the Ferris Wheel? Ah've seen ya do spin kicks that were more thrilling."

"It de backwards an' up t'ing, makes me a little nauseous sometimes." Piotr smiled politely while Rogue started chuckling. "What so damn funny, Rogue? Dere must be somt'ing dat you ain't so fond of."

"Plenty. But Ah ain't sickened by no Ferris Wheel." He glared at her, but the slight smile that graced his lips told her that he wasn't really mad, just lacking a witting or flirty response.

They wandered through the park, Remy's nausea quickly dissipating. Colossus stopped and looked at one of the carnival games, seemingly intent on giving it a try.

"It's rigged, mon ami."

Piotr ignored him and walked over to the game. Rogue and Remy stood back and watched as he repeatedly missed throwing the basketball into the hoop.

"Dat man don' listen."

"Ah think he just likes to think the best of everybody an' everything, so he may not always see trouble when it's staring him in the face."

"An' you t'ink you do?"

"Yea. Right now, trouble's standing 'bout one foot to ma right."

Remy laughed heartily, "Don't know how right you are, petit."

She watched him laugh, smiling at seeing him in a rare unguarded state. By now she knew that most of the times when he was seemingly at ease and dripping with charm, he was simply putting up a front. She liked him then, but she liked him best when he was truly being himself, all heartfelt emotion and no pretense. He turned to her as his laughter died down and silently took her gloved hand in his.

She glanced down at their interwoven hands, "Remy, did ya start wearing gloves on a regular basis because of me?"

He blushed a little, "Yea, chere."

"Why? Not that Ah don't appreciate it an' all."

"Everyone has times when dey need someone ta hold dere hand or give dem a hug or somet'ing. Don't want you to be denied dat just 'cause you can't touch dere skin."

She squeezed his hand tight, and he returned the gesture. They watched their friend waste $20 attempting to throw basketballs into a too small hoop, silently reveling in their understanding and affection for one another. Piotr finally threw up his hands and walked defeated back to them. Remy winked at her, and smugly said, "'scuse me, chere, Remy off ta win you somet'ing." He let go of her hand and walked over to the game, managing to sink all three basketballs on the first attempt.

"I thought you said it was rigged," Pitor said bitterly.

"It is," he smiled haughtily. "Which one do ya want, chere?"

Rogue looked at the rows of toys and pointed to a large stuffed purple dragon. The carnies gave it to Remy, who presented it to Rogue with a little bow, to which she rolled her eyes. Remy then set off, strutting towards the concession stands, with Rogue and Colossus following a step behind. "Here," Rogue held out the stuffed dragon to Piotr, "it's yours, ya certainly spent enough money on that game to deserve it." He shook his head, refusing. "How 'bout you send it to your sister, Ah'm sure she'd like it."

He almost fell over his own feet and looked at her aghast, "You know about Illyana?" he asked softly.

"Shit, Ah'm sorry Pete. Ah really didn't mean anything by it, it's just that the you in ma head talked about her. Ah promise not ta bring it up again, Ah know how you don't want to involve your family in Carnifex in any way."

"It is alright Rogue. I am the one to blame, sometimes I forget that you know everything that there is to know about me. I am grateful that someone else knows about them, about why I do what I do. And you are right, Illyana would love it." Rogue once again held out the toy to Piotr, and this time he took it with a grateful smile.

* * *

The subway ride back was packed. Piotr managed to get himself almost immediately separated from Rogue and Remy, while the two Southerners stood in the middle of the isle. Rogue was always nervous when she was on crowded public transit, even when she was well covered, as she was then. As people jostled her at every stop, Remy grabbed her waist and held her close, keeping vigilant to safeguard anyone from Rogue's skin, and vice versa. She leaned into him, basking in his warmth.

His subtle scent and unflinching closeness cast a spell on her. She tried to stop the question from tumbling out her mouth, but something pushed it forward. "Remy, if things were different, if Ah could touch people, would ya . . . you know . . . wanted to have been ma boyfriend?" She gulped in anticipation of his response.

He looked down at her warmly, taking in her delicate features and emerald eyes. "Chere, I've used dat word to describe lots of women, none of dem has meant much ta me. Definitely not anyt'ing close ta what I feel for you."

She smirked, "So that's a 'no,' Ah take it," attempting to laugh off the rejection.

His look remained tender, "You my girl, Rogue. In my heart, dere's just you."

She looked up at him, overcome with emotion, trying her best to objectively deal with the situation. His face was as honest as it ever could be, but she knew that he had phrased his response in that way for a reason. "So, Ah'm in your heart, but you're always in someone else's' bed," she said with as little recrimination as possible.

His face fell, but he held her gaze, "I'm sorry 'bout dat, ma cherie. But dat's how it has to be," he gently brought her closer to her and kissed the top of her head, "for now," she heard him whisper.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: The Day's Not Done**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this stuff, don't sue me.

**A/N:** Sorry about the delay, folks. Between the big jump in the number of hours I'm working, the awesomeness that is Halloween, and the excitement of the World Series (I'm a San Francisco girl, born and bred) I haven't had the energy to write. On the plus side, the next couple of chapters should be done shortly, since I'm super jazzed about them.

* * *

Rogue managed to delay meeting with Mystique for some weeks. She knew that the shape-shifter was the person most likely to help her in controlling her powers, but that didn't mean she could be trusted. Domino never did reveal to Rogue what Mystique's compensation would be if she succeeded, just that whatever the blue mutant would get was contingent on Rogue actually being able to control her powers to the point where she could touch someone without harming them. '_Domino's no fool, she knows what Mystique is really after, and it ain't got anything to do with helpin' me ta have a normal life_.'

After the experiment on Colossus, Rogue realized that she had a lot of the answers that both she and Mystique were looking for. With some gentle prodding by Piotr (both the real-life version and the in-her-head version) she contacted the shape shifter and planned a meeting. Like last time, the Carnifex crew was nearby and the meeting took place on her home turf, more specifically, her living room.

When Mystique arrived, she dispensed with the pleasantries and simply asked Rogue, "Have you learned anything new, or have you called me over to waste my time?"

"Ah told you on the phone, Mystique, Ah've absorbed a couple of new people since we last met. Ah kept mental notes. Ah got more to work with now. And thanks for asking, Ah'm doing fine. How 'bout you?"

"I have better things to do than trade petty jabs with a pre-teen. My time is worth something even if yours isn't, so let's get to work, shall we?" She curled her lips into a contemptuous smile. "First off, were any mutants amongst those that you have recently absorbed?"

_'Wow, not hiding what you're really after, are ya?'_ Rogue struggled to keep her eyes from rolling and simply replied, "Yea, Colossus."

Mystique's belligerent attitude suddenly faded and she acted politely interested. "What happened when you absorbed him?"

"The normal deal, he passed out, Ah got his voice in ma head."

Mystique looked warily at her, "Is that all?"

"Yea," She was silently thankful that her training had included various elements of 'stealth surveillance and information manipulation,' a.k.a. learning to lie convincingly. She wasn't sure if Mystique completely believed her, and Rogue could tell that she wanted to ask about absorbing Colossus' powers, but she stayed mute. Rogue had previously decided that she couldn't let Mystique find out that she could steal the powers of mutants, albeit temporarily. '_Knowledge is power, and that is far too much power to be givin' anyone Ah don't trust. An Ah trust Smurfette about as far as Ah can throw her.'_

"Very well," Mystique finally said.

Their meeting was otherwise unremarkable. Rogue explained that she felt a tugging sensation when she absorbed someone, that a person's memories lasted a few weeks then faded, and how their personality faded over time but could be brought to the forefront at any time. Mystique suggested that she practice on Colossus, since he was already in her mind and would not crowd it further. She gave several strategies on stemming the drain on his psyche, none of which sounded terribly promising to Rogue. But she graciously accepted the woman's help, knowing that she had more knowledge in this area than any of her friends.

Over the following months, Colossus was more than willing to help Rogue experiment with her powers. She tried everything that Mystique had suggested – attempting to reverse the flow, focusing on the sensation of touch itself, fighting against the new consciousness – and they all failed. Everyone, including Piotr, encouraged her to keep trying, to keep practicing. And while she was getting better at dealing with the power and information that she received when she absorbed someone, she could not seem to even slow her power's drain on a person. She was slowly losing hope of ever being able to touch another person, consequence free, again.

While Rogue may not have improving in controlling her powers, she was constantly improving in almost every other area that she put her mind to. She was becoming stronger, faster, smarter, more agile, and more inventive. As Domino put it after one particularly grueling workout, she was becoming "one damn good merc." She went on almost every mission now, and she was certainly pulling her own weight. The only missions she was not included in were the 'special assignments' that Domino or Cargill tended to do alone. While she never asked and she was never told, she knew that 'special assignment' was just code for assassination. She could never quiet wrap her head around that. On a theoretic level, she knew that sometimes killing was necessary, even a blessing in disguise. On a practical level, the idea of taking someone's life, _anyone's life_, was beyond her. She hated stealing a few hours or a few days from someone when she knocked them out with her mutation. The thought of taking an entire lifetime from a person twisted her stomach into knots.

"Dey ain't gonna ask you ta do it."

"Ah know." Rogue berated herself for bringing up the subject, but Cargill had been away for two days on assignment, and she couldn't help but think about it. Even while eating a nice dinner with Remy. "Ah'm sorry, sugah, just ignore me."

"Now chere, why would Remy drag ya out ta dinner just ta' ignore ya?"

She made a low grumbling sound and rolled her eyes, "Ah didn't mean literally, gumbo." Remy snickered into his wine. '_Still don't know how he managed ta convince them ta serve him alcohol_.' She gave out a dramatic sigh and speared a piece of her coq au vin.

Remy set down his wine and smiled over at her, his red eyes twinkling in the candlelight. "Know what day it is, Rogue?"

She swallowed another bite of her overpriced French dinner and smiled back mischievously. "'Course Ah do. Why else would Ah have said 'yes' ta ya taking me out without asking a bunch of questions first?" He continued to gaze at her as she ate. She suddenly felt nervous, felt the proverbial butterflies in her stomach as they ate their meal by the dim candlelight. '_Damn, girl, stop being so conceited and so nervous. He took you out to an incredibly romantic dinner, he's not ambushing you_.' His eyes were still on her, bewitching her, so she kept her eyes on her plate in an attempt to regain her senses. Staring down at the remains of her meal, she bit her lip, and practically whispered, "Remy?"

"Yea, cherie?"

The warmth in his voice made her neck snap up so she could meet his eyes once more. "Thank you –" she suddenly felt out of breath and inhaled shapely, "Thank you for coming up to me that day a year ago, for offering me a place ta stay, a place ta belong. It was the single kindest thing anyone has ever done for me, an' Ah wish Ah could repay ya for that."

"You already have. Best decision dis ol' thief ever made. Got myself a best friend out of it. No one ever cared fo' me the way dat you do, petit." He smiled at her, but not his normal, charming smile. This smile was almost nervous, as if he didn't know if he should be allowing himself this happiness. "Been de best year of Remy's life."

Rogue felt flushed and silently mouthed the words "Thank you," knowing that if she said them out loud that she might cry and ruin her make-up the one time that she had bothered to wear any. They spent a minute to compose themselves under the guise of finishing their meal. Needing some levity, Rogue muttered, "this is one seriously co-dependent relationship."

Remy chuckled, "Piotr makin' ya ready pop psychology books or somet'ing? Didn't t'ink dat would be a part of dat on-line school he signed ya up for." The charming smile was back.

"Ah'm just sayin' that we seem ta need each other a lot. Not really a bad thing in ma book. And Petey-boy wouldn't sign me up for any school where pop psychology was parta the curriculum. Ya know how serious he is 'bout me getting a good education."

Before he could respond, the waiter came and took their dishes away and Remy ordered dessert for both of them. Rogue laughed gently as the waiter walked away. "What, chere?"

"Even with all the French you've been teaching me, Ah still have no idea what ya ordered."

"Ya haven' been paying attention to ol' Remy's lessons, den have ya?"

"Oh, Ah been payin' attention. Ah know 'bout five dozen ways ta tell someone off, Ah know the French names of any object worth stealing, an' Ah know how to conjugate words like 'fight' 'kick' and 'take.' Menu items were not a parta the syllabus."

"Musta missed dat class," he said with mock concern.

"Or maybe that's what tonight is. Yet another French lesson."

He became more serious, "Non, Rogue. Tonight you here wit' me 'cause I wanted ta show you dat I care 'bout you."

"Ah know ya do." She reached out her ivory satin-clad hand across the table. He grabbed her hand with his own leather covered one. They didn't even notice when dessert arrived.

* * *

'_Another day, another mission.'_ Rogue knew that she should never be blasé about a mission. Over-confidence kills. But this was so routine to her now, that she knew a little confidence wouldn't kill her. She leaned against the old dockside warehouse, which was faced with sun-bleached brick and yellow, cracked windows, giving the appearance that it was abandoned. Carnifex knew better. This was the current headquarters of the Massachusetts chapter of Friends of Humanity. '_Mutant hating scum, every one of them,_' she thought bitterly, recalling how the FoH recently torched the home of a mutant and his family while they were sleeping, killing them all. The mutant in question was eleven years old.

"Go on three," crackled Colossus over her earpiece. She scampered silently into position, hiding herself in between a rusting, leaking dumpster, and three large crates. Colossus continued his countdown, and on three, an almost imperceptible scuffle could be heard in the warehouse. She held her position, scanning with both her eyes and ears for the sounds of any reinforcements that may be going to the aid of the FoH within their base. A sulfuric lamp was affixed to the brick edifice; it cast a sickly yellow glow on the alleyway. She watched the light it cast for any new shadows, which would alert her of any movement that she could not hear above the gentle hum of the aforementioned lamp. '_Ya'd think that terrorists would have better security_,' she scoffed to herself, '_proper lightin' is key ta any covert op._'

She glanced around, silently determining how one would alter the building to make it more secure, then thinking of ways to get around the security measures that she had installed in her mind. Training with expert mercenaries had made her enjoy little thought experiments like that. The minutes crept by, and all was silent, both in the warehouse, and in the alleyway where she waited. '_Guess they didn't have any back-up_,' she finally determined. A second later, she heard the distant sound of someone running. She concentrated and attempted to determine which direction the footsteps were coming from. She scrunched her face in concentration, '_Two pairs of footsteps. . . coming towards me . . . must be the reinforcements . . . one set steps is heavy, the other moderate. Crap, they're coming past_.'

Rogue made sure that she was still ensconced in shadows and struck a fighting pose. The moment that the first man came into view, she threw all her weight behind a kick to his knee, sending him hurdling to the ground. She quickly turned to see the second man's eyes dilate at his companion's attacker, but he had too much momentum to stop himself before she struck her elbow into his stomach. He doubled over in pain, and she kicked him in the side of the head. He fell back, cradling his stomach with one hand, and head with the other. The first man had gotten up, but was visibly leaning on one leg.

"Fucking bitch," the big man muttered, grabbing a hunting knife out of his belt.

Rogue gave him her sweetest smile, which further enraged him. He charged at her, knife raised, and slashed wildly when he got in range. She ducked as he swung his knife horizontally though the air, which unbalanced him. His momentary instability was all that Rogue needed. She sprung up from her crouched position, forcing her reinforced wrist up and hitting him square in the jaw. He dropped the knife in pain, which she quickly recovered and buried deep in his left hand. The man fell over, making horrible guttural screams. His hand was bleeding and his jaw probably broken. '_One down. . ._'

Rogue looked other at the second man, who was still on the ground. A small trickle of blood was coming from the side of his head, where she had landed her boot, but he was otherwise still able to fight. Pure hatred radiated out of his eyes and lips were curled as though he was looking at the most revolting thing imaginable. '_Ah'm a little mutant girl who can kick your ass, Ah probably am the most revolting thing imaginable to ya._' She stood her ground, knowing that he was in good enough shape to stand and fight, wondering why he wasn't.

"Filthy mutie," he spat at her, and from nowhere, pulled out a gun.

'_Shit!_' She dove behind the crates as he opened fire at her.

*bang* *bang* *bang*

Through her adrenaline haze she registered two things: he had a revolver and that her leg had been grazed. '_Fucking moron wasted half his bullets blindly shooting_.' She glanced down at her leg, and sure enough her black jeans had been ripped, and a slow steam of blood was oozing from her thigh. '_Take him out, then attend to ma wound_.' She told herself, recalling her lessons. She perked up her ears and realized that the man with the gun was now on his feet, trying to walk undetected to where she was hiding. She silently stood and pressed herself against the crates. The man's shadow appeared against the yellow, sulfuric light, illuminating his outstretched arm, equip with weapon, poised shoot her on sight.

As the gun came into view, she lunged for it, but the man gripped it tight. They struggled over the gun, Rogue being cautious to stay out of the range of the muzzle at all times. The man was at least a foot taller than her and fifty pounds heavy then her, but he was not a trained solider, and she was. Their grappling over the gun had become a stalemate.

*bang* Rogue sucked in her breath and tried to register where the shot had landed. She felt no new sting of pain, and looking into the man's fierce, hate-filled eyes, she knew it had not hit him. Seeing his unremitting rage, she felt a surge of adrenaline, and twisted the gun in the man's hands.

*bang*

She froze. This time she knew exactly where the shot landed. She loosened her grip and looked in horror at the man as he backed away, one hand still clasping his gun, the other now grasping his chest. He backed away till he hit the brick wall behind him and raised the gun at her with shaking, unsteady hands. The hate has now gone from his eyes, replaced by pain, confusion, and sorrow. Even that began to fade as he started to slide down the wall, his eyes glazing over, and the gun falling from his hand. She still could not move.

Rogue couldn't remember what happened next. She saw images, heard sounds, but none of it really registered. She felt as though movie stills had been projected before her, but she didn't understand the plot of the film. Caliban was there, he checked the men's pulses. Domino came running up. They exchanged glances. Remy was pulling her to a parking lot. An explosion behind her. Sirens. Colossus and Cargill, carrying a bloodied and charred body to a Jeep. Hard asphalt. She was in a mini-van, Caliban looking at her bloodied leg. Sting of Bactine. Remy and Domino in the front seat looking panicked. "Where are the others?" No answer. Streetlights flashing by. A small blue cabin. "This will help you sleep." Needle in her veins. A darkened room. Remy cradling her body. Tears on her face. Were they hers? Moonlight through the window. "Ah killed him." Darkness.

* * *

**Please Review! The fall-out from 'the incident,' coming up next. For the record, I've never written action scenes before this fic, so I'm sorry if they aren't very good.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: God is Blind**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own it, I don't pretend to own it, etc.

**A/N: **Although I have this story planned out, I was hoping for some direction from you, gentle readers. Please tell me if there are certain aspects of this story that you want me to focus on, or if you like the balance I have now. I'd really appreciate your opinion.

* * *

Rogue awoke to the sound of voices screaming in her own head. She didn't know if anyone was around, she couldn't even remember where she was – the noise in her head was too loud, too painful for her to even think. She shut her eyes and pressed her hands against her ears, trying to drown them out, forgetting that the sound could never be drowned out, it was a part of her. She couldn't discern most of what was being yelled at her, only one or two words. One word in particular. "Murderer."

'_Stop it_,' she begged of the voices. '_Stop it!_' she tried to command them, tears running down her face. "Stop it!" She screamed, not knowing if she had spoken the words out loud or not.

She held her head, kept her eyes shut tight, and rocked herself on the bed. '_Please, stop.'_

She felt strong hands grasping onto her arms, she was pulled into a warm body, but whose, she didn't know. She thought they may have been speaking, but she couldn't hear anything but the bellowing fragments of the people whose memories she had stolen.

'_Stole much more from that man, didn't you?_' shouted Roger.

'_Second degree murder, for sure_,' commented Officer Kerrigan darkly.

'_How can you live with yourself?_' asked one of the scientists.

'_Thought you didn't want to hurt anyone_.' Ricky the guard said sarcastically.

'_Murdering bitch.'_

_'You're going to get exactly what you deserve.'_

_'You knew that you were going to kill someone eventually.'_

_'Did you enjoy it?'_

_'Can't wait till someone kills you.'_

_'Killer.'_

_'Murderer.'_

_'Killing is all you're good for_.'

'_Do the world a favor and kill yourself_.'

'**_STOP IT!_**' Rogue was surprised that the strong command came not from her, but Piotr. The other voices quieted a bit, but she could still hear them. Colossus' defense of her gave her enough of a reprieve that she started shutting the voices out, one by one, starting with Roger.

'_Like Ah give a shit 'bout what a pedophile thinks about me,_' she yelled at him, shoving him to the back of her mind.

'_And you two so-called 'scientists.' Ya were just waiting ta do the post-mortems on the mutants that had been captured. Your hands are far bloodier than mine_.' She silenced both of them.

'_Ah'm sorry, Officer Kerrigan, but ya have ta go, too._' She was sent to the back of her mind. And so she proceeded to drive all the personalities to the place in her head where they could not longer hurt her with their words. When all the shouting voices were silenced, she felt Pitor's presence voluntarily withdraw itself. She was about ready to rejoin the waking world, find out who was holding her, find out what had happened on the mission, when she realized that there was one voice that had not made a sound.

'_Cody? Sugah, are ya there_?'

She could feel his presence in her mind, it had not been shoved back like the rest. Yet he stayed mute.

'_Cody, please talk ta me_.' His silence was more deafening than the screams of all the others combined. '_Please believe me, Ah didn't mean ta do it. Ah didn't want ta kill him, even if he was a bad guy_.'

She felt his presence slowly recede from the forefront of her mind. His silent recrimination spoke volumes. She let the tears fall for another minute, then pulled herself together.

Slowly opening her eyes, she was greeted by the bright midday sun streaming through the sheer pink curtains. Taking a deep breath in, she looked at the arms wrapped around her and smiled. "Ah'm okay now, Remy."

"Ya sure, chere?" came his soothing voice in a low whisper.

She turned her head and met his concerned eyes. "Yea. Ah got some shit ta work through, but right now Ah want answers."

He nodded almost mournfully and slowly released her from his embrace. She didn't really want him to let go of her – it had felt good, it had felt right – but she knew she had to act like a professional now more than ever.

Remy got off the bed and walked round to face her. "Dey want ta talk ta ya, if you're feelin' up ta it." Rogue nodded. "Okay, den. Let me help ya up."

Her right leg was stiff and unresponsive, and she was grateful for the help as she staggered to the door, using Gambit as a crutch. Caliban, Domino, and Cargill were waiting outside, in the main room of the cabin where they were temporarily staying. Caliban was sitting on a thread-bare grey couch looking contemplative, studying the medical instruments that lay before him on the coffee table. Cargill was pacing with heavy footsteps, and Domino was tapping her finger incessantly on the red Formica dining room table, glaring at Cargill. They all looked up at Rogue as she limped into the room.

Caliban rose and pointed to the carpet in the middle of the room, "Stand there."

Although a little confused by the command, she did as he asked. Once Remy was sure she could stand on her own accord, he walked a few paces back, to where the other members of Carnifex stood.

Caliban put on heavy latex gloves and rolled back Rogue's oversized sweatpants to look at her wound. It had been carefully bandaged, although she couldn't for the life of her remember it being bandaged. She couldn't remember putting on the sweatpants either. '_That should worry me more than it does._' Caliban's nimble fingers peeled back the bandages to reveal a large, bloody mass. The bullet had more than grazed her, it had ripped a couple inches of flesh from her thigh.

"Crap. Ah hadn't realized it was that bad. Why don't it hurt?"

"We gave you a local anesthetic, it should start to throb soon," Domino commented, while Caliban disinfected her wound.

"Great. Something else ta look forward to."

"You need to keep off your feet for a while, otherwise the wound will heal badly," Caliban said, as he finished redressing her wound.

"So sit," Cargill commanded. Rogue grudgingly sat in the old wicker chair that was beside her.

"Where's Pitor? Where's Avalanche?"

"In the hospital," Caliban said softly. "Avalanche got hit by some bizarre weapon that shot electricity. Like an amped up taser. He would have died if Cargill and Colossus had not taken him to the hospital. He's in critical but stable condition."

"We'll bring him home once he's up for the journey. Colossus is there to monitor the situation," confirmed Domino.

"What about the explosion?"

"Had some evidence ta hide, chere. Mission wasn't exactly covert, was it?"

"What happened ta –" Rogue gulped and took a second to make certain that the personalities in her head weren't about to start yelling again, "—ta the men Ah fought?" The silence in the room gave her her answer.

Caliban took a few soft steps and stood by Rogue's side, tentatively placing his hand on her shoulder. "The man that you stabbed was in shock, but alive. Caliban checked. He will live." He gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze, and she looked up into his big, yellow eyes. They were filled with kindness and pity; the first she appreciated, the second she loathed.

She knew the answer, but she had to hear it for herself, "The other man's dead, ain't he?"

Caliban's eyes shifted away from her, "His pulse was very weak. He must have died before they could get him to the hospital."

"Ah killed him," she said meekly.

"Non, cherie –"

"Yes, Remy!" Caliban flinched and took his hand off her shoulder. Rogue barely noticed, staring intently at the Cajun, furious that her friends didn't understand what she had done, what she was going through. "We fought, he died. Pretty obvious what happened!"

"Why don't you tell us what happened?" asked Cargill in a far calmer voice than Rogue had ever thought she was capable of.

Rogue shot her a dirty look, but surprisingly, it was not returned. Then it hit her, probably everyone in this room had gone through what she was now going through. It was hard to stay angry at them when all they had was empathy for her. "It was an accident," her voice quivered as she looked at them with tear drenched eyes, "Ah had already taken the other guy down an' the second one had a gun. We grappled, Ah twisted the muzzle toward him, it went off. Ah swear Ah don't remember firing it. But Ah might have done it. Or he might of. Either way, Ah should have just dropped him with ma powers, not got inta a struggle." She lowered her gaze, unable to look at any of them anymore. "Ah fucked up. Ah'm sorry. Ah'm so sorry."

Rogue heard Remy's familiar footsteps. He came up to her and cradled her head with his hand, leaning his head on top of her's. "I know it hurts, petit," he said gently.

"Do you?" She whispered, knowing it was a loaded question.

He hesitated.

"Oui, Rogue. I do."

* * *

**Up next time, Rogue has a bad conversation with a good guy and a good conversation with a bad guy. Reviews, pretty please. Also, I'm going to start responding to review starting with the next chapter.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: Scars**

**Disclaimer: **This is a disclaimer about how I hate doing these disclaimers. You know I don't own this stuff, I know that I don't own it, and I really don't want to keep saying it every chapter. So I won't.

**A/N: **Yikes, I ask for reviews and opinions and my response is . . . *crickets chruping.* I'm guessing that you guys didn't like that last chapter. Oh well, it wasn't my favorite either. For whatever reason, I really enjoyed writing **this** chapter, so I hope that you all enjoy reading it.

"Sometimes things change so slowly that ya don't even notice when they're completely different than they used ta be."

"What does that mean?"

"Ah think ya know, Piotr."

Colossus looked soulfully at Rogue, whose eyes were rapidly filling with tears.

"We should not have attempted this so soon after the incident."

"Don't call it an 'incident,' Pete, that demeans everyone. Ah killed someone, Avalanche almost died, and you . . ."

"I was unharmed, Rogue."

"Physically, yeah. Terribly useful that armor plating of yours. Don't mean that ya got a metal heart ta go with it." Piotr just sighed, and Rogue continued, "Why did ya want me ta practice ma powers on ya? Trying to avoid saying what ya wantta say, doing what ya need ta do?"

Colossus composed himself, shaking off the last effects of being on the receiving end of Rogue's mutation. His eyes glanced around the quiet basement that doubled as the mercenaries' training area, avoiding his young friend's gaze and collecting his thoughts. Rogue had barely been back on her feet again when Piotr had insisted that they practice controlling her powers on him again. He had given the flimsy excuse that it would take her mind off of recent events, which she was suspicious of, but she eventually relented. Now he regretted it. His gaze finally returned to Rogue, who was still looking forlorn.

"I am sorry, I should not have done this. I believe I have grown accustomed to you being aware of my thoughts and memories, and I could not keep this to myself any longer."

"Ya coulda told me, sugah."

He looked down at the indentation in the floor mat where he had previously collapsed during her training. "I could not."

"Ah don't understand ya sometimes, Pete. You're willing ta give so much of yourself but ya never let anyone in. Ya know Ah'm here for ya, we're all here for ya."

"And there is the problem."

"Ya don't want ta let anyone down . . . Ah get that."

Colossus took a deep breath and fixed his eyes on Rogue. She was surprised by the determination swimming in his dark eyes. "We should not be here, Rogue. You are too young to have suffered so much, to have to continue to suffer. And I . . . you know I cannot stay here any longer."

She bit her lip painfully, coming to grasp with the situation. "Ah know you haven't been happy here, Piotr, Ah know ya just did it ta support your family, which Ah find admirable an' all, but Ah can't leave."

"Why not?"

"Because, this is the only home Ah have. Ah know where it is ya want ta go an' it ain't for me. An' Ah can't be on my own again."

"Rogue, you were right, what you said earlier. Sometimes you cannot see the change until it is complete. But it is not complete, not for you. You do not have to be a mercenary, you do not have to be a killer."

"Ah already am!" She felt every muscle in her body tense and she suddenly felt furious at her friend. "Ah attacked someone, they died. That makes me a killer. And in case ya haven't noticed, Pete, Ah've been a mercenary for over a year now. It's who Ah am. Ah ain't runnin' from it. If you want ta go off and play hero to try to redeem yourself, good, go for it. But don't pretend like you're trying to save me, when all ya don't even know what Ah want. You're in my head, but Ah ain't in yours." His eyes remained steadfast upon her, and she could see him mustering a response. She fought back the urge to hit him and instead stomped upstairs.

When she got to the top of the steps, she closed her eyes and attempted to take some calming breaths, but the fact that there were others watching her further infuriated her. Her eyes shot open and she noted Remy, Caliban, and Domino all looking at her with concern. She scowled back at them and barked, "Domino, Ah think Colossus needs ta tell you something," then started marching up the stairs to her room.

"What does he need to tell me?"

"The inevitable," she muttered.

She lay on her bed and cried, occasionally punching her pillow till feathers started flying out. Her mind was so distraught that she could no longer contain the other voices in her head. Some of them rebuked her, some comforted her, and some just screamed. She could feel herself slipping away, drowning in her own mind, with neither the ability nor the will to fight back. And she knew that Colossus's fragment wouldn't help her this time, not after what she had said to the real Piotr. She could barely feel her body sobbing under the weight of the other personalities. She vaguely heard a knock, as if it were muffled by something.

"Come in," she said in an unsteady voice that she wasn't sure was her own.

"Chere?" The voices started to become more distant, and she turned to see Remy's figure in the doorway. She could barely see him through her tears, but she registered the anxiety in his face. She timidly held out her arm, a desperate plea for comfort. With a thief's speed, he was quickly with her on the bed, allowing her outstretched arm to wrap around him as he held her, bringing her head to his chest.

"It. . . it's too much," she gasped through her tears, on the verge of hyperventilating, "Ah can't . . . can't . . ."

"Shhh," Remy whispered, rocking her back and forth like he would a child.

The voices were retreating, and she finally had the determination to throw them to the back of her mind. They were not silenced, but what was once a roar was now a murmur.

"Ah'm sorry, Remy, so sorry," she cried into his chest.

"Ya ain't got not'ing ta be sorry about, petite."

She raised her head to look at him and brushed the tears out of her eyes. His brow was furrowed, his jaw clenched, and he looked much older than his eighteen years. She whispered to him, "Ah'm pretty sure that mercs ain't supposed ta cry like a baby. Been doin' that alot lately."

He gave a half-hearted smile, "You cry all ya want. Remy'll be here for ya."

"He's . . . he's goin' ta leave us."

"I know. We just talked 'bout it downstairs."

She tensed and the voices became a little louder, "He told them? An' they're gonna let 'em go?"

"Yeah, chere, I t'ink so. We ain't keepin' him here. Not how we work."

She gulped and nodded her head, which she again lowered to his chest. She fought back the other personalities in her mind as Remy held her, rocking back and forth ever so slightly.

They stayed like that for a while, exactly how long, she couldn't say. The voices were silent and the tears had stopped flowing, but they still maintained their embrace. They shifted slightly so that they were both laying down on the bed, arms still wrapped tightly around one another. "It's what's best for him," she finally whispered.

"I know."

"Ah'm gonna miss him."

"So will I, chere, so will I."

She felt exhausted, as if her emotional battering had taken a physical toll on her. She felt herself drifting off to sleep. Before she gave in to the darkness, she heard Remy whisper in her ear, "Everyt'ing gonna be all right, ma cherie. Remy ain't goin' nowhere. I'm never gonna leave you."

"Promise?" she asked, half asleep.

"Promise."

Colossus's defection weighed heavily on the members of Carnifex for some time. Although they had parted company in the most pleasant way possible for a mercenary band to part with one if its members, it still felt like an open wound. Rogue and Remy felt it most acutely, being his closest friends. A month after he left, Cargill was reading the paper and suddenly dropped it with a grunt. There had been a photo taken of a battle between the X-Men and some of Magneto's henchmen. Colossus was shown in his new X-Men uniform. Rogue was the only one not scandalized by the news. In a way it gave her closure, letting her know that her friend was where he needed to be, and that she would move on in life. '_But you'll always be ma friend, Pete,_' she said to the Piotr in her head, hoping against hope that somehow the real Colossus would pick up on it.

They were finishing up Cargill's lasagna the following Wednesday when the phone rang. Domino answered it, as usual, with a sedate, "Hello?" which sounded more like it came out of the mouth of a suburban housewife than a battle-hardened assassin. Rogue didn't take much notice until Domino gave out an almost imperceptible gasp. '_Nothin', but nothin' makes Domino gasp_.' She looked up from her food to see Domino's pupils dilated and she sat stiffly in her chair. Rogue's quick visual sweep of the other members of Carnifex, who, up till now, were eating dinner, showed that the other mercenaries were just as worried.

"Yes," Domino said tentatively to the person on the phone, "is this about an assignment?"

A pin drop could have been heard as the housemates waited for some indication of what had distressed Domino. "Certainly, just a second," she said, than covered up the mouthpiece of the phone. Domino looked at Rogue, meeting her eyes, and holding out the phone, "Rogue, it's for you."

"Huh?" Is all she could manage. The only thing more unlikely than Domino gasping was Rogue getting a phone call. "Ah. . . Ah don't understand. Who is it?"

Domino looked gravely at her, apparently only recovering her composure in time to make Rogue feel immature as well as terrified. "Take it," she commanded, adding in a smaller, more uncertain voice, "It's Magneto."

'_**WHAT!?**_' She was fairly certain that a number of the other voices in her head had joined in on her mental outburst.

"Just take it," Domino hissed and forced the phone into Rogue's hands.

She felt all eyes upon her and took a deep breath and spoke into the phone, "Hello?"

"Ah, Rogue." It was not a question.

"Yeah . . ."

"I was hoping that you and I could meet sometime to speak on a matter of some importance," he said in a pleasant but authoritative baritone.

"Well, uh, you're welcome here anytime, sir."

"I wish to speak to you without the influence of your. . . friends. How about three o'clock on Saturday on the Western bank of the Central Park reservoir?"

"Uh, yeah, Ah think Ah can do that."

"Good, I will see you then." And he hung up.

Over the next two days, all the members of Carnifex could seem to talk about was Magneto's meeting with Rogue. He had not told Domino why he wanted to talk to her, and when Rogue had announced that she was meeting him, speculation ran wild. It ranged from the obvious, "He wants to recruit you, plain and simple," Cargill maintained; to the preposterous, "He wants you for some sort of diabolical machine," suggested Avalanche, after one too many glasses of port. And while the reason that Rogue was singled out by Magneto was up for debate, there was unanimous consent that she should attend the meeting.

"It ain't like we t'ink it's a good idea, 'fact it be a horrible idea, but ya don't want ta piss off dat man," Remy told her as the two were eating breakfast together in the kitchen on Saturday morning.

"An' if Ah don't give him the answers he wants and he kidnaps me?" She asked, staring down at her mud brown coffee, wondering if it was a good idea to add more acid to her already churning stomach.

"He could've done dat at any time. I don't t'ink dat's what he wants from ya." Remy tried to sound reassuring, but Rogue wasn't buying it.

"What do ya think he wants?"

Remy gazed at her with a critical eye, clearly contemplating the various likely scenarios. "Don't know, exactly, petite, but I'd bet dat he wants ta use your powers somehow."

While this had occurred to Rogue as being the most likely case as well, it was also the most frightening situation for her. "What do ya think he knows 'bout my powers?"

"Whatever his inside man told 'em. Could be evert'ing."

"Fuck."

"Language!" Remy mockingly scolded her.

She scowled at him, then smirked. "Baise."

"Dat's better."

The park was beautiful, blanketed in a thin covering of snow. The mid-day sun shone upon it, making the trees, grass, even rocks, glow with an ethereal beauty. It might not have been considered a cold winter's day for New York, but the Southern gal still found it bitterly cold. As she walked around the reservoir, she found her coldness diminish, replaced by the warmth of adrenaline pumping in her veins.

Along the lake-side path she spotted Magneto, dressed in warm woolen clothing, sitting comfortably on a bench, taking in his surroundings. In this environment he looked utterly benign, more like kindly grandfather than the most dangerous mutant terrorist in the world. '_Guess that's why no one recognizes him_.' Indeed, none of the other park patrons seemed to give him a second look.

Her pace slowed as she approached him, panic rising in her. She was half temped to run the other way when Magneto lazily turned his head and looked at her. He gave a polite smile and bowed his head a little, encouraging her to step forth. She walked to the bench he was sitting at, and when he gestured that she should sit down, she nervously sat a few feet away from him, on the edge of the bench.

"Good afternoon, Rogue."

"G-good afternoon, sir." She wasn't used to accustomed to showing anyone respect that they had not earned, but her anxiety always brought out her best manners.

"Thank you for meeting me here. Lovely day, isn't it?" He questioned in a profoundly lackadaisical manner, returning his gaze to the snowy landscape.

"Uh, yeah," she replied with increasing confusion. '_What the hell, is he on sedatives or something? Ain't he supposed to be the big, bad, mutant boogeyman?_'

"I suppose it is too cold for you right now, as you grew up in the southern United States. I forgot about Southerners' general aversion to cold when I suggested this location. Do forgive me."

'_Okay, now he's just mocking me, isn't he_?'

"Ah think it's beautiful, but yes, it's a bit cold for ma tastes. Obviously you're more accustomed to this weather. Where ya from?"

"Originally? Germany," he replied, all levity draining from his voice.

He turned to face her, now looking far more like the terrorist he was. "How old are you, Rogue?"

"Ah'm turning fifteen next week."

"Are you still being told you're too young for your line of work?"

"Not as such. But Ah do get a lot of surprised looks just before Ah kick someone's butt on a mission."

He gave a disingenuous smile. "I'm sure you do." The faux smile faded, "I was younger than you when first 'kicked butt' as you so colorfully put it. I'm guessing that is your euphemism for murder."

"No!" She almost jumped to her feet, but controlled herself enough so that she just stiffened her posture, eyes wide. He looked slightly bemused, slightly put off. She quietly extrapolated, "No, that ain't what Ah meant. Ah don't—Ah mean, it ain't something that Ah do," she sighed and quietly added, "not on purpose."

He raised an eyebrow at that. "That's one of my questions answered. The next is simple, and it's not a trick question. I want an honest answer, and you should know that I can always find the truth through other methods." He smirked, seemingly at something he was unwilling to share, "In fact, I already may have done so."

She nodded.

"What do you want?" he asked pointedly.

'_Ain't that what Ah'm supposed to ask him?_' She looked at him in confusion and responded "Ah don't understand."

"What, Rogue," he said slowly, as if she were dumb, "is it that you want. What can I offer you?"

"Ya want ta know how you can buy me off?"

"As I said, it is not a trick question," his irritation apparent, "Now answer me."

"Ah want control over ma powers," she answered sincerely. '_He really could find that one out easily enough without ma help_.'

"What good would learning to control your power do you?"

She looked incredulously at him, "Um, hello, it means Ah could touch someone. Which Ah haven't done without people passing out on me for **two years**."

"The ability to touch someone does not change anything about who you are. So what is the point?"

"Ah could have a normal life!" She yelled indignantly. '_Does he really not get this?_'

"Could you? You would still be a mutant. You would still be a mercenary. You would still have blood on your hands and voices in your head. How could you be 'normal' whatever that means?" He cocked an eyebrow and stared at her with cold blue-grey eyes.

She opened her mouth to answer him, but no sound came out. As frustrated as she was by the man, she knew he was right. Control or no control, she was who she was. No longer being able to bare the intensity of his gaze, she looked away, focusing on a group of joggers who went by. "Ah know Ah couldn't be 'normal' normal. But Ah could make a life for myself. Ah wouldn't have ta be alone for the rest of ma life."

"Solitude is the human condition, we only fool ourselves into thinking that we are truly capable of sharing our lives and souls with others."

She turned back to him, "Ah thought we weren't human," she replied with a small smirk.

A smile played on his face and his eyes seemed to examine her face, as if for the first time. "Quite true, my dear," he said softly.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Rogue was keenly aware that this was not a silence born out of discomfort or confusion. It was a comfortable silence between two people who had an understanding. Rogue just couldn't figure out what that mutual understanding was. '_There's some irony there. Ah can't understand what the understanding is_.' She smiled to herself then looked closely at him. He was gazing at the park, watching the various people walk, talk, playing games, exercise, and enjoying themselves. His hair was silver – not grey, not white – silver. She wondered if it was his mutant 'tell' as Remy called it, or if it was just his age. '_Ah wonder just how old he is. He looks old and young all at the same time. Can't tell if he's forty or eighty_.' She looked at the creases on his face, which looked to be caused by stress more than age. His jaw was strong, his profile noble, and his eyes were powerful and bright. She could understand how he managed to sway so many to fight for him; he exuded charisma.

"What is it that ya want from me?" She asked simply.

His blue-grey eyes met her green ones once again. "I want you to join me," he replied just as simply.

"Well, thanks for being blunt about that. No one ever answers my questions honestly."

"Rather foolish of them. Certainly anyone who knows of your powers knows that all you have to do is touch them to find out their real motives."

"Hadn't thought 'bout that," she wondered if that was the reason he had been honest with her, "Ah'm guessing most people don't think about that either."

"Perhaps."

"So, why do ya want me ta join you?"

"I would have thought that was quite obvious. You have a powerful and unique mutation that could aid me in my goals."

"But Ah don't believe in your vision. Ah think ya know that."

"My dear, I doubt that you are even aware what it is you believe in. I think our respective views on the world are far closer than you have ascertained."

She grimaced. They were getting into territory that felt wrong, he knew too much about her. She decided to take a chance, knowing that he hadn't lied to her yet. "One of the members of Carnifex told ya about me, didn't they?" He gazed at her, but did not answer. She took it as confirmation. "Who?" She gulped.

He let out a light sigh, "Let me reassure you, Rogue, none of your number have betrayed sensitive information to me. You do not have a traitor in your midst."

"Just an informer," she bitterly chocked out. He gave her a knowing smile. "Shit," she said under her breath.

He smiled at her, "You are very loyal to them, aren't you?"

She looked at him, brows furrowed in confusion, "Of course Ah am. They put their trust in me, they helped me when no one else would. Ah ain't goin' ta betray that."

"Yet, as I'm sure you're aware, they did all that because they knew they could utilize your powers to their advantage. Their actions did not come out of regards or loyalty towards you."

"So they're just as bad as you are, that what you're sayin'?"

"What I am saying, child, is that if I, or the X-Men, or Mystique, or one of many other factions out there had found you first, they would have acted similarly. You should not let the coincidence that they were the first to stumble upon your usefulness dictate your future. You should align yourself with those whose vision for the future most resembles your own."

Rogue gave an audible sigh, suppressing the urge to defend her comrades, knowing that it would not sway him. "Fine. What's your pitch?"

He chuckled, "I have never heard it referred to as such."

"Well it is, ain't it? You want me ta join ya based on our 'similar visions' or whatevah. So, sell me."

"What I want, Rogue, is to ensure the survival of the mutant race. A war is brewing between mutants and humans and I will ensure that we are on the winning side."

"By any means necessary," she commented laconically.

"By any means necessary," he gravely confirmed.

A calm silence fell over them again, and she watched the humans around her. In her mind, these happy people were reminders of what she had and lost, what she would likely never have again. '_Ah bet they're little more than targets ta him._' She glanced at Magneto, who was also watching the residents of Manhattan out enjoying their day off on the cold winter's day. He did not appear disgusted or vengeful toward them, in fact, she thought she saw a similar look of longing in his eyes. She wondered what had happened to him in the past to make him so driven, so sure in his beliefs.

"Why?" Was all she could eke out.

"Why what?" His eyes remained on the people milling around the park.

"Why this path? Why not some other way?"

His voice became cold, "I have seen what happens when you counter unmitigated hate with mere words. If we are to survive, we must fight back, or we will die." She imagined that this was his 'general voice,' the one that he used to rev up the troops before a great battle.

His cold, hard demeanor frightened her, but she knew that he wanted to convince her, not harm her. Therefore, she braved the question, "Who did you lose?"

He turned to her, his steely blue-grey eyes now held fire. "Everyone."

"Then what do ya fight for, if ya don't have anything else ta loose?"

"I fight for our people. I fight for you. Who do you fight for?"

"Ma friends," she said, knowing how weak it sounded, adding "an' myself."

Some of the coldness lifted from his voice, "There is no shame in fighting for your own survival, for your own happiness, my dear. I only hope that you broaden your horizons beyond your own household."

"Ah might," she said confidently, "but not today."

He contemplated her for a while, as one contemplates a chessboard. "Perhaps not today. But soon, I hope."

Rogue gave an inner sigh of relief. He had let her off the hook, he wasn't forcing her to do anything. '_At least not today_.' The tension that had gripped her body for much of their conversation was now gone, replaced by the biting cold. She unconsciously started rubbing her hands together. He glanced down at them.

"I have kept you too long, and in inclement weather. Thank you for speaking with me," he said politely but coldly.

She nodded and stood and took a couple of tentative steps away from him, then suddenly stopped. She couldn't explain it, but she felt some strange bond to this man. She turned to face Magneto, who still sat comfortably on the park bench, appearing preoccupied in observing the ripples in the water. "Ah know this is kinda weird an' all," his head slowly turned to face her, "but, if ya ever want ta talk, ya know, 'bout anything, Ah'd, uh. . ."

A smile that Rogue determined to be genuine played upon his face, "I'll be sure to call you, Rogue."

"Okay," she bit her lip embarrassed, and walked slowly away from him. She couldn't help but smile a little.

**Please review! The next chapter has some romy-ness and some silliness.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: A New Dawn**

**A/N: **What I had originally intended to be one chapter will now be two, otherwise I wouldn't be putting anything out for a while. So only some of the promised silliness and Romy-ness is here.I do try and match up my chapters with De/Vision songs, such as the title song, but when I was writing the last bit of this I was listening to "Little 15" by Depeche Mode, and it fit perfectly. Thanks in advance for the reviews (hint, hint)

* * *

"So does this mean I won the bet?"

"I don't remember us actually betting on this, Cargill," said Domino, absent-mindedly thumbing through her stack of papers.

"Yeah, but if we had, I'd have won," she said smugly, draping herself over the leather love-seat.

"Ya went fo' de most obvious answer," Remy remarked, sauntering in from the kitchen with a beer in his hand. "Wouldn't have given' ya 2:1 odds on dat one. Now, Avalanche's crazy contraption theory might have paid out big if it 'ad been right."

"What crazy contraption theory?" Avalanche looked up from the schematics he was contemplating.

"Caliban thinks you might have been drunk when you suggested it."

"You've been doing that a lot lately," Domino said, irritation apparent in her voice.

"Shove off. You told me no more pills for the pain, I got to have something."

Avalanche's self medication with heavily fortified wines had been the elephant in the room ever since his near-death experience with the FoH. His electrical burns had not healed well, and he looked and felt horrible. His normal surly demeanor had become downright hostile, and only drinking seemed to calm him. Out of respect for his ordeal, the other members of Carnifex had not intervened yet, but Rogue knew that they were going to have to soon enough. There had been plenty of awkward moments when his problem had been even hinted at. '_Awkward moments like this. Crap_.'

"So Cargill was right, an' he wanted ta recruit me. Ah think he knows it ain't gonna happen anytime soon."

"Anytime **soon**?" Domino shot a worried look at her.

'_Shit, knew Ah shouldn't have used a modifier,_' Rogue gave a placating smile. "Ah ain't goin' anywhere, Domino."

"Well. . ." she seemed satisfied, "you're going somewhere."

"Huh? Another mission?" She asked, settling down at the table.

"Not what I was referring to. Caliban, come look at this one." Caliban strode over to where Domino was sitting, and started looking intently at a couple of papers.

"What's goin' on?" Asked Remy, who seemed to be paying more attention to the Saint's game on TV than the conversation at hand.

"Caliban agrees. This one will work well for Carnifex."

"Seriously. What are ya'll talkin' 'bout?"

"We're moving, Rogue," Avalanche said condescendingly.

"Why? Piotr won't tell the X-Men anything."

"No, he probably won't," Domino still had her eyes on the papers, "but he's now living with the most powerful telepath on the planet. All it takes is one slip, and the X-Men will know where we live. We can't have that."

"Where we moving to?" asked Cargill.

"Brooklyn. We'll start the wire transfers tomorrow, close in thirty days, be able to move within two months, after all our necessary upgrades to the property."

Rogue sighed and looked around at her home. Other than her parent's house, it was the only one she'd ever known. She liked it here, she was comfortable. And she really hated having to go through any more changes after the chaos of the last two months. "Ah like this place," she whined, hating that she was sounding every bit the teenager that she was.

"So do I, but we don't have a choice." Looking at her young compatriot, Domino softened her tone, "We'll make it up to you, we have something good planned for your birthday."

Rogue looked at her cynically, "Somehow Ah don't think that you an' Ah have the same idea of a good birthday. Or a good birthday gift. Should Ah be worried?"

"Probably," Cargill said dryly.

* * *

Despite Rogue's foreboding, her birthday started out well. She woke leisurely, and Caliban made her a big stack of blueberry pancakes, which she gobbled down. While working on her second stack of pancakes and feeling painfully full, Cargill joined her.

"You're with me today."

"Huh?" chocked Rogue. Despite the fact that there was little animosity between the two, they never really got along. Rogue ascribed it to the fact the Cargill had even a shorter fuse than she did, and seemed to be constantly PMS-ing. They had little in common besides the fact that they were both mercenaries. The only reason that Rogue could figure that she had to spend the day with Cargill was that she appeared to be the most 'normal' looking of all the members of Carnifex. While she looked a bit like a female body-builder, Cargill could pass for a normal human in a way that most of them couldn't. "Where we goin'?"

"Out," Cargill said with some annoyance in her voice, "be ready in half an hour."

Rogue nodded and cut off another bite of her pancakes, but ended just contemplating her fork. '_Ah'm guessing another bite has 'bout a 50% chance of making ma stomach explode. Is it worth it?_' She slowly put the fork down. '_Na. If Ah'm gonna make ma stomach explode, it better be with something involving chocolate_.'

Rogue was surprised by the fact that Cargill had called a cab, a luxury in which the mercenaries rarely indulged it. "Sixtieth and Lexington."

"Why we goin' downtown?"

Cargill huffed, "Stop asking questions. You'll see when you get there."

Rogue gazed out the window as the city rolled by. New York was so different from the semi-rural town in Mississippi where she had grown up, she still wasn't sure how she felt about the city. She loved that she could be anonymous, that she could find anything under the sun there, and that most of the residents were at least superficially mutant-friendly. Her biggest problem with the city was how crowded it was. She had never loved big crowds, and with her mutation, the packed metropolis was fraught with danger. Lost in her own thoughts, she didn't realize that the snow dappled city was no longer passing by, and that Cargill was paying the cabbie.

"Come on, we don't have all day!" Cargill yelled as she slid out of the cab.

Rogue looked up and she scooted out of the warm cab into the cold New England air. "Bloomingdale's?" Her eyes lit up, "Hell's yeah."

Cargill gave a rare chuckle. "We have a few things that we have to buy for you, but for the most part, it's your choice. Just keep your shopping to under two grand."

"TWO GRAND!?" Rogue never had an outfit that cost more than $100 in her life, idea of spending hundreds of dollars on designer clothing was overwhelming to her. "Shit, where do I start?" she asked non-one in particular.

Cargill answered her, as they waltzed through the doors, "Well, you could use some new bras."

Rogue turned scarlet, "Wha. . ."

Cargill looked down at her, "Shit, girl, I'm hardly one to give fashion advice, but you're bursting out of your old bras. What are you, a 'C' cup or something?"

"Ah really don't want to be havin' this conversation with you. Or anyone. Ever. Even after Ah've died."

Cargill gave an overly dramatic sigh, "You're a girl, ya got boobs. It's normal." She cocked an eyebrow at Rogue, "We're not going to have to have the birds and the bees talk, are we?"

"Kill me now."

"Not on your birthday. Ask me tomorrow."

To her utter humiliation, Cargill insisted that Rogue get fitted for a new bra, then dragged to her to look for new undergarments. Rogue grabbed some plain white bras and sports bras.

"Seriously? You have money, you've got a decent rack, you're going to get this boring shit?"

"Ah can't touch anyone, Cargill," an irritated Rogue responded, "What's the point in puttin' a pretty wrappin' on a present that ain't ever goin' ta be opened?"

"The point is to make them want to open it."

"Is this something for a mission? Because Ah'm tired of playing jail-bait."

"It might be for that. It also might be for the Cajun."

Rogue's growing annoyance disappeared, replaced by bitterness. "He don't think of me that way."

"Like hell he doesn't," she replied with total certainty.

'_That's probably the nicest thing she's ever said to me. Wonder if she knows it_,' she smiled to herself.

Rogue ended up getting a couple pairs of 'sexy underwear,' something she felt incredibly uncomfortable with. '_But it ain't ma money_.' She picked up a pair of new jeans, a couple tops, some new gloves, a green sweater, a pair of boots, and a pair of heels.

"Do you even know how to walk in heels?"

"No, but Ah have ta learn sometime."

"I don't think that the middle of winter in the best time to learn."

"What are you complaining about? Even if Ah can't walk in these, ya get to see me fall on ma face attempting ta learn. Ah'd have thought you'd appreciate that."

"I don't get my jollies from watching other people fall flat on their face."

Rogue looked at her incredulously, "Uh, yes, ya do."

Cargill bit her lip and relented, "Okay, yes I do. Now we have one more thing to buy." Rogue was led to the dress section, and was told, "you need a formal white gown."

"What? Am Ah gettin' married?"

"Something like that."

Rogue rolled her eyes and started browsing. '_Ah haven't had ta wear a dress since goin' ta church on Sundays back home. It don't seem like me anymore_,' she lazily browsed through the racks, finding nothing that appealed to her.

"Rogue, how about this one?"

Rogue wandered over to Cargill, expecting some frilly chiffon and satin atrocity. To her immense surprise, Cargill was holding up an embellished V-neck gown with a dropped waist and feather detailing on the skirt. It was both fashionable and classic.

"Wow," Rogue said in a small voice, "it's beautiful."

"Go. Try it on."

"Cargill, the thing's a thousand bucks. Ah can't."

"Yes, you can. It's work related, so don't worry about it. Just try it on."

Rogue nodded, found one in her size, and was shown to the dressing rooms by a well-dressed, middle aged saleswoman. Taking off her bargain basement jeans and sweater and slipping into the designer gown was surreal. '_This is some fairytale princess shit here. Although Ah don't remember Cinderella ever kicking the shit out of anyone at the ball. Which Ah'm guessing is goin' ta' happen when Ah have ta don this get-up.'_ She walked out of the stall to get Cargill's opinion without wanting to look at herself in the gown.

"So? What do ya think?" She asked Cargill and the saleswoman.

Cargill gave a half-hearted smile, "You look great."

"Oh, **that** sounded sincere."

"You look lovely, my dear," said the saleswoman in an overenthusiastic voice, "come over to the mirrors and look."

Rogue stomped to the mirrors that showed her from every angle. Her breath caught and she stared at her reflection, barely recognizing it. The dress seemed made for her. The V-neck accentuated her chest, the embellished, drop-waist bodice accentuated her small waist and flat stomach, and the ethereal skirt made it look like she was floating amongst the clouds. She meekly smiled at her reflection. "Shit. Ah look like a woman, not a girl."

"Yeah, ya do," agreed Cargill. Rogue turned to look at her teammate and saw a distinct look of envy in her eyes. It slowly occurred to Rogue that despite Cargill's tough exterior, she was still a woman, but her femininity never shown through due to her attitude and physique. '_You know you're messed up if ya envy me. Gotta make this up ta her somehow. Ah'd better fall on my face wearing those heels she warned me 'bout. She'd love that._'

After three hours and a few thousand dollars, they headed home. After collapsing on the sofa, Rogue sat and watched 'The Thin Man' with Remy while the other members of Carnifex went about the normal work of preparing for their next mission.

"Got any idea of what our next gig is, sugah? Ah have the distinct feelin' that Ah'm being kept out of the loop."

"You'll find out tomorrow, chere. We didn't want ya thinkin' 'bout work on your birthday."

"That bad, is it?"

Remy grinned, "Not for me it ain't."

"Well, that just makes me more nervous."

"As it should, petite, as it should."

After gorging on take-out Chinese food and boysenberry pie, Rogue was slightly disheartened to find that she was not going to be getting any presents. The team was wandering off from the dining room table, giving Rogue final birthday wishes, when she muttered, "What, no presents?"

Avalanche, having already finished off one bottle of wine that evening, scowled and gruffly asked "What, a fucking spending spree not enough for ya?"

"Ah was just kidding, jez."

"Sure you were."

"Well," interrupted Domino, "I do have one thing for you, but it isn't a present from any of us." She held out a large envelope which looked as though it had been opened. "Sorry that it's open, we had to check."

"Check what?" Rogue asked, completely confused.

"See for yourself," Domino gave her a friendly smile then walked away.

Rogue opened the envelope to find a charcoal sketch . . . of her. It showed Rogue in profile, sitting with her legs crossed, a slight smile on her face, gazing off into the distance. She couldn't remember sitting for the sketch, but she recognized that she could often be found sitting in the same position whenever she was unguarded. The wonder in her eyes, the innocence in her smile, it was a part of her that she didn't share with many people. Tears welled in her eyes, "Pete," she whispered. In the envelope was a note:

'_Dear Rogue,_

_Happy birthday, my friend. I miss you greatly. If you ever need me, you know where I am._

_Always,_

_Piotr N. Rasputin'_

"Chere? Everyt'ing okay?" She nodded, but Remy approached anyways. "What ya got dere?" Rogue handed him the sketch and the note. After examining both, he gave a sad smile. "Looks jus' like you. Talented man, ain't he?" He put the items down on the table and gently enfolded her in his arms.

"Just because we don't fight together no more don't mean dat he don't care 'bout us," he whispered, more to himself than to her. He raised his voice , "I got ya one last present, petite, but I left it in ma room. Join me?" She nodded and walked with him up the two flights of stairs, attempting to banish the bittersweet feeling that Piotr's gift had instilled in her. Remy opened the door to the room next to hers and flipped on the light. Remy's room definitely reflected his personality. The furniture was all mahogany and rich fabrics. It was far larger than Rogue's room '_Which room ain't?_' and he was able to fit a burgundy, velvet clad loveseat and small flat screen television on one side. Rogue took a seat on his plush, Queen-size bed while Remy searched through his chest of drawers.

"Did ya really try an' hide it from me, Swamp Rat? Ah got better things ta do then search through your drawers."

"Now chere, we both know how much ya want ta see what's in dis Cajun's drawers."

She rolled her eyes even though his back was turned. "Walked right into that one, didn't Ah?"

Remy chuckled, "Sometimes ya make it **far** too easy, petite." He finally pulled out a small box that apparently had been buried at the bottom of his underwear drawer.

Rogue tried her best to act nonchalant, but a nervous smile graced her lips. '_He didn't want anyone ta see what he got me. That's got ta mean something, right?_'

Remy smiled at her and walked over to the bed, box clutched firmly in his hand. With a rare genuine smile, he held it out to her. "Happy birthday, ma chere. I hope dis in some way shows 'xactly how much I care 'bout ya." He perched himself next to her on the bed as she slowly grasped the box.

She looked down at the present. '_Huh, no card. Ah guess that Remy has always been better at charmin' girls with spoken words than written ones._' She smiled, trying her best to show the appreciation she felt for his present. His fiery red eyes were aglow with anticipation and something else she couldn't quite discern. She always loved his eyes, but they were so intense that she knew she had to look away, back down to the present that he had given. A small blue box with a white ribbon. '_Why does that seem familiar?_'

She pulled off the bow. She could almost feel the nervous energy that Remy was putting off and she had to keep her hands from shaking. She opened the blue box and gasped. It was a pear-cut emerald as big as her eye, it was strung on a delicate silver strand accentuated by several small, but luminous, diamonds.

"Holy Shit!"

Remy bust up laughing at her reaction. "Does dis mean ya like it, petite?"

Her mouth hung open, unable to grasp the enormity of the gift that she had been given in the tiny box. She didn't know anything about jewelry, but this was clearly an extremely expensive gift. After grasping for the right response, she realized she only knew the wrong one.

"Did ya steal it?" She asked, half-joking.

"Would it matter if I did?" He answered in his normal cocky and charming tone.

'_Yeah, it would,_' She realized.

As though he heard her thoughts he answered, "Non, Rogue, Remy paid for dis with his own hard earned money. Hurt like hell ta do it, knowing I coulda snatched it so easily. Ya should see de sorry excuse dey had for security down there."

"Remy," she fought back a stutter, "Ah . . . Ah can't accept this. It's too much. It's so beautiful."

"So are you, chere."

"Don't pull that bar-room charm on me, Swamp Rat." She suddenly felt like herself again and looked into his eyes, which were displaying nothing but unfettered joy. "Ya know ya should spend your money on other things."

"Made you speechless for a full t'irty seconds, dat's more den worth de money I spent."

She feigned outraged and smacked his shoulder with her free hand. He laughed in response. Rogue tried to keep the smile off her face, but it was hopeless. She sat with the exquisite necklace in her hand, smiling at Remy as he laughed. When his laugh died out, she kept looking at him, and her gaze was rewarded with his own intense look of happiness.

"Ah really wish Ah could kiss ya right now, sugah. It's the most beautiful gift anyone's ever given me. Thank you."

Remy took Rogue's free hand in his own, and brought it up to his lips. He gave a genteel kiss to the back of her hand, making her feel the shape of his puckered lips through the silk of her gloves. "It used ta be dat whenever I saw an emerald, I just thought 'bout how much I could hawk it fo'. Now, I just t'ink of yo' eyes. Perfect little emeralds dat de are. Thought dis might be de rare gem dat would rival dem." He looked down to his gift to her and back to her eyes. "Guess not, but ya got ta give dis Cajun credit for tryin'."

She bit her lip, fighting back a confession that she feared would ruin the moment. '_Damn it Remy, ya always know the right thing ta say. Why do Ah get the feeling that ya actually mean it with me?_' She felt the tears forming, and not wanting him to see her cry yet again, she threw herself at him, hugging him tightly and burrowing her head into his chest. "Thank ya, Remy. For the gift, for everything." She held him as tightly as possible, hoping he didn't notice the couple of tears that fell or that she mouthed the words that she had fought back, '_Ah love you_.'

* * *

**OK, that got a bit mushy, even for me. They'll be back to taunting each other mercilessly soon enough.**

**I wanted to respond the reviews I got from the last chapter:**

**JasmineBella: Thank you for reviewing as much as you do, I really do appreciate it. Hey, Magneto is a villain, you're not**_** supposed**_** to like him. But I figured that in this circumstance, he and Rogue would be bound to meet up. I hated letting Pitor go, but neither he nor Rogue are the type to let a friendship perish just because they're not on the same side. He'll pop up again.**

**Malice Shaw: I'm just glad some people are enjoying the story, I'm enjoying the process of writing it. I'll try to get chapters out regularly, but it can be difficult with real life interfering. Stupid real life.**

**Mitzyspain: Thank you! I'm happy that you're enjoying it so far.**

**tenchi13: Mags is a good sounding-board for Rogue, they both tend to be blunt and honest, and they both kind of need that. Magneto will be back, he's not going to give up on recruiting Rogue that easily. Yeah, Colossus is far too principled to be a merc for long, but I liked having him around. He has a good heart, and was a good friend to Rogue and Remy, but his time with Carnifex was always intended to be temporary. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: At Night**

**A/N:** I'm very sorry that it took so long to get this chapter out. I aim for a chapter a week, but between the holidays and a massively increased workload, my free time is down to the approximate time it takes to blow my nose. I'll try and do better, but no promises. Also, I meant to make this a kind of silly/romy chapter, but it ended up far more serious in tone. Hope you like it nonetheless. Please review!

* * *

"What in deepest, **sickest** hell were ya thinkin'? Ah ain't doin' it!" Rogue rose from her chair in the basement office, intent on storming out in an overly-dramatic furry.

"Sit back down!" Avalanche bellowed at her, stepping in between her and the door. His eyes were filled with barely contained rage. "Now," he hissed.

Rogue tried her best to counter his death-stare with her own, but part of her was worried about what her increasingly volatile teammate was capable of. With a huff she turned from him and sat back down in her chair, arms crossed and looking defiant.

"Temper tantrum over?" Domino asked with a look that smacked of her disapproval. Without waiting for Rogue's answer she stated "Good," and continued to lay out her plans for the team to go over. "Anything else you need to fit in with this crowd, we'll get it this week, while Caliban and Gambit will do reconnaissance."

Rogue sighed audibly, but her rage was dissipating. "You guys tricked me inta this," she muttered.

"We did no such thing," Cargill responded, rolling her eyes and leaning against a file cabinet.

"Ya wouldn't have taken me ta Bloomingdale's otherwise, would ya? Ya tricked me."

"We were getting supplies for the mission. You got to pick out your dress. Why the hell are you acting like such a brat about this?" Cargill was clearly getting as upset as Avalanche, and Rogue decided pissing off two dangerous mutants probably wasn't the way to win sympathy.

"Listen, Ah'm okay with the whole kicking butt and taking names thing, but dressing up, acting like a 'lady'," she made air quotes with her fingers, "and pretending ta be just like all those stuck up bitches Ah hated back home, ain't something that shoulda been sprung on me like this."

"Dis reminds ya of home, petite? Dat what dis all about?"

She inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying clear her head, stop acting like a pissed off teenager, and go back to being the professional that she was. "This whole thing was big in ma hometown. A big part of society an' such. Ah don't really want ta be reminded of it. Ah don't want ta pretend that's who Ah am, cause it ain't."

"For fuck's sake girl," Avalanche interjected, "we're just asking you to go to a debutant ball, not get married."

"Jus' a big a deal in ma town," she breathed, knowing she was still exaggerating. '_Ain't like Ah really have a choice here. Passin' on a mission ain't an option once the deal's already been struck. Ah do the job or Ah get out._' Since she really had no choice but to go on the mission, Rogue decided that her best course of action was to work it to her advantage. '_Maybe Ah can make sure Ah don't have ta do this shit again_.'

Domino was going over the incomplete blueprints of the target and assigning duties. Rogue feigned interest then waited to see how far they had thought through Rogue's part in the deception. Apparently, they hadn't gotten far.

"So, who's gonna be ma escort?" She asked once all the others had aired their questions.

"Oh, uh, Remy, I suppose. He's the right age, right? Or at least he could look the right age."

"Does dis mean I have ta wear a tux? 'Cause Remy looks bon in a tux."

"Yeah, and you'll have to wear contacts, too." Remy grumbled at that, but Rogue continued on with her questions.

"An' who are we gettin' ta play the part of ma father, cause Avalanche here don't look nearly old enough."

Domino furrowed her brow, but it was Caliban who asked, "Why do you need someone to play your father?"

Domino chimed in, "Well, it's Mystique's mission, and she said she'll disguise herself as your mother. So you'll have a parent there."

Rogue rolled her eyes despite herself. "That won't work. Ya see, when a debutant is presented to the crowd, she arrives on the arm of her father, who then gives her to an escort, whom she dances with. Both parents gotta be there."

The members of Carnifex looked at her silently and incredulously. '_What, ain't any of them ever been ta a debutant ball before?_' She was tempted to roll her eyes again, until a sharp roll of laughter broke the silence. It was Avalanche.

"Holy crap girl," his voice still filled with laughter, "you actually know about this shit?" He erupted with laughter once again, breaking the tension in the room, but making Rogue feel increasingly annoyed. Once he was able to contain himself, he continued to mock her, "Aw, did little Roguey plan on being a debutant?"

"No," she attempted to remain calm, "Ah was white trash, people like me didn't have a comin' out. It was the rich bitches who had them." She bit down her resentment and avoided Avalanche's smirking visage.

"I've seen you in that dress. You'll blow all of those rich bitches out of the water." Shocked, Rogue looked up at Cargill, stunned at the sympathetic words that had come out of the mouth of her surly teammate with perfect sincerity. Rogue gave her a tight lipped smile that Cargill returned with a simple, knowing nod.

"Uh, okay," Domino interjected awkwardly, "I'll see if Mystique can handle being two people at once." A rare look of confusion crossed her face as she glanced up at Rogue, "Does the mother have to do a lot at these things?"

Rogue smirked a little at knowing something about a mission that even the expertly prepared Domino didn't know. "Naw, she just has ta schmooze."

* * *

Rogue was not-so-secretly delighted when she was called on to discuss some of the finer details of the plan with Domino and Mystique before the mission. While Mystique was clearly more familiar with the etiquette of a debutant ball than Domino, and had been able to create a false family that had been invited to said ball, it was clear that she didn't understand exactly what went on at these "archaic society functions," as she put it. Rogue managed to work out the details of Mystique's dual roles along with what her and Remy were supposed to do.

In essence, she, Gambit, and Mystique were working as look-outs and distractions (if need be) while the other members of Carnifex infiltrated the restricted levels of the billionaire's mansion where the ball was being held. They had two targets, one was the billionaire's personal vault, which held tens of thousands of dollars worth of diamonds; the second were the data files on his corporation, wherein there was information about an invention that Mystique was quite eager to get her hands on.

* * *

She had donned many disguises in the time she had been with Carnifex. The size-too-small school uniform had become a staple, as had her skintight black clothing that made her feel like a ninja. Even casual street clothes had become another disguise to her, making her look like just an average teenager when she was anything but. Yet putting on her debutant ensemble made Rogue feel less like she was disguising herself and more like she was enrobing herself in a bittersweet fantasy.

She had been honest with her teammates when she said she would have never been a debutant. Her parents were basically trailer trash that got lucky and managed to pull themselves up to the middle class. Even if she hadn't been a mutant, there would have been no coming out celebration for her, those were reserved for the pretty blond girls with perfect skin and good families. The rough and tumble tomboy Anna would never have gotten an invitation to take part in such an event, she probably wouldn't have even gotten more than a sheet cake for her Sweet 16 party.

The surreal experience of preparing for such an event made her dress slowly, methodically, like she was in a trance. She had spent an hour getting her hair in place, never having done anything more complicated with it than putting it a French braid before. She put on her make-up as Domino had instructed, silently pondering how she could trust make-up advice from someone with black and white skin. The tailored gown fit perfectly to show off her form, but she wondered how she was to fight or run in it if the need occurred. While she had been learning to walk in heels, and the heels that she purchased to go with the dress were low, she still felt so wobbly on them that she was sure she could be tipped over with a feather. She was thankful that long gloves were mandatory part of the ensemble and that the cold winter night made a sheer white wrap inconspicuous.

All the essential elements in place, she stared into the mirror that hung on the back of her bedroom door. '_Ah look like a princess, Ah really do._' She thought bewildered with a smile. She looked a little longer and the smile slid off her face. '_No. Ah don't look like a princess. Ah'm wearing the clothes of a princess. Ah'm pretending to be a princess. Ah look like the thief Ah am. Just this time Ah'm stealing someone's identity, not part of their mind._'

A sharp knock at the door made her jump slightly and snap out of her reverie. "Chere? Ya ready?"

'_Speaking of thieves . . ._' she sighed softly. "Come on in Remy, Ah think Ah'm just 'bout ready."

The door opened to reveal Gambit, dressed in a perfectly fitted tuxedo, hair pulled back discretely, and wearing contacts that made his black and red eyes look a benign shade of brown. Rogue smiled at her friend. "Ya weren't kiddin' Cajun. Ya look mighty fine in that penguin suit." She was confused by the look on his face, he looked like a deer caught in headlights. "Shame about your eyes, though," she said almost reverently.

Remy suddenly became animated again, looking her up and down while slowly advancing toward her. "Chere," he said breathlessly, lifting her right hand, "ya look tres belle." He then leaned down to kiss her gloved hand. While the act was both sweet and sincere, Rogue couldn't help but chuckle as Remy let go of her hand.

"Ok, Swamp Rat, don't get too carried away with the whole chivalry thing. We both know this ain't who we are, it's just an act, so let's just go an' do our job." She moved to go out the door when she felt Remy's hand on her arm gently restraining her.

"Rogue," he started, sounding a little hurt, "tu es formidable. Dat's no act."

She turned to look at him, feeling sure that there was hurt in his eyes behind the contacts. She silently cursed the fact that he ever had to shield his true eyes, his true identity from anyone. She brought her gloved hand up and cupped his cheek. "Thank ya, Remy. You're amazing, too. Ya know that, right?" He looked down. "Don't ya do that, don't ya doubt yourself. Ah know ya better than anybody and Ah say you're amazing. Got it?"

Remy smirked and took the hand that still held his cheek in his hand. He kissed her palm and smiled again. "If ya say so, ma cheire." They stood there, the dapper couple, comfortable in their silence for a few moments before Remy had the urge to break it with a snide, "An' why ain't ya wearing de necklace I got ya? Not good enough for ya? Waiting for de Hope Diamond?"

With that, she let go of his hand, slapped him playfully on the arm and went to grab the emerald necklace out of her dresser.

Downstairs waiting for them were Avalanche and Mystique, who had disguised herself as a fifty-something socialite who'd had one too many face lifts. They silently left the apartment, piled into a white sedan and drove to an underground parking garage two miles from their home. There they switched cars; Mystique, Rogue, and Gambit sitting in the back of a black limousine, Avalanche up front playing chauffer.

The ride out to the Hamptons was excruciatingly slow, and every attempt at light conversation between the mercenaries had immediately stalled. Rogue felt herself get tenser by the moment, and decided that even bad conversation was preferable to being alone with her doubts about the mission.

"Ya ain't ever gonna be able ta help me get control of ma powers, are ya Mystique?"

Mystique spun her head to look at the girl beside her. She looked utterly incensed. "I most certainly will," she snapped.

Rogue slowly raised one eyebrow at her and kept a skeptical look on her face. "Ah don't think so," she said patiently. "Ah think that if ya knew what the real reason was for me not being able ta get control, we'd have made **some** progress by now."

"We have made progress, you stupid girl. You can control the voices. You can get the information you want. We know how your powers work—"

"Just not how ta get them ta stop workin'."

Mystique looked like she was suppressing a snarl. Instead of have the effect of terrifying Rogue, it made her want to giggle. Mystique calmed herself and said in an even, unemotional tone, "I've only been working with you for a year, it took me the better part of a decade to refine my gift. If you would spend more time doing the exercises I've given you, you might be seeing some improvement."

'_A decade?_' Rogue thought bitterly. She wanted to continue her little battle of wills with Mystique, but the fact that it had taken Mystique almost ten years to gain control of her powers made her doubt her ability to gain control soon, if ever. '_This ain't ever gonna go away, is it? Ah'm always going ta have ta be apart from everyone._'

The hostile silence that enveloped the car induced Remy, who sat opposite the two women, to speak up. "Chere, don' ya worry none," he asserted with false confidence, "Mystique here knows what she's doin'. Dese t'ings take time, but I believe in you."

She attempted to smile at him, "An' if Ah don't ever gain control, Remy? What then?"

Remy just looked at her, searching for the right words.

"Then you'll cope," Mystique stated bluntly. "You won't miss out on much. Physical relationships aren't worth shit, so you might even look at it as a blessing. One less distraction in life."

Rogue snorted. "Easy for you ta say. You've had physical relationships. Ah never have an' probably never will. An' although I'm a merc, that don't mean that's all Ah want outta life. What you think of as a distraction might just be the one thing that matters to most to me. A real, normal relationship might be the most important thing fo' me."

"Is it?" Asked Remy and Mystique almost simultaneously, quickly regarding each other at the coincidence.

"Dat what you want, petite?" Remy asked, "De whole family t'ing?"

Rogue leaned back against the car seat, and contemplated quietly for a second. "Ah don't know," squeaked out. She looked out the window, watching the traffic slowly go by and pondered his question. Magneto's words came back to haunt her. '_The ability to touch someone does not change anything about who you are. So what is the point?_' She sighed. '_Fine Ah get it. Powers or not, Ah got ta figure out who Ah want ta be. Ah know who Ah am, Ah know who Ah was, but who Ah want ta be . . ._'

When she emerged from her introspection, she sensed that the tension had eased and the silence was a comfortable one. "Ya'll think it's okay that Ah don't know yet?"

Gambit chuckled, "'Course it is. Dis old t'ief don't know what he want either."

"Well that's reassuring," she said sarcastically. '_Specially comin' from ma kinda boyfriend_.'

"Be who you are. There's nothing more to it." Mystique said flatly.

"Ain't dat simple, Mystique," Gambit said as charmingly as possible, probably in an attempt to avoid incurring her wrath, "we all want t'ings. Want ta be somt'ing else. It's only human."

"We aren't human," she said humorlessly. Rogue giggled nonetheless. Mystique shot her a questioning look.

"Oh, uh, sorry Mystique. Ya didn't say anything funny. It's just that so much of this conversation reminds me of the one Ah had with Mags."

"Mags?" Mystique asked. Rogue was about to explain when Mystique suddenly shouted, "MAGNETO? Why are you talking to **him**?"

'_Uh oh. Forgot that they don't get along_.' It was Rogue's turn to pull the deer in the headlights look as she tried to figure out how to defuse the situation.

"Magneto tried to recruit Rogue not long ago. It failed. Don't worry about it, Raven." To everyone's surprise it was Avalanche that had chimed in to explain and calm Mystique.

Mystique eyed Rogue warily. "Be careful girl. He'll do anything he wants to achieve his goals. Including deceiving, using, and sacrificing you."

"An' that's different than you how?"

A far too serene smile slipped onto the shapeshifter's false visage. "I'm willing to pay you better."

"God almighty, Ah wish Ah knew if you were joking or not."

"Well, Ah'm sure ya do," Mystique replied, coping her Southern accent.

"You're gonna have ta speak like that all night, ain't ya?"

Mystique then shifted into a tall, dark haired, middle aged man with a moustache that appeared to be stolen from Rhett Butler. "Well yes," came a baritone voice, "except when I'm like this, princess."

"Lordy. This has long night written all over it."

They arrived at the mansion in the Hamptons and Rogue and her "mother" had been shown up to the waiting room. Mystique had excused herself shortly before her "father" arrived to give his "darling princess" a quick pep talk. Rogue was surprised that she managed to keep a straight face through all of it, and promised herself that she would ask how Mystique managed to keep in character during even the most ridiculous situations.

Then the debutants were shown to the ballroom where they lined up. '_Like cattle at a livestock auction. Disgusting._' The young girls were introduced, one by one, and eventually it was Rogue's turn.

"Miss Lenora Maria Blair Spencer."

Rogue smiled coquettishly and gave a deep curtsey. When she arose, she took the hand of her "father" with a sweet smile and followed him as he took her on a turn around the ballroom. Halfway through her junket Remy appeared with a bow, and was given her hand. She gave him a smile that masked her silent giggles. After all the girls had been formally introduced she danced, first with the disguised Mystique, then with Remy. Despite Rogue's recent growth spurt, Remy was still over a foot taller than her and her low heels did little to hide the fact. She felt a little silly dancing the waltz with him, although she felt far more ludicrous dancing with Mystique.

By her third dance with Remy, she had begun to loosen up. She gazed into his hidden eyes, genuinely smiled for the first time that night, and gave a little gasp when he pulled her closer and lowered his head towards her. '_If Ah didn't know better, Ah'd swear he's tryin' ta kiss me._' She felt her cheeks burn as he lowered his lips towards her ear. "Go time, chere." She quickly remembered that Remy had a discrete earpiece which kept him abreast of Carnifax's actions, and that his seemingly amorous actions were merely part of the mission. Feeling her cheeks get even redder, this time with embarrassment, she nodded to him and to Mystique, now disguised as her "mother" who was standing by the punch bowl with a couple of elderly socialites.

The song ended and Remy led her to where Mystique stood. The celebration was in full swing and they were now at liberty to appraise the situation and intervene if need be. Eyeing the assembled nouveau riche and faded blue bloods Rogue felt strangely predatory. There was something empowering about walking into this crowd, who once would have left her feeling small and intimidated, knowing that she and her teammates were in complete control of the situation. While their plan was one of stealth, if they had needed to obtain their objective by force, they would be almost unstoppable. At the thought, a voice in the back of her mind attempted to speak, but she forced it back. None of the other personalities in her mind would have agreed with her line of thinking, but there were two in particular that she dreaded hearing speak against her.

"We need to keep an eye on that door," Mystique reminded, giving a cursory nod to her right, "and make sure none of the security gets antsy."

"We know the plan, 'mother.'"

Mystique huffed and looked about ready to tick off Rogue rightly, when she spotted someone moving towards them. Under her breath she muttered, "This is one of the hosts. Be polite."

All three mutants donned matching faux smiles and waited as the unremarkable looking, sandy-haired man approached.

"Mrs. Spencer. You look lovely tonight. I'm so glad that your daughter could join us." At that, Rogue gave a little curtsy, to which the stranger gave a little bow. "And where might your husband have run off to?"

"That man always disappears at the most inopportune times," Mystique said in a sickly sweet Southern drawl that made Rogue's skin crawl. "Ah know he's been wanting to meet you, Mr. Trask. Ah'm sure he'll be back in a sec. But while you're here, Ah'd like you to meet ma daughter, Lenora, and her escort, Louis. His family has the most beautiful plantation down in Louisiana." Turning to Rogue with the same fake smile she informed her "Lenora, sweetie, Mr. Trask here was kind enough to allow us the use of his lovely home for this event. Wasn't that gracious of him?"

A gleam in her eye told Mystique that Rogue understood her message. '_So this is the mark, huh?_' She turned to Mr. Trask, "Thank you mightily, sir. Ah am so impressed that anyone north of Virginia could pull off such an exquisite ball, but you've certainly changed this girl's mind. Your home is absolutely lovely and everyone has been so nice."

"So you're one of the New York Trasks, are you misseur?" Asked Remy in a more refined version of his Cajun dialect.

Trask gave a chuckle. "No, no. I'm from Midwestern, middle-class stock. Thankfully, I happened to be a very good inventor, and was able to amass all of this."

"Well there aren't enough self made men around anymore." Mystique leaned in closer to Trask and made like she was telling him a secret, yet kept her voice audible to the other mutants. "That husband of mine, Lord knows Ah love him, but he needs some of your chutzpa. Money's made him far too lethargic."

Trask smiled politely, then Remy asked. "What have you invented to make you so successful. It must have somt'ing to do with computers, right? Or were you de one who built a better mouse trap?"

"Computers? No, not really. Mousetrap? I suppose. . ." He drifted off, with a smirk on his face and a look akin to insanity in his eyes. "I really can't go into it. Top secret and all. But I'm proud to say that I've created something that keeps good folks like yourselves safe."

Mystique gave a high pitched laugh and said playfully, "Safe? Oh ma dear Mr. Trask, Ah assure you that ma family and Ah are all very careful. Whatever are you talking about, sir?"

"I'm talking about the biggest threat to our society and way of life that we have ever known, Mrs. Spencer. Mutants."

The plastered smile momentarily fell from Rogue's face, until she reminded herself of her mission. Trask started ranting about mutants, but she tuned him out when a few other bystanders chimed in with their own fears. "Disgusting creatures," said one grey haired lady. "Scary to think they are allowed to walk freely," commented one of the escorts. Rogue continued to smile, periodically nodded her head, and watched the doors and the security guards, all the while hate was simmering up inside of her. '_They fear mutants?_' she smirked, '_As they should._'

She barely registered that Mr. Trask walked away, bidding them all a polite farewell, saying how he needs to check in on his other guests. Mystique quietly slipped away as well, needing to change her disguise. A boy about her age smiled at her from across the room and started to walk over. "Remy, dance with me, quick."

He obliged and they glided onto the dance floor. "Can you believe that guy?" She hissed between clenched teeth.

"Ah know chere," he said bitterly. "Dat bigot deserves everything that's comin' to him."

She smiled at the thought. Not only were they going to rob him blind, but they were stealing information from his company. She guessed it had something to do with the little invention he was so proud of. The one designed to protect people from mutants. '_Ah bet protecting humans means hurting mutants in that motherfucker's mind._'

Rogue attempted to calm her enraged mind and focus on the mission, which in this case meant dancing with Remy. She smiled to herself, quietly thankful that she had a job that necessitated her dancing with the man of her dreams. A couple of dances in, most of her anger towards Trask and his friends had melted away, replaced with simple contentment.

Remy was gazing down at her dotingly, when his expression suddenly shifted and his body tensed. Rogue raised her eyebrows in silent question, and Gambit gave a quick nod towards one of the doors that was defended by a beefy security guard. The guard was animated speaking into his headpiece and a look of panic was spreading over his face. '_Crap, the mission's gone sour_.'

She and Remy silently left the dance floor, and met up with Mystique, now disguised as Rogue's father. They discretely walked to the guarded door. Rogue veered away from the others, walking to one side of the hired muscle, while her compatriots walked to the other side, near the door.

"Ah hate ta be a bother, sir," she said to the distracted guard, whose focus finally rested on the girl, "but which way ta the restroom?"

The goon gave a quick, unconvincing smile then nodded to the side, "Over there," he said bluntly.

Rogue looked vacantly towards where he had indicated, "Huh? Ah don't see it?"

The security sighed audibly and walked closer to her. "You see that hall out there? The one you came in through?"

"Uh huh," Rogue watched as Gambit and Mystique slipped through the door while the guard was addressing her.

"Just go down there and it's the first door on your right."

"Thank ya kindly," she smiled and walked a few paces to stand by the wall.

The guard looked at her with furrowed brows, "Uh, kid? Don't you need to go to the bathroom?"

"No," she smiled angelically, "Ah just thought Ah should know where they were for when Ah do need them."

The man stared at her disbelievingly as her gaze fluttered around the room. He only refocused a minute later when something blared in his earpiece so loudly that even Rogue could hear the panicked voice on the other end. The man looked back and forth nervously, then rather meekly responded into his headset, "On my way."

Rogue took the opportunity to slip off her gloves and brush by him as he opened the door that Remy and Mystique had previously gone through. She lightly ran her finger over his exposed hand, making him stagger back a bit, holding his hand to his head. He looked drained and confused by stayed conscious. He then slowly went through the door. '_That should make him easy enough to deal with. Huh, don't even think Ah got a whiff of his personality. Or maybe he just doesn't have one._'

Over the next ten minutes three more hired goons attempted to enter the door, and Rogue dealt with them in a similar fashion, throwing them off without knocking them out or making a scene. While she attempted to look nondescript '_Just look like ya ain't never had a thought in ya head that don't have to do with what color nail polish goes with ya shoes,_' she found it increasingly difficult to remain calm, not knowing what fate had befallen her teammates. '_What if there was extra security down there? What if that fucker Trask's invention was something that could kill them on the spot? Two more minutes, then Ah go and check on them_.'

The seconds ticked by, and while her eyes were upon the privileged few, dancing and cavorting, in her mind all she could see were images of her friends dead or dying. Trask's earlier rant left little doubt in her mind that a man like that would think little of killing her teammates just because they were mutants. Adding the fact that they were trying to rob him blind only made the situation worse. An image flashed through her mind, Remy's body spread awkwardly on a cold metal floor, blood running from his mouth, his eyes cold and lifeless. Rogue attempted to shake off her fears, but she could feel her breathing and heart rate increase. Panic was setting in. Unable to stand idly by any longer, she swiftly moved to the door, yanking it open. Ready to charge in, her eyes opened wide in shock and she gasped.

Cargill stood before her, blood on her waiter's outfit. She placed a finger to her lip then motioned for Rogue to follow. They quickly but silently strode down the oak-lined corridor, Cargill ushering her into a side room. The red-velvet flocked walls of the room looked dusty and the furniture was scant, indicating that the room was rarely, if ever, used. The members of Carnifex all stood in the center of the room, surrounding a single person hunched down on the floor, whose face Rogue couldn't see.

A few heads had turned as Rogue and Cargill walked in, but most remained on the man.

"Are there any more guards?" Caliban addressed Rogue.

"Ah don't think so. All the security went came in several minutes ago. No problems dealing with them?"

Remy glanced at her with a wry smile, "Non. De were all very lethargic by de time dey got to us. T'anks, chere."

Mystique, in her natural form, hadn't looked up when the pair entered. She spoke coldly while looking down at the single figure kneeling on the floor. "He can't be allowed to live."

"That's not what we discussed," Domino responded calmly.

"You keep the diamonds, just give me this," the shape-shifter said plainly.

Rogue's breath hitched. She gazed at her teammates, looking for some clue as to who the individual was, what they had done, and if they were really willing to let Mystique kill him in cold blood. Remy and Caliban were visibly agitated, but said nothing. The others were far less disturbed by the man's imminent death.

"Please . . ." Rogue heard the man utter. His breath was labored, sounding as though he had taken a thorough beating.

Rogue slowly walked up to see the man while Domino appeared to be silently deliberating the situation. To her surprise, the man was not Trask, but an equally unremarkable looking man. He looked to be in the later stages of middle-age, with black hair dabbled with grey, tan skin liberally laced with wrinkles, and an utterly defeated look in his hazel eyes. "What has he done?" She found herself asking.

"It's not what he's done, it's what he knows," Domino answered grimly. She then nodded at Mystique, "Fine, but you take care of the body."

The shape-shifter nodded back than faced the kneeling man, who looked at her with fear glazed eyes. He seemed about to speak when Mystique quickly reached out her hands, grasping his head on either side and snapped his neck with a sickening crunch.

Rogue had barely registered what had happened before her hand clapped over her mouth, stifling her horrified cry. She watched in shock as the body fell lifelessly across the floor. Her body was shaking slightly, and she had to remind herself to breathe. Mystique and Avalanche picked up the body, and with Cargill leading them, they left the room. Gambit was staring daggers at Domino, and Caliban was just shaking his head sadly.

"Look," Domino said softly, "I'm sorry. It had to be done. Even if I hadn't allowed it, she would have found a way to kill him."

"Dat don't excuse cold-blooded murder, Domino."

Domino nodded slowly, looking first at Remy, then Caliban, and then to Rogue. Her face fell when she saw the still shaking Rogue. "I'm sorry," she whispered, then quietly left the room.

Caliban followed in silent dismay a moment later, leaving Rogue and Gambit alone. Remy turned to look at Rogue, disgust and sorrow written all over his face. Rogue finally let her hand fall from her mouth and then busied herself putting her gloves back on. Remy strode over and took her now gloved hand in his and they silently and solemnly marched out of the room, down the hallway, through the ballroom, and into the awaiting limousine.

* * *

**I didn't know how to end this chapter, it just kept going and going, and got darker and darker. I'll try and be a little lighter next chapter. Please review!**

**Malice Shaw: I'm glad you're enjoying it, I'll try my best to get a few chapters done over the next few weeks! I really want to be able to put out a chapter a week.**

**Zarikasoul19: Thanks! I know, I really need someone to beta this thing, because no matter how hard I try I always overlook a fair number of spelling and grammar mistakes.**

**Anon: I hope real life isn't getting you down too much and I hope you have time to do some of your own writing. Glad that you like how I'm building up the relationships, not just assuming that it's an instant love connection. I always figure that even in relationships with a strong initial attraction, the interesting bit is when people grow and get to know each other in new ways.**

**JasmineBella: Glad you liked the last chapter, hope this one didn't bum you out too much, since it's almost the opposite of the last chapter. But relationships that can't weather the bad times along with the good aren't very strong ones, are they?**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: Blue Moon**

**A/N: Hooray! Back to getting these up in a reasonable amount of time. I'm actively looking for someone to beta this story (it's only like a third of the way done) and I'd be happy to return the favor if you're writing any X-Men related fanfic. And please review!**

* * *

"It ain't like Ah didn't know that this shit happened, it's just . . ." Rogue paused, ostensibly to grab another sheet of newspaper to wrap a dinner plate in, but in actuality trying to control her emotions. "Just that knowing 'bout it an' seein' it are different things."

"I know, chere," Remy somberly responded, wrapping a glass in bubble-wrap, "In ya mind you can make it . . . palatable. Find some justification fo' it. Den ya see it, an' it jus' cold-blooded."

"We could not have stopped her," Caliban added, placing the wrapped dinnerware into a cardboard box, "Domino was right about that. If Mystique wanted him dead, he didn't stand a chance."

"Don' make it right though, do it homme?"

The albino sighed, "No, it does not."

A heavy silence filled the room, punctuated by the sound of the mercenaries packing their belongings. They were moving the next day, and the hustle and bustle of packing had been a welcome distraction from the mission two days prior. The house had become divided between those who were comfortable with Mystique's actions – Domino, Avalanche, and Cargill – and those who were angered and saddened by the murder – Gambit, Rogue, and Caliban. The two factions had not come to blows or seriously discussed the issue, deciding to focus on their upcoming move instead. But there was a tension in the air that Rogue knew needed to be hashed out before the lingering resentment tore the mercs asunder.

"What was it he knew, anyways?" She inquired.

"He was a scientist. Caliban is not sure, but got the impression that he had even more information on mutants than his boss did. When we walked into the room he was in, he knew who we were."

Remy looked shocked, "Ya didn' tell me dat, Caliban. Merde. He knew who we were?"

"Well that's disconcerting. One of Trask's flunkies knowin' 'bout us. Ah still don't think that's enough reason to have killed him in cold blood."

"Non. In de heat of de battle, or ta save one's own life, I get it. But dat wasn't right."

"We agree on that. Now what to do about it?"

"Ah think we gotta talk ta the others. Set some ground rules."

"They will not change their minds based on anything we say."

"Yeah, but dey gotta know dat we ain't gonna be part of dat shit. We're mercenaries, not assassins."

"There's a difference, sugah?" Rogue cocked an eyebrow and was met with Remy's harsh gaze. Rogue sighed. "Ah'm glad that Piotr ain't here ta see this."

* * *

Their new house in Brooklyn was slightly larger than their home in Harlem had been. As best as Rogue could guess, it had been a boarding house or some such deal, since it had eight bedrooms, an almost industrial sized kitchen, and four separate common rooms. The basement was far smaller than their last place, so their practice area was going to be above ground, but otherwise they'd have a similar set up as the other house. The one big advantage that Rogue saw was that there were twice as many bathrooms, four in total.

They were moving in before all the upgrades were complete, but they all thought it necessary. Even Rogue had been getting antsy about living in the old house. She trusted Colossus with all of her heart, and knew he wouldn't reveal where Carnifex lived, but she didn't trust the X-Men. Knowing that their leader was a powerful telepath and could just invade Piotr's mind to find out everything he needed to know about the mercenaries scared the bajezzes out of her.

Rogue had claimed her room on the initial visit, but only glanced around to see that it was a larger and more airy room than her last one. She enlisted Caliban to help her paint the mildewy beige walls a Robin's Egg Blue with black trim and then set about decorating her room. While she had been allowed to do what she wanted to her room in the old house, she had moved into a half-furnished room at a time when she didn't know if she was coming or going. Even with all the tension in the group, she was intent on staying with them, and she wanted to create a room that was truly her own. She bought a wrought iron double bed to replace her old, simple twin mattress. She hung a couple of pictures on the wall: A Waterhouse print, an Ansell Adams photograph, and Colossus' sketch of her. The IKEA furniture was replaced by vintage pieces of all colors and textures. There was a myriad of luxurious fabrics that found their way into her room: velvet, satin, taffeta, faux fur, leather, lace, and chiffon. Outside her room she may have needed to cover every inch of her skin, shielding the world from her deadly touch, but in here, she way free to touch, to feel.

The virtual silence between the teammates made the moving process go extraordinarily fast, even with the complications that came with transporting secret files and high explosives. Within a week, the house was secure and livable, and Rogue's room was finished. '_A room that's me. Not what ma parents wanted me ta be, not what the other members of Carnifex want me ta be. Just me._' She smiled at the thought as she snuggled down between her blue satin sheets and her black velvet comforter.

* * *

The team sat around the old dining room table, which appeared comically small in their new large dining room. Rogue had enjoyed decorating her room and wondered if the other mercs would allow her to refurnish the common rooms. '_Damn this place needs it._'

"We have a job," Domino said soberly. "Nothing big," she glanced sympathetically at Rogue, Gambit, and Caliban, "just information retrieval. Stealth is key, so I'm putting Remy in charge."

Gambit looked stern, but nodded in agreement. Impressed by Domino's deference to Remy's skills, and her silent acknowledgement of their abhorrence for mindless bloodshed, Rogue smiled and deliberated pushing the matter further.

'_Wounds either heal or fester_,' Piotr's voice sounded in her head, '_depending on whether you chose to address the wound or ignore it._'

"Ah think we oughtta get a few things out inta the open, don't ya'll?"

All eyes fell on the youngest member of Carnifex, most in mild surprise. Not surprise that the topic was finally being brought up, but that it was being brought up by the newest member in the most mature manner possible. Rogue noted that Remy was suppressing a smile.

"Fine," said Domino, "is there something you want to say?" Rogue could tell that Dom was trying to be a good leader, but was clearly frustrated over the matter.

"Ah understand . . . no, **we** understand," she motioned to Gambit and Caliban, "that this ain't some social club. That we gotta bust heads once in a while. An' if you'll wantta subcontract ta take someone out, that ain't our business. But ya'll made us unwilling accomplices to murder, an' we didn't sign up for that. Ya've keep your word Neena," Domino looked taken aback by the use of her real name, which no one ever addressed her by, "and ya never made me take a life. But ya crossed a line that night, an' if it happens again Ah don't know if Ah could ever trust ya again."

Domino's eyes softened listening to her young teammate, but she was uncharacteristically quiet. It was Cargill who broke the silence. "Fuck, girl, when did you get all grown up?"

Rogue smiled at the slightly dumbfounded Cargill, "Ah got a dozen voices in ma head, half of them geniuses. Ya don't think Ah haven't learned nothin' from them?"

"Certainly not diction," Avalanche said under his breath.

Caliban stifled a laugh, and Rogue smiled at her surly teammate.

"OK," Domino said with her usual cold, calm demeanor, "I think I understand." She glanced at Caliban and Gambit, "does she speak for you on this matter?"

"Oui."

"Caliban agrees with Rogue."

"Understood. If Mystique wanted him dead, that was her own business and you shouldn't have been dragged into it. It won't happen again."

"T'anks, Dom."

Rogue felt the tension in the house ease for the first time in over a week and happily focused on the mission that Domino was letting Remy plan. '_Thanks, Pete. You always give me strength when Ah need it most_.'

'_I just remind you of the strength you already have within you_.'

* * *

"Oh, I bet dat I could take out dat electronic lock of dere's in less den t'irty seconds."

"Using your powers is cheatin', Swamp Rat."

"Just usin' de skills de good Lord gave Remy."

"The good Lord an' the Thieves Guild of N'Awleans."

"Yeah, dem too, chere."

Remy had been enthusiastically planning the mission that Domino assigned him, enjoying the chance to show off his skills as a master thief to all of his comrades. Even as Rogue and Remy relaxed on the new velvet lined couch that she had purchased, and attempted to watch a marathon of Futurama, the thief's mind (and mouth) was firmly on circumventing his target's extensive security system. Date night was not going exactly going as she had planned. She attempted to tune out Remy's detailed plan and focus on Bender's rendition of "Jimmy Crack Corn," but her mood was plummeting. '_Ah though he was empathic, shouldn't he be pickin' up on the fact that Ah really don't want ta be hearing about this right now?_' she ruminated.

She glanced at Remy and noticed the shit-eating grin on his face. "You've just been goin' on like that just ta annoy me, haven't ya, Cajun?"

"Not at first, ma cheire. Only de last twenty minutes or so."

Rogue gave out a low growl, and was about to let her fiery temper loose when Avalanche walked in with the phone. "For you," he gruffly stated, handing her the phone.

She furrowed her brow in confusion, then smiled and spoke into the phone, "Hi, Magneto."

Gambit looked perturbed and quickly muted the television.

"And how did you know it was me, dear girl?" came Magneto's refined voice.

"Process of elimination. Only two people have ever called me here, an' Mystique and Ah ain't terribly chummy at the moment."

"Glad to hear it," he sounded smug. "I was wondering if you would like to join me for coffee on Wednesday?"

"Uh, sure."

"Excellent. Housing Works Bookstore in SoHo. Say about one o'clock?"

"Ok, Ah'll be there."

"I look forward to it. Goodbye, Rogue."

"Bye," she responded meekly, a second before the line went dead. She switched off the phone and looked up to see Remy gazing intently at her. She let out an audible sigh at her friend's clear agitation. She didn't want to have to deal with him and Magneto at the moment. "Well, looks like Ah got myself a lunch date on Wednesday," she attempted to cover her irritation with gentle sarcasm.

"Don't know, Roguey. Dis don't feel right."

"Tell ya what, Cajun," her simmering frustration now apparent, "when the most deadly mutant terrorist in the world asks you out fo' coffee, you can refuse him. Ah ain't that stupid."

"But we don' know what he wants wit' ya," he reminded her in an exasperated tone.

"Yeah, we do. He wants me ta join him. It ain't happenin' anytime soon but he's still gonna try by gettin' on ma good side. Rather have him there than plottin' against me."

"Soon?" His face was a mix of anger and confusion.

"Shit. Used that qualifier again, didn't Ah?"

"Oui, petite, ya did." His poker face now firmly back in place, he simply stared at her as if he had never seen her before. He was clearly waiting for an explanation, but she had none. After a minute he simply threw his hands up and walked away. She wanted to go after him, but she had nothing that she could say that would remedy the situation. So she went back to watching Bender the robot singing folk songs.

* * *

She had gotten to the bookstore early and began browsing the stacks of books, vacantly viewing their titles. She and Remy were still not on good terms. She understood why, but she didn't know how to fix things between them. Rogue and Gambit were alike in so many ways, amongst them were their fear of abandonment and their reluctance to trust other people. '_A complimentary set of personality traits,_' piped up one of the scientists in her mind, '_The fear of abandonment creates the need to distance oneself—_'

'_Oh ma Lord, shut the fuck up_,' and she slammed the scientist to the back of her mind, silencing him. '_Like Ah don't know this shit already_.'

The fact that Rogue was willing to entertain the notion of **one day** aiding Magneto was as disconcerting to her as it was her teammates, but it was the level of confidence, even trust, that she showed him that worried Remy. Even she acknowledged it was foolhardy, seeing as he was a mass-murdering terrorist. Yet she still couldn't help but think she was right on this issue.

She had been lost in her thoughts and mindlessly thumbing through the poetry section when she realized that a tall, muscular figure stood directly behind her. She suppressed a gasp and spun around, not surprised to find Magneto's blue-grey eyes dancing with amusement.

"One would hope," he said in a low tone, pulling off his long brown overcoat, "that a mercenary would have a better sense of her surroundings."

"Well, Ah'm off the clock. Which means Ah can be an oblivious teenager fo' the time bein'."

He gave a soft chuckle which eased the tension in her body that she had not even known was there. "Would you care for a drink?" He asked cordially.

"Sure. Thanks." They walked to the counter in silence, Rogue hoping that it was supposed to be contented silence and that it had not become an awkward silence. Which made her feel awkward even thinking about it. She picked at her black leather gloves nervously.

"What will you have?"

"Uh, Ah'd like a non-fat double mocha. No whipped cream."

"And I shall have a triple espresso."

'_Ah guess the terrorist business is more exhausting than Ah thought_,' she smirked to herself. She soon realized that Magneto's eyes were upon her and her face reddened and she attempted an innocent smile. Judging by the reproving look on his face, he wasn't buying the angel act.

They got their drinks and found a place to sit far away from the few other bookstore patrons, who appeared too fixated on whatever was on their iPads to notice a terrorist and mercenary in their midst. '_Thank God for the obliviousness of humans,' _she thought, taking off her heavy green coat.

She waited for her drink to cool while she pondered what to say to him. Finding her mind blank, she'd almost started out with, "Nice day, isn't it?" when he spoke up, to her immense relief.

"I hope that this location is amenable to you, I know how you hate the cold."

"Amenable?" She asked rhetorically, a laugh in her voice, "Yeah, this place is great. Thanks for remembering that Ah don't do cold. Unlike you, Ma—" she paused and gauged his disposition. Thinking it safe, she continued, "Uh, what should Ah call you? 'Specially since we're in public and all."

His steely eyes betrayed nothing, and he neutrally replied, "Erik should be fine."

"Is that your real name or an alias?"

He merely smiled in response. She laughed at her own naivety, "Yeah, ya won't be tellin' me that anytime soon, will ya?"

"I'll tell you what Rogue, when you agree to join me, I will reveal to you what my given name is."

"Not the biggest inducement fo' me ta join you."

"It was not intended to be, just a promise. One I entirely intend on fulfilling one day."

"Why you so sure?" She wondered if he had any real reason to think she'd join him. Rogue found it strange that she hadn't dismissed the idea entirely, but she hadn't. Thing was, she didn't know why she still considered it an option, and wondered if she had indicated something to him that betrayed her interest. Something she wasn't even aware of.

"My dear girl," his voice becoming slightly more clipped and harsh, "your mutation is such that you will encounter more prejudice than most of our race. I am certain that you have already dealt with some of the most virulent bigots in your short career and possibly even had the misfortune to peer into their pusillanimous hate-filled minds. How long until it will be too much for you? Until you want to do more than simply supply information to activists like myself?"

"Ah ain't the only one to be hated fo' ma mutation. And Ah certainly ain't the only one ta see how hateful people like the FoH and Trask are. So why not one of ma friends? Why ain't ya trying to recruit them? Other than that spy ya got in there." Rogue tried to restrain herself, but her anger was growing, especially as she brought up the traitor in Carnifex's mist.

Magneto seemed to sense the tension, and he sat back in his chair and slowly took a slip of his espresso. "I would gladly take them all on, if they were dedicated to my cause," he replied with all the eloquence of a politician. '_And the weasel mind of one too_,' she thought derisively. "But I doubt any of them are of the proper temperament. Domino's mind is more dedicated to doing her job to reasoning why she is doing it, Cargill is too headstrong, Avalanche is too thick-headed, Caliban would be a pacifist if the world hadn't forced him to fight back, and Gambit's only concern is for himself."

"Hey!"

"Hit a nerve did I?" She shot daggers at him. "I did not mean to offend your compatriots, but you asked me a question. I truly would be happy of their perspectives were changed in my favor, but I doubt it likely to happen. Whereas I feel confident that you will soon come to see my point of view. And yours is the most . . . intriguing power that I have come across in a long while."

She rolled her eyes, "Great. Just what Ah want. To be 'intriguing.'" She attempted to imitate his voice with the last word, and was greeted with an almost-eye roll on his part. She took it as a victory.

"Now who is this Trask you mentioned?"

"Crap," she muttered.

He gave a snide smile. "See? You don't have to be a traitor to give me information, do you? All it takes is a simple slip of the tongue."

She gave a deep, audible sigh. "You've got to know who Trask is."

"Maybe I do, maybe I do not."

"Uh, this ain't the kinda thing ya wanta play coy 'bout. Ah don't know much, but he's out ta get us, all of us, and he's invented something ta help him with that. Mystique has the info, go ta her if you want the details. 'Cause that's all Ah know."

"And if you knew more?"

"Ah wouldn't tell you."

"Of course you wouldn't." She couldn't tell if he was being facetious or not.

"You gonna talk ta smurfette?"

He cocked a confused eyebrow at the reference, and coldly stated "She and I do not get along very well."

"Ah gathered that." She took a long slip of her drink, adoring the mix of java and chocolate. "What's with that? Ah mean, ya got similar goals, similar methods. What's the problem? She an old girlfriend or somethin'?"

He shuddered slightly. "Hardly," he replied disdainfully. "I think it is rather a case of 'the Devil's in the details.' We may have similar goals and methods, but the specifics are worlds apart. We have been known to step on each other's toes, so to speak. I would not consider her an enemy as such, since we have, as you say, similar goals, but I cannot trust her and find her . . . lacking."

She let the matter drop and started gulping down her mocha in earnest, since it was now cooling rapidly. He appeared to do the same. They both sat contentedly, imbibing caffeine and gazing around the bookshop.

Rogue was down to the dregs when she enquired, "Why did you call me?"

"Didn't you offer to meet at some other point and time?"

"Yeah, but ta be honest, Ah didn't think ya'd take me up on the offer. Ah thought you'd have betta things ta do."

"One cannot be working all the time. And I enjoyed our previous conversation. Many of those with whom I converse are either afraid of me or in awe of me, it makes honest discussion rather difficult. You show remarkable intelligence and insight for one so young. I suppose it is due to the nature of your mutation."

"Well, that and school."

He looked at her with mild shock, "You attend school?"

"Naw," she mixed her sarcasm with an especially heavy Southern drawl, "Round from where Ah come from we don't have none of that fancy book-learning. We get all we need to know from drunkenly shooting at shit an' watchin' Fox News."

His annoyed look took the edge off her own irritation. "Ah go ta school on-line. Colossus set it up fo' me. 'Bout half ma day is filled with lessons an' homework."

"Do you enjoy it?"

"School? Yeah. As much as one can enjoy it. Kinda wish Ah was in an actual school with kids ma own age, but that ain't really an option, is it?"

"It **should** be," he said firmly.

"Ah know, Ah know."

She sighed and looked down at her empty coffee cup. Noticing his was empty too, she reached out her hand, "Can Ah take that for ya?" He nodded and gave her the cup, and she threw them away. Walking back to their corner, she noticed he was pulling something out of his overcoat that had been draped over the side of his chair throughout their conversation. It was a small-ish rectangular object, covered in plain brown packing paper.

"What's that?" she asked as she plopped back down into her chair.

He gave her an affable smile. "You mentioned at our last encounter that your birthday was coming up, which means that at this point it has passed. I would be remiss not you give you a present."

Her mouth hung open as she looked stunned at Magneto. "Ya—ya got me a birthday present?"

His eyebrows lifted, "Is it that hard to believe that I am capable of such things?"

"It's just that you're a . . ."

"I'm a what?" He asked dryly, obviously knowing full well to what she was referring. "My occupation does not define me, Rogue. Nor does yours define you."

She blushed, immediately feeling stupid about thinking of him as heartless because of what he did. The same could easily be said of her or any of the members of Carnifex, and she knew that none of them were heartless. '_Even that dipshit Avalanche_.' She looked apologetically at him and slowly took the package that he was holding out to her. "Ah'm sorry, Ah didn't mean it like that. It's just that Ah didn't think ya really had time in your life for anything but your cause. Doubt that getting birthday gifts for teenage girls ya barely know would be very high on your list of priorities."

His face softened ever so slightly and Rogue breathed a sigh of relief. "As I have previously stated, there is more to me than my cause. Yes, it is far and away the most important thing in my life. Yet I find these little dalliances into the realm of what is deemed 'normal behavior' can both be enjoyable and provide balance."

"Well, if that's how ya feel, feel free to go shopping fo' me anytime," she retorted with far more cheek than she knew was advisable. If he disapproved of it, it didn't show.

She smiled down at her present, which was clearly a book. '_Givin' a book in a bookstore. Somehow that seems like somethin' he would do._' She returned her timid green eyes to him, "Thank you, Erik," she flushed scarlet at using his name. "Ah . . . Ah really do appreciate it."

He simply nodded.

"Um, Ah should probably go now."

"Yes, I'm sure that your friends will want a full report."

"Well they can ask," she smirked, "but this girl don't go round blabbing. Except fo' that Trask thing. That was really stupid of me."

He let out a huff of laugher, "We all make mistakes, the important thing is to learn from them."

She smiled warmly at him, reminded of why she liked him. "I'll get goin' now," she said as she stood, realizing that he was rising from his chair as well. "Ah won't tell 'em your name . . . or what you said about them."

"Take care Rogue, until we meet again."

She nodded in response and was about to take a step towards the door when she was overcome by curiosity. "Hey, um, Erik?" she politely enquired "Why didn't ya ask what my real name is?"

"Because I already know it." Her eyes widened with creeping terror, but his expression did not change. "It's Rogue."

"That's not –" He turned and looked her in the eye, and she immediately knew what he meant. Apparently so did one of the voices in her head, who piped up with, '_We are what we make of ourselves_.' Rogue ignored the voice and stared Magneto. She gave a slight smile, mostly due to feeling awkward from the intensity of his gaze. "Yeah, it is." She nodded and walked out.

Ten minutes later she found herself sitting on the subway, glaring down at the package Magneto had given her. She slowly opened the gift and looked suspiciously at its contents. It was an old hardbound copy of George Orwell's "1984." She thumbed through the first pages, noting that it was a first edition, but there was nothing else distinguishing about it. Pondering the book, she figured that he had given it to her for a reason, but she didn't know what the reason was. '_Guess I'll have ta read it an' find out._'

* * *

**A few notes on the minor choices I made for this chapter: 1) I chose Robin's Egg Blue for Rogue's room because of a work of fanfiction that I read when I was a teenager. I can't remember its title, but I remember how intense it was. It was a romy, but it mostly dealt with Rogue dealing with a sexual assault. In it, her favorite color was Robin's Egg Blue, and that featured prominently in the story. Anyone know what the name of that fanfic was? I'd love to read it again. 2) Housing Works is a real bookstore and cafe in NYC. The proceeds go to improve the lives of people afflicted by AIDS. 3) I love Futurama. The episode referenced is "Bendin' in the Wind," where Bender becomes a folk singer. If I'm feeling blue, all my husband needs to do is start singing Bender's version of "Jimmy Crack Corn" and I bust up laughing. 4) I have a very good reason for having Magneto giving Rogue "1984" for a gift. Any guesses why?**

**In response to my wonderful reviewers:**

**Malice Shaw: Glad you thought the last chapter was worth the wait, I'll try and not keep you in such suspense next time. :)**

**Tesse Kurosaki: Yeah, Rogue and Remy may have their mushy moments, but I always loved when they were verbally sparring in the comics, so I try and put that in as much as possible. I know that my grammar needs some work; this is a totally new style of writing for me and I get overwhelmed a lot. I hope to find someone to beta this story soon, so that should help. I'm going to try and put out a chapter a week from now on out, and Rouge and Remy's relationship is only going to get more complicated.**

**AbbyGail: Oh, I'm blushing here. I'm so happy you're enjoying it so far. I've been reading the comics for well over fifteen years now, so I'm pretty dedicated to how they're depicted in there. Glad that shows in my story, although I'm always afraid that I'm misrepresenting some of the minor chapters more than artistic license allows.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: Hear Me Calling**

**A/N: I'm trying something different in the beginning of this chapter, tell me if you do or do not like it.**

* * *

_Dear Piotr,_

_I hope this letter gets to you safe and sound. We've all missed you around here, even though most of us won't admit it. You know how some of our friends are. I know that you can take care of yourself, but I still worry about you. I trust that you're enjoying your new home, even if it did take you away from us. But you know I understand._

_Thank you for the amazing birthday present. You're so talented, I hope you're keeping up with your painting at Xavier's. I'm not even sure when you found time to do that sketch of me, but I've framed it and it holds a place of honor in my room. My new room. Yeah, we moved. And the P.O. Box you know about won't be used anymore. So if you want to get in contact with me, e-mail's the only way. Only I don't have an address of yours. Please make one, I want to still keep in contact with you. Holding conversations with the you in my head ain't exactly cutting it. Although he is just as kind and supportive as you always were._

_I've kept up with my studies, as I'm sure you'll be happy to hear. I'm kicking Geometry's ass and loving English. I'm doing well in Science and History too, although I know I have an unfair advantage in those that I sometimes exploit. I try and figure it all out on my own, but come on! What's a girl to do if she can't figure out mitosis and she has access to someone who did their doctoral dissertation on the subject (and just won't shut up about it)?_

_The Swamp Rat sends his regards. He's all pissy right now that I'm willing to chat with someone outside our little group. But I'm being careful, I know how easily trust can be betrayed. Honestly, I think he's getting a little unsure of himself lately. He doesn't know where he belongs, unlike you and I who are in the places we need to be right now. I wonder if he's homesick. He doesn't talk much about home, but I know there's something he's running from there. I want him to find happiness, but I don't know how I can help him. And I don't think I can lose him like I lost you. There's only so much I can take. I need something to hold on to. Which is probably why I'm writing you this and not doing like the others advised and just let you go. There are so few things in my life that are real and permanent, things I can't let go of. And I know our friendship is one of those things._

_I miss you. Please get in touch soon._

_-The River Rat_

Rogue reread her letter one last time before sealing the envelope. She had been careful to be vague enough so that if it ended up in the hands of the X-Men they wouldn't learn any pertinent information. But she had to tell her friend that she was safe and happy and that she still thought about him. She had lost most of the people in her life that had cared for her, but it was always someone else who ended it. She was never the first to let go, and she would be damned if she started now.

* * *

"Rogue, can you join us for a sec?"

"Uh, sure Dom. But Remy an' Ah gotta head out soon."

Rogue finished zipping up her overnight bag and threw it over her arm, following Domino out of the room and downstairs. "I know," she replied, glancing over her shoulder at Rogue, "this will be quick. I just want to run something by you before you go."

The others were situated around the old dining room table '_First thing when Ah get back, Ah'm replacing that ugly thing_,' all looking a little preoccupied. Remy was going through his own bag, double checking that he had remembered everything. Avalanche had a glass of Scotch in one hand, a newspaper in another. Cargill and Caliban were playing some sort of card game. Rogue almost choked on her own laugh when she heard Cargill whisper to Caliban, "Go Fish."

Domino loudly and conspicuously cleared her throat. No one looked up. She gave an exasperated sigh. "Yeah, we hear ya," grumbled Avalanche, "What's up? This is cutting into my free time."

"Haven't gotten your full eight hours of drinking, have you?" Domino retorted. She was met by silence. "Fine," she spat out bitterly, "just thought you guys might want to know we're probably going to be getting a new member. But since you can't be bothered . . ." She turned to walk into the kitchen, fully aware that everyone was now staring at her aghast.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Cargill fumed while dashing to cut off Domino's retreat, "What the fuck are you going on about?"

Domino had a satisfied smile on her face when she turned back to face the other members of Carnifex. "There's room for improvement in our little organization. So I went looking for someone to fill that need. I think I found the perfect person."

"Caliban thinks we decide these things as a team."

"Damn strait we do!" bellowed Avalanche.

"And we will," Domino said firmly, "but I'm giving you a head's up before I give you all the details. Don't want to just spring this on you." She gave Gambit a pointed look. He rolled his eyes. "I'm finishing up my background check, and I'll give you a full dossier in a couple of days."

"An' if we don't like who ya've found, we don't have ta take them, right?" Rogue asked.

"We're a democracy, chere." Rogue thought back to her first day in the house where they'd silently voted in front of her. Cargill and Avalanche had voted against her, the rest wanted her to join. She felt strange about having that kind of power over someone else.

Lost in her own thoughts, she wasn't sure how long there had been silence until Domino's voice jarred her back to reality. "Ok, that's it, I'll keep you informed."

Remy glanced over at her, "C'on petite, time we headed out."

Rogue nodded and followed Gambit out, giving a cursory wave to her teammates, most of whom mumbled "bye," and "good luck" back to the departing Southerners.

* * *

Gambit wanted his first command assignment to go off without a hitch and had not been satisfied with the information provided by Domino about the target. "What does an assassin know 'bout security?" He reasoned, "A t'ief will see what no one else sees." So he had decided to do one last recon a week before the mission. Having Rogue tag along was not his idea. Caliban had suggested that she join him and Domino seconded the idea, stating the need to always have back-up, even on recon missions. Rogue was pretty certain that the real reason that they were paired up was that the other teammates were attempting to reconcile the two after their argument about Magneto. She was simultaneously grateful and resentful at the gesture: grateful that the other members of Carnifex noticed and cared that she and Remy were not getting along, resentful that they were butting in to her personal life.

During the train ride to Philadelphia, Rogue and Remy barely exchanged a word, and the words that were exchanged were cold and professional.

"These our seats?"

"Oui."

"Okay. Ah have some readin' ta do. Is there anything you need me ta go over before we get there?"

"Non, petite. You read. I'll deal wit' de details."

And so they sat side by side, Rogue reading "1984" and Gambit reading various press releases from the corporation whose office they were breaking in to. She didn't know how those were pertinent to the assignment and she didn't ask. While she was enjoying her book, after a half an hour the silence between them felt overwhelming. '_Sittin' right next ta him, might as well be in California for all the good it does me._' She kept gazing at her book, trying to find the words to break the silence, trying to find the words to make things right between them again.

"Don't like de book, chere?" Remy asked dryly, eyes not moving from his own stack of papers.

She was so shocked that he broken the silence that his taunt didn't register. "No, it's good."

"Den why haven't you turned de page in fifteen minutes?"

"Wha? Ah have too."

"Maybe ya just a slow reader, huh?" He finally brought his eyes up to meet hers, a cocky smile gracing his lips.

She cocked an eyebrow, "Ya ever think that Ah was contemplating some of the issues brought up by the book, Swamp Rat?"

"So de face ya make when you're contemplating great works o' literature is de same face ya make when you're fallin' asleep watching 'American Idol'?"

"Cram it, Cajun."

"An' dere's dat philosophical mind at work. Wasn't it Socrates who told Plato, when asked 'bout de nature of de Gods, replied 'Shove it, Play-do'?"

Rogue giggled, "Yeah. That was right before Plato offered Socrates some herbal tea."

Remy smiled, but looked back at the press releases.

"Remy?"

"Oui, Roguey?"

"Ah'm sorry that Ah wasn't able ta explain 'bout the whole thing with buckethead earlier."

He looked up at her, all traces of humor gone, "An' can ya now?"

"Ah'm willin' ta try."

He nodded ruefully, "'Kay, how 'bout we talk about it when we get ta Philadelphia. Get some food in our bellys?"

"Sounds good." She smiled at him then attempted to start reading again. '_Now if there only were an explanation that wouldn't make him more angry at me._'

They arrived in Philadelphia shortly before 3:00 and decided to head to a diner conveniently located kitty-corner from their target to have a bite to eat. Remy sat facing the window and was observing the comings and goings of the office workers. Rogue contented herself with fiddling with her paper napkin while waiting for either her short stack of blueberry pancakes to arrive or for Remy to pull his attention away from the office building and to her. The latter happened first.

"So, chere, what did Mags want wit' ya dis time?" He asked conversationally, face blank.

"Same ol', same ol', sugah. Wants me ta join him, so he's bein' all polite an' actin' like he gives a damn 'bout what Ah think an' what Ah do."

"Did ya tell him how ya are and what you're doin'?"

She shrugged non-committally. "Sorta. Told him Ah'm in school. An' that Ah'm loyal ta Carnifex."

A slight smile played upon his lips. "Good ta hear dat."

"You didn't really think ma loyalty lay elsewhere, did ya, Remy?"

Remy's focus returned to the office building. "Wasn't sure," he responded.

She furrowed her brow, horrified by his answer. When she spoke it was barely a whisper, but was filled with rage, "How could ya think that? You're all Ah have in the world. Ah'd **never** betray ya."

His eyes hesitantly met hers and suddenly his poker face was gone. It took her a while to recognize the look that replaced it; he was ashamed. The waitress seemed to pick this particular moment to reappear, placing the pancakes in front of Rogue and the turkey club sandwich in front of Remy with a chipper "Anything else I can get you?" They both shook their heads, never loosing eye contact with each other.

After the waitress had sauntered off, Remy finally replied, "Didn't know, chere. Don't have much luck when it come ta trustin' de right people," he said with a bitterness she'd never heard before. "Trusted Petey ta stay wit' us, too. He was my best friend next ta you. Shows how good a judge of character I am."

"That's completely different, Remy! You know he wasn't cut out for this. He ain't like you and Ah, he wanted a cause ta fight for."

"An' you don't? Magneto wouldn't be tryin' ta lure ya ta his side if he didn' t'ink dat you wanted de same t'ing. Can't stand de man, but he's no fool."

Rogue's eyes fell to her pancakes, and she suddenly realized her appetite was gone. "Ah don't know if Ah would ever want ta fight for him or anyone with a cause." She raised her eyes to him once more, "But if Ah ever do, Remy, Ah promise it won't be sudden, it won't be a shock. An' even then, Ah'll always be on your side." She held his gaze as intently as possible to hammer home her point, "Ah don't betray the people Ah love."

He smiled at that, albeit weakly. "Hope dat true, Rogue. Remy can't stand ta lose ya."

"Same here, Cajun."

They ate slowly and silently, ruminating on how fragile even the most powerful connections between two people could be.

* * *

**I hope someone got the herbal tea joke.**

**Malice Shaw: Damn, you have a great memory. Thanks for remembering the name of that fanfic, I'm going to try and find it.**

**RRL24: Rogue's still trying to find herself, but she's well on her way to doing so. She gets what Magneto's doing on one level, but hey, he is a super villain (or at least he can be villainous) and working on a whole other level.**

**Marigab: Yep, the plot is thickening. Now if I just knew where I was going with it . . . *Kidding* I'm changing my original ending, but I do have the plot all laid out.**

**Jen Rock: Glad you've stuck with the story this far. I know that most people have issues with any Rogue/Magneto relationship, but I always thought there was a decent reason why they were close, so I had to have it as an element to this story. Their banter can be serious and fun at the same time.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: Twisted Story**

**A/N: Yeah, I'm giving up on the whole "I'll put a new chapter up every week" thing. My life is too chaotic for that right now. But I promise I'm trying, and I won't abandon this story. Thanks to everyone who's sticking with me. There's a bit of a discussion about '1984' in here, so if you haven't read it/don't remember it, I'm sorry if it's confusing.**

* * *

Rogue was sprawled on the living room sofa, legs draped over the headrest, intently reading her book when Domino waltzed in and threw a manila folder at her, "Here's the dossier I promised." Rogue looked up a moment too late and the folder hit her on the forehead.

She grasped the folder and its' now spilled contents with a low growl, "Gee, thanks."

Domino gave a smirk and exited the room. Rogue started reading:

_Subject possesses the mutant power to project extremely convincing and realistic illusions into the minds of others. These illusions are hypnotic, and victims tend to accept them as fact, even when the images and scenarios they are confronted with involve sudden changes to the world around them, or are inconsistent or improbable. As such, they can be used as a very effective brainwashing tool. . ._

"Have you read this?" Cargill burst into the room, waving a similar manila folder.

"Trying to," Rogue responded with an annoyed huff.

"Bitch seems like a complete psycho!"

"What, afraid she's take your place as the group's resident nutter?"

Cargill stood, arms crossed, staring daggers at Rogue. "Hardly. Besides, I think that's Avalanche. This chick just doesn't seem trustworthy."

"That's what ya said about me. An' where does it say that it's a woman?"

"Keep reading, you'll get to the health profile. And yeah, I did say that about you and I had good reason to. You still could bail on us for Magneto for all I know."

"Ya been talkin' ta Remy?"

"Yes, he's worried about you. Fuck, that's besides the point. I don't think that this girl will be good for us, do you agree with me or not?"

"Don't know till Ah meet her. Ah ain't gonna judge her by this. Although her powers seem like they'd help us out a lot."

"You just keep reading, you'll see what I'm talking about," Cargill said with certainty and stomped out of the room.

Rogue rolled her eyes and kept reading:

_Illusions can put enemies in a coma-like state, by telepathically trapping her enemies' minds in a maze from which there's no escape._

"Don't know, chere," Remy stealthily sauntered into the room, his nose buried in a manila folder, "Dis femme's powers seem useful, but she has a rap sheet –"

"Are ya seriously dissin' her for committing crimes. You?" She gestured to Remy, "Pot," she held up the folder, "kettle."

"No, I'm dissin' her for being caught. Big difference. Dis thief never been caught. She has been. Means she's reckless. Don't want dat around when my life is on da line." He turned around, walking out of the room, still reading the dossier. "Or yours," she heard him mutter as he disappeared.

Trying to fight off the butterflies now infiltrating her stomach, she read on:

_Thought to have limited telepathic abilities that enables her to read her opponent's mind and make the illusions all the more accurate for it._

"Caliban wants to meet the woman."

Rogue almost jumped off the sofa, unsure how Caliban had snuck up on her when even Gambit was unable to do so.

"Uh, yeah," Rogue shakily agreed, "Ah think that's the right attitude ta have."

Caliban smiled at her, "We will know if she is good or not when she is in front of us. Like how Caliban knew you were good when we met you."

Rogue returned the smile, "Aw, sugah. Thanks."

Caliban nodded then headed towards the dining room. He stopped and turned to her again, "If she is not good, Caliban has found someone who is." He smiled again and retreated out the door before she could process his words.

* * *

Magneto contacted Rogue shortly before the new Carnifex candidate was to meet with everyone. He suggested another bookstore/cafe to meet at. '_Like Ah got a choice about it_.' She immediately told Remy about the meeting, and reminded him that her loyalty was with the mercenaries, and in particular, with him. He was less than thrilled, but reluctantly agreed that keeping on Magneto's good side was probably best for all involved. "Just know, ma chere, dat everyt'ing he say jus' another way ta get into dat pretty little head of yours." He reminded her before she set off on the warm Spring morning to meet the Master of Magnetism.

Since it was such a nice day, the cafe was packed, and Rogue had to scan the crowd before she spotted Magneto. She gave a little wave in greeting and he gave her a slight nod. She ordered her usual mocha and he ordered a large coffee. '_Guess he's going light on the supervillainy if all he needs is coffee, not espresso._' She giggled quietly.

He raised his eyebrow. "What is it about me purchasing caffeinated beverages that is so amusing, young Rogue?"

She gulped, "Oh, uh . . . Nothin'."

He continued to stare at her. She was sure that his eyes could pierce her soul if he so wanted them to.

"Oh alright, Ah was just thinkin' it must be your day off if you're drinkin' plain coffee."

"And what was humorous about me purchasing espresso at our last meeting?"

"Ah figured it meant that you'd been workin' late."

"And that's funny to you?"

"Considering who ya are an' what your work is, yeah."

"Could the same be said about you?"

"No. That's different."

"How so? How are our professions so dissimilar? Beyond the motivation for which we pursue them?"

"Rogue!" the barista called, and she grabbed her drink, thinking of a decent response as they walked to a table.

"Ah, uh, Ah guess not. 'Cept the whole _killin'_ thing."

"Yet you have—"

"Ah know Ah have, but Ah ain't proud of it. It ain't something Ah take lightly. Ah'll never take it lightly. Ah can't promise you much, Erik, but Ah can promise you that." She blushed slightly when speaking his name. It felt unnatural to her.

He leaned back in his chair and silently contemplated. "Good," he stated.

"Good? Ah thought you were trying ta recruit me ta be a henchman or whatevah."

"The Acolytes are **not** henchmen. I am not some crime boss who wishes to surround himself with lackeys. And no, my intentions are not to have you join me merely to have you be a foot soldier. Many of my number are willing to fight, die, and kill for me, but few have talents beyond that. You do."

"Ah guess ya want to use me for intell then?" She replied flippantly, "Gee, good to know that Ah'm more than cannon fodder to ya."

"That is not what I meant," he declared harshly. "First of all, I wish you to join my cause for more than your ability to gleam information from peoples' minds. Any bargain-basement telepath can do that, and with far fewer consequences. You are still a child and yet you already show and aptitude for logic and leadership. You should lead, not follow. Secondly, I do not consider anyone to be cannon fodder, whether they side with me or not."

He exhaled slowly, his eyes intently on her. Her heart-rate ticked up, in full fight or flight mode, but she knew that it was to be a verbal sparring, not actual violence. It did little to comfort her. Her panic turned to confusion as he began to roll up his sleeve.

"Do you see this, little girl?" he snarled.

She shuttered slightly at the faded blue mark on his forearm and closed her eyes as the bile rose in her throat. "Yes," she whispered.

"**They** did not have any respect for life. **They** were willing to dispose of people without a thought. I am not like them. I do not take life in vain. I will only take a life if it is to protect our people, to protect our right to live. Do you understand that, child?"

Rogue forced her eyes open upon his harsh words and found herself face to face with the mutant terrorist. She'd never seen this side of him before, although she knew it was there. This was the man that governments worldwide feared, this was the man that the X-Men battled, this was the man warped by hatred into a horrendous creature. All she could do is slowly nod, making sure not to draw her eyes from him. She had the sudden intense fear that doing so would infuriate him further.

He turned away and spent a minute quietly drinking his coffee, growing slowly calmer. Rogue realized that she was shaking. '_Shit. Shit. What have Ah gotten myself into? Ah'm sitting across from the most dangerous terrorist in the world, how the hell did Ah forget that?_' She tried to calm herself with several quick sips of her mocha.

"I am sorry, Rouge," Magneto said with a calmness that somehow was more terrifying than his fury. "I know that you did not mean to intentionally invoke my ire, and I should not have spoken to you so harshly."

"No problem, sugah," she attempted to sound casual, "Ah understand."

"Do you?" He turned to face her, his expression calmer, yet still a swirl of emotions.

"No, not really," she said honestly. "Ah've seen some bad shit in ma time. Especially through some of the minds that Ah've absorbed. Rape, murder, torture. But nothin' as bad as that," she nodded to his arm, "not that kind of utter an' senseless cruelty."

"And I will do all in my power to ensure that neither you nor any of our kind ever will."

She was strangely grateful, but simply smiled in response.

"I am afraid that this is not going as I had planned," he lamented.

"An' how did ya plan this ta go?"

He gave a weak smile, "I had planned to engage you in a serious but structured debate to convince you of my goals and methods. All I have done is frighten you with my anger, which will no doubt drive you further from me."

Rogue furrowed her brow, "Uh, Erik, why are ya actually telling me how ya plan on winning me over ta your side?"

"As I said previously, I have no intention on recruiting you just to use you as another foot soldier. You are intelligent, candid, brave, and have integrity. I would you want to fight with me, not simply follow orders. As such, I believe trust and honesty would be an important factor in our relationship, and I cannot establish trust without being up-front with you even in these early stages."

"You've really thought this through, haven't ya?"

"Yes. As I do with most decisions in my life, and all decisions involving the cause of mutant rights."

"Good to know," she smirked.

He audibly sighed, "May we start this conversation over? Preferably in a manner where I do not shout at you and you don't quake in fear?"

"Got no problem with that."

"Good. Have you finished the book I gave to you?"

Rogue smiled, "Yeah. Ah really liked it. Thanks for that, Erik."

"And did you learn anything from it?"

"Ah knew it!" She joyously proclaimed.

He was slightly taken aback but quickly recovered and coolly asked "Knew what?"

"That ya had a reason for givin' it ta me, that it wasn't just the goodness of your heart."

"You assume that I have goodness in my heart."

She rolled her eyes, "Okay, what did ya want me ta take away from '1984'?"

"You are a bright girl. You tell me."

She gave out an exasperated sigh, but was silently happy that they were having a normal conversation again. "Well the tradition gripe has been the whole 'Big Brother' thing, but Ah don't think that's it. It's somethin' to be wary of, but it's really so much a big a threat as it is an invasion of our personal space. Then there's the whole dealy with how being in a fascist state messes with your head an' makes it so ya act like they want ya to without even enforcing their rules. That might be it –" she eyed him carefully, "but Ah don't think so. Ah think it can be summed up in one sentence."

"And that sentence would be?"

"Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two makes four."

He gave her a gentle smile, "Why do you think that, out of all the nuances of the novel, is the one that I wished for you to focus upon?"

"Ya've already said that ya think that bein' honest an' candid is important, that ya respect me for it. Ah'm guessing ya think that's the case with society, too. That ya respect those who are honest, scorn those who ain't, an' despise those who would frighten people into speaking lies."

His smile broadened, "You really are a remarkable young lady, Rogue."

She gave him a giant grin, "Ah know."

* * *

**The description of the new potential Carnifex member's powers is taken directly from Wikipedia. So, have you figured out who it is yet?**

**JasmineBella: I'm not sure what it is about mercenaries playing Go Fish that is so bizarre, but I even giggled when writing it. Glad you like the letter idea. I don't think I'll do it every chapter, but I think it could be good every now and again.**

**RRL24: Definitely some foreshadowing in that last chapter. But both Rogue and Gambit have made promises to one another, some of which will be kept, some not.**

**Malice Shaw: Yep, hemlock's a herb. Closely related to fennel and parsley, actually. Glad you got it. Oh, and I found the fanfics – thanks so much!**

**SwampRat91: Glad that you're liking it so far. I'm putting up chapters approximately "whenever I have the time," so it might be slow going, but I'm trying to write a little every day.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: Boy on the Street**

**A/N: Been moody lately, and this chapter reflects that. Fair amount of angst here. Reviews are greatly appreciated.**

* * *

After the intensity of a meeting with Magneto, Rogue decided to walk home from the bookshop café. It would take her a couple of hours, but it was a beautiful Spring day, and after the bitter New York Winter, she wanted to bask in the sun as much as possible.

Her interactions with humans had been minimal in the year and a half she had been with Carnifex. Most humans she spoke to were shopkeepers, baristas, and the like, and few words had been spoken beyond "Will that be all?" and "Thanks." Walking amongst the mass of humanity on the streets of New York only hammered home how isolated she had become. She knew that the sea of faces hid some mutants, ones better adept at integrating themselves with the human world than she was, but she still felt like the people around her were a completely different species. '_Magneto would agree with me on that_,' she thought bitterly, then decided to make sure she never referred to them as such. She refused to give into his way of thinking so easily.

A girl not much older than herself, with her hair dyed a half dozen colors passed by, giggling and holding hands with a handsome, olive skinned boy. The boy grinned back at his girlfriend and Rogue felt her stomach tie up in knots. '_Oh, yeah, that's why Ah don't hang out with humans. They just flaunt what Ah will never have_.' She looked back at the retreating couple, still oblivious to everyone else in the world. Rogue wanted to hate them, but she couldn't find it in herself.

'_They do not mean to inflict harm on you or anyone else,_' Piotr's calming voice echoed, '_They do not know what you suffer. If they did, they would not parade their happiness around you._'

'_Yeah, yeah. But the one thing worse than the fear Ah get 'bout ma powers is the pity. Ah don't want that. Ah don't need that._'

Piotr's voice was silent. Rogue sighed and continued her walk home, forlorn yet energized by the bright sun, fresh air, and flowers curiously peeking their heads out of the soil after a long winter.

Physically and emotionally drained by the time she got home, she hoped to fling herself on the couch and watch some crappy reality show and doze off, but found Avalanche had beaten her to the punch. He was sprawled out on the sofa, still clutching a bottle of wine in his hand, with a little bit of drool coming out of his mouth. She studied her teammate more closely than she would have dared to have done had he been awake. The electrical burns that had almost killed him a few months back had not truly healed. They had become a part of his visage, etched into him, but still painful. She had the feeling that they were no longer all that painful to him physically, but the reminder of his near-death and his scared face was eating away at him. Alcohol had become his respite.

She leaned over and gently shook his shoulder. When he did not stir, she shoved him hard. His eyes flew open.

"What?" His dazed look turned angry. "We under attack or something?"

She looked at him with sad eyes. His breath reeked of stale wine and his words were slightly slurred, whether it was from sleep or drink she did not know. "Ain't there a rule about getting pass-out drunk before five round here, sugah?" She attempted to joke.

He narrowed his eyes, "Would you stop it with that fucking Southern charm thing? You can't pull it off worth shit."

"Yeah, well you're doin' a bang-up job playin' the part of the angry, drunken uncle. If only this was a sit-com an' not a team of mercenaries."

"I do my job fine, and you know it." Rogue noted how his Greek accent was more prominent, a sure sign that he was in an especially bad mood. She ignored that warning, tired of having to placate her alcoholic housemate.

"Ah know that in a pinch you can sober up for a mission an' kick ass with the best of 'em," she said softly, yet firmly, "but Ah don't know how long that will last. No one can sober up at the drop of a hat. What if we **had** been under attack, huh?"

His jaw was clenched and he just stared at her, as though he was attempting to wish her away with his thoughts. Rogue wasn't sure how an intervention was supposed to go, but she figured she was already this far in the conversation without him leaving, '_Maybe he's too drunk ta walk,_' so she'd better have at it.

"Ah lost a lot too, that day," she bit back the memories of the man she had inadvertently killed on that mission, "an' you're stronger than Ah am. So why are ya doin' this ta yourself?"

"Stop," he said coldly, "Just stop. My decisions are my own. Don't try and guilt me into anything, because I don't owe you shit. I don't even fucking like you. So just get the hell away from me."

Rogue heard the anger in his voice, but his words lacked conviction. She looked him in the eye and shook her head.

"Fine," he said through clenched teeth, and quickly got off the sofa and unsteadily stomped off.

She remained there, standing next to the couch, wondering what had possessed her to try and reason with the most unreasonable man she had ever met. He had been right, he didn't like her, she knew it. He had never wanted her to be a part of the team, and unlike Cargill, he had never shown any indication that his mind had been changed on the matter. She didn't particularly like him, either. He was crass, disrespectful, and surly, even at the best of times. But they were part of the same team, that made them family.

'_Family? Where the hell did that come from? Shit, Ah really am thinking of him as ma angry, drunk uncle._'

Slowly wandering upstairs to her bedroom, she wondered why she had picked today of all days to infuriate the two most volatile men she had ever met. She grabbed her laptop and sat on her bed, setting her mind to getting some schoolwork done. Going through her e-mail to make sure that her on-line school hadn't sent her any more assignments, she found an untitled message. She smiled as she noted the sender: prasputin

"Pete," she whispered with a lump in her throat.

She read his message:

_Rogue,_

_How are you doing, my friend? I have missed you greatly. I hope that you are still using this e-mail address that I set up for you with your school. I am the only one with access to the address I am using, so you can write me back here._

_I am relieved that you are continuing your studies. I had feared without my constant pestering that you would give up school work and focus on subjects that your housemates consider to be more valuable. Remember that knowledge and creativity are just as valuable as anything they may teach you. Your powers are a cursing and a blessing, as all of ours are, and gaining knowledge from those whom you have already absorbed is merely small recompense for all that you suffer from your powers. Learn for yourself, but take what help is offered by them._

_I am very happy here at Xavier's. For the first time I feel that I am using my gifts for a greater purpose. I fear what is to come if human and mutants do not find a way to live in harmony. I am grateful for the opportunity to use my strength to thwart those who would start a war between us and them. My new friends believe that the protection of the innocent comes before all else. Is that not nobility at its quintessence?_

_This place is, at its heart, a school. A school for people like us. No one is made to fight, no one is made to believe in Xavier's dream, they are just expected to learn. There are people here who are very good at helping the young control their gifts. I wish you would consider joining me here. You have said that you are where you need to be, but are you only saying that because it was the first place you found where you were accepted? You would be accepted here, you could be happy here._

_I worry about all of you, but especially you and Gambit. You are good people who have been placed in a bad situation. It will turn you bad if you let it. There is another way. There are always options. Perhaps the one I offer is not the right one for you, but I will never stop offering it. You tell me that Gambit seems lost, but do you honestly feel that you are where you are supposed to be?_

_I will stop now. I know that you will follow your heart. It is a good heart, my friend, so listen to it. Hopefully it will lead you to happiness. But if it leads you astray, I will always be here for you. As you say, few things in life are real and true, and our friendship is one of those things. I treasure it, and I treasure you. Give my best to our friends._

_- Piotr Nikolaievitch Rasputin_

She re-read the letter three times, each time churning up different emotions. She was relieved that he was happy, appreciated his love and sympathy, irritated at his insistence that she was choosing the wrong path, sad that he was unable to talk to her in person, and slightly bemused by the length of her Laconic friend's letter. In the end, she was just glad he was her friend. She tucked her laptop away and lay herself out on her bed, eyes closed, taking in the events of the day.

She was wondering if it was too early to go to sleep when she heard a knock on the door that was immediately followed by a lone figure entering her room without an invitation. She opened her eyes but didn't move.

"Chere?"

Rolling her eyes she weakly muttered, "No offense Cajun, but Ah can't deal with another heart-to-heart with another one of the men in ma life today."

Remy mocked hurt feelings, replying "Jus' how many men are dere in yo' life beside me, petite?"

"More than Ah thought there were. But most of them either hate me or want me ta change sides. Ah think you're the only one that's fine with me jus' bein' me."

Remy plopped on the bed next to her. "So de meetin' wit' bucket-head didn't go so well, huh?"

"It went 'bout as well as a meetin' with a single-minded terrorist mastermind can go. It got scary for a second there, but things got smoothed out by the time we were done."

Remy's face hovered over Rogue's, concern clearly in his eyes. "What did he do? Y'ok?"

"Ah told ya. No heart-to-heart's."

Remy's gaze intensified, and she realized she was not going to get out of this conversation. "Fine. Ah was a bit too sassy an' he got angry. But he calmed down. Ah jus' gotta be more careful what Ah say next time."

"Dere shouldn't be a next time."

"But ya know there will be."

Remy looked away. "Don't join him," he said plainly.

"Ah don't intend to," she said firmly.

"'For de time bein'?"

She sighed and sat up. "Ah'm tired of makin' promises. Ah can only tell ya what Ah feel right now. It's the same thing Ah'd tell Magneto or Piotr if they asked me right now. Ah'm where Ah want ta be. An' Ah ain't goin' anywhere until Ah have changed ma mind 'bout that. Ain't havin' anyone else change ma mind for me."

Gambit must have heard the frustration creeping into her voice, because he didn't push the issue further. "Okay, ma cherie. Just know dat Remy here if ya' ever need ta talk. Now get some rest, we have ta meet Dom's potential recruit at 0600 hours, 'member?"

Rogue groaned, "Shit. Forgot about that."

"Not a morning person?" Remy smirked as he walked to the door.

"Ya know Ah ain't."

"Den I'll wake ya with some fresh coffee in de morning," he winked at her as he shut the door behind him.

She couldn't help but smile, '_Even if Ah do have ta get up at four in the morning, at least Ah have something nice ta wake up to. Somethin' nice an' comfortin' an' strong. Remy ain't bad either_.'

* * *

'_Ah swear it was Spring yesterday. How the hell is it so cold now? This don't feel like Spring. It feels like Christmas Day outside Santa's workshop_.' Rogue paced impatiently outside the quiet warehouse in the wee hours of the morning. Cargill and Avalanche stood nearby, doing their best to look nondescript.

"Stop pacing like that, you're making me nervous," Cargill said coolly.

Rogue slowed her pace somewhat, but needed the movement to stay warm. "Shit. It's so cold it's freezing ma balls off," She muttered.

"You don't have balls," commented Avalanche.

"Ya just proved ma point," she replied with a smirk.

Cargill rolled her eyes as her phone softly rang. Quickly answering it, she mumbled "Yeah, ok," then hung up. "Go time."

The three mercenaries walked into warehouse, which was illuminated by a few incandescent lights. From another entrance the three other members of Carnifex strode in, all converging on the single individual that stood virtually motionless amongst the rows of boxes.

The scantily clad blond woman in her mid-20s who had been waiting in the warehouse looked bored. Flipping her hair back to reveal her bare shoulders and barely-there halter top, she gave the mercenaries a quick once over. Her eyes eventually turned to Domino expectantly.

"You couldn't have found a better place to meet?" she quipped.

"Regan," Domino greeted the blond, ignoring her attitude, "thank you for coming."

"Sure. Not like I'd have any other place to be at this time of day. Other than bed. Or a bar."

Rogue found herself already disliking the woman, but she had promised to give her the benefit of the doubt. '_Girl's benefits are about ta be revoked if she don't quit with the bitchy attitude pretty darn quick_.'

"So you want to join our little group," Cargill said spitefully. Apparently she didn't like Regan's attitude any more than Rogue did.

Regan glanced over at Cargill, "Obviously, or I would be here," she huffed.

Cargill's eye twitched with anger.

"An' why would ya want ta join our merry lil' band?" Remy inquired.

Without sparing Remy a glace, she condescendingly stated, "In case you haven't noticed, it's not too easy to be a mutant out there these days. Even more so if one is in, shall we say, an unconventional line of work. There's strength in numbers, and you have numbers."

"You're just interested in saving your hide then?" Avalanche said bitterly.

Apparently that did deserve a glace, because the blond turned her blue eyes to meet Avalanche's dark gaze. "Aren't you?"

"We work as a team," Domino said firmly. "So if you're not willing to take some risks for your teammates, we don't want you."

The blond looked like she was mulling it over, sucking on her deep-red painted lips and fiddling with the pockets of her practically painted-on black leather pants. "And you would do the same for me in turn?" She asked.

"If you are part of the team," Cailban replied.

Regan nodded, then surveyed the group. "Works for me. So am I in?"

"Not yet," Cargill said, unsuccessfully trying to sound calm.

"Ya say you'd be willin' ta back us up, but how ya do in a pinch?"

Regan looked confused.

Rogue quietly interjected, "Ah think what Gambit's trying to say is that some of us have a few reservations 'bout how you'd work with the team. Maybe a practice run might be in order."

Domino gave a quick smirk to Rogue, "I think that may be in order." Domino quickly turned to her fellow mercenaries in turn, and they all gave a brief nod in agreement. All except Cargill, who returned Domino's look with a glare. Domino turned once again to the blond "Is that alright with you, Regan?"

Regan gave a bitter smile, and said with false sweetness, "Oh but Domino, dear. Everyone else gets to use their nifty little code-names. So it's Lady Mastermind," the sweetness faded, "**IF** you don't mind. And what the Hell, a 'trial' it is. Got anything in mind?"

"We have a job set for a week from now, it could use your skills," said Avalanche.

"Fine. But after I prove myself to you on this one, I want my cut. Got it?"

"Anything you say, princess," Cargill spat out.

"Oh, this is goin' ta be fun," Rogue said softly.

* * *

**Not a long chapter, I know, but I've been burdened with three new classes to teach, so I've not found any time to write. Desperately waiting for summer, when my class load will be light and I can update this story regularly.**

**Irisgoddess: Oh, good guess, but no. Honestly, I had forgotten about her. What kind of obsessive X-Men fan am I?**

**Marigab: Yeah, Regan's trouble with a capital T. Felt the need to shake things up.**

**Malice Shaw: I've always seen Regan as more insane than evil. Above all, she's a giant bitch. I'm even interested to see how she'll deal with being on a team. My guess is it will go about as well as when she joined the X-Men for the Supernovas and Primary Infection story arcs.**

**LadyXSidian: I think Magneto has got to be the most interesting and complex villain out there, so I love writing him. And he and Rogue have always had interesting conversations. I think the respect for life is incredibly important, especially in a story focused on Rogue. She may be messed up, but she's no killer. But I can't promise you no deaths in this series. **


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: I'm Not Enough

A/N: Sorry about the wait, everyone. Life was hectic, but it calmed down a bit, and thus a new chapter.

* * *

While Rogue was less than thrilled with Regan, or Lady Mastermind, as she liked to call herself, being admitted to the team, she had to admit that the woman's powers of illusion could help greatly with the upcoming mission. Carnifex had been warned by Mystique that this mission was the most dangerous that she'd even given the group, and the mercs had had a hell of a time planning it out. Rogue hadn't been surprised when the shape-shifter asked them to hit Trask Industries, and do a little industrial sabotage. Surprised? No. Worried? Fuck yeah.

The instillation was producing some sort of machine that Trask was intending to sell to the U.S. military. From the way he had spoken to Mystique, Gambit, and herself at the debutant ball a few months previous, Rogue had little doubt that they were designed to hunt mutants. Gambit had concurred when they all reviewed the mission, casting a shadow over the entire mission, yet simultaneously strengthening their resolve. The mercenaries' line of work rarely allowed them the satisfaction of helping out their fellow mutants, at least not in such a clear way. Yet their determination hadn't helped them in formulating a plan where they would not be in harm's way. Lady Mastermind's illusions would be invaluable in giving them initial access to the site, although a fair amount of Gambit's thieving skill, Cargill's strength, Caliban's agility, and Domino's luck would be needed to get to the sub-basement and destroy the anti-mutant robotic technology that Trask had alluded to. Avalanche and Rogue would be on point to take care of any stray guards.

"Ah hate bein' on point," Rogue had intended it to be a casual comment, but even to her ears it came out as a bratty teenaged whine.

Her teammates in the van ignored her, all of them more preoccupied with triple-checking their gear than mollifying Rogue. Everyone was already in game mode, even Lady Mastermind looked serious and hadn't said anything bitchy in a least ten minutes, which Rogue guessed was a personal best for her.

Rolling up to the outskirts of the facility, just beyond the security cameras, Rogue chocked back a groan. Blueprints were one thing, but seeing the building itself made her realize how mind-bogglingly huge it was. Rogue quickly wished that her faith in God had not died with her exile from human life, for she wished she could prey to someone right now for protection. She glanced around at her fellow mutants and decided to trust her protection to them instead.

Ten minutes later, when the team was half-way to the sub-basement and the alarms began to wail, she decided that her faith had once again been misplaced. Everything seemed to be going wrong. Lady Mastermind's illusion that their vehicle was a routine delivery van, and that the highly paid mutant mercenaries were employees of Trask had worked on the guards at the gate and the front door, but it hadn't worked on the security crew manning the cameras. In the ensuing mêlée, Caliban had sustained a sizable bump to the head and could not be counted on, and the building was even more labyrinthine than it had been on the layouts.

As Domino charged down the hallway, she shouted back "Rogue and Avalanche, remain here. Hold them off."

Rogue and Avalanche did as ordered, halting at the intersection of two corridors, knowing that it was only a matter of seconds until armed guards were about to swarm on their position.

Adrenaline coursing through her veins, Rogue found herself getting increasingly tense with each passing moment. Avalanche at her back, she realized that she was shaking, but she didn't know if it was from fear or anticipation. The seconds ticked by, and as the sound of heavy boots barreling down the hallway echoed in her ears, a strange calm overcame her. '_So this is how Ah'm gonna die_.'

A bullet flew past her, embedding itself into the wall. Before the small contingency of guards could get even a yard further, she felt the building begin the quake. Thrown off balance by Avalanche's attack, the guards ricocheted along the corridor, and the two mutants attacked. Rogue gave a smile when she recognized that despite the animosity between Avalanche and herself, the months they had spent training side-by-side made them a formidable fighting duo. They ducked and weaved in tandem, able to disarm and render unconscious the small unit of guards.

They had no time to celebrate as the sound of further footsteps heralded more encroaching guards, this time from two different directions.

"Take the right corridor," Avalanche barked, Rogue nodded in agreement. She took off down the corridor to the bend in the hallway, hoping to use the element of surprise against her adversaries. Positioning herself against the wall, she listened intently, discerning three guards approaching.

She clotheslined the first man as he came barreling around the turn, using his own speed to help crush his windpipe. '_Painful, not fatal,_' she told herself, crouching as the second guard took a swing at her. From the other end of the hallway she heard a man yelp, but whether it was Avalanche or not, she could not tell. Rogue was ducking the second guard's blows, but it took all of her focus.

The air fizzled and she smelled ozone.

Every nerve in Rogue's body stood on end, every muscle held taught as if by some invisible wire. For a second, she couldn't breathe, couldn't think. Cognizance returned, but her motor functions did not. '_Shit. Third guard. Taser._'

The two guards slammed her against the wall, knocking out what little breath was left in her. The guard who she had spared with managed to get a few sucker punches in before she crumbled to the ground.

Her heart was racing a mile a minute and she was gasping for air. No matter how much she focused, her muscles still refused to cooperate.

"Go help out Franco," she heard one guard tell the other. "Bring him to ops to shake it off. I'll tie up the girl."

Heavy boot steps heralded the departure of two of the guards. Reigning in her heavy breathing just enough to gain a small semblance of control over her body, she stared up at the one remaining man. He was the one who had managed to outfight her handily, a feat she had thought to be beyond most humans. He had deep olive eyes and even deeper olive skin, topped off with a patch of retreating mousy brown hair. He looked to be middle-aged and far too out of shape to have bested her so easily.

He glared down at her with contempt in his eyes. "Aw, did the little wanna be terrorist get hurt by the bad man with the eight megavolt stun gun?" He mocked, his eyes quickly from turning to bemusement to steely cold rage. She wasn't sure if she blinked or was momentarily knocked unconscious, but when Rogue remained her senses again, she realized that the man had kicked her in her face. Her jaw stung, she could taste blood tricking down her throat, and she could sense, more than feel, a gash on the side of her mouth.

He knelt down beside her, grabbing a handful of her hair, forcing her to look at him. He examined her methodically, then said with a voice so calm that it would have sent a shiver down her spine had her nervous system been properly working, "You'll live. More the pity. Should just put you out of your misery, little mutie."

Unable to speak, unable to defend herself, all she could do is stare at him. '_Not like this. Please, not like this. I don't want to die like this_,' was all she could think. But all that she allowed past her emerald green eyes was defiance.

The olive-skin man nodded to himself, obviously coming to some decision. The edge of his mouth quirked a little, as though he was attempting a smile, but was too out of practice to accomplish such a feat. "You won't feel anything," he whispered.

Both of his hands descend upon her small throat. Her already dazed consciousness threatened to abandon her completely as her shallow breathing came to a halt. Tiny black dots floated before her eyes. A familiar pulling sensation and the sounds of screaming were the last things she felt as the dots ate up reality.

"Chere!" Rogue awoke to the familiar accent. The red of Gambit's eyes almost seemed to burn the air around him it was so vibrant.

Quickly surveying the battered girl and the body of the guard, Remy swooped down and gathered Rogue in his arms. "T'ink ya can get your arms round ma neck, petit?"

Rogue nodded and managed to do so easier than she had anticipated. She felt herself being lifted, and faces of her comrades appeared around her. She smiled weakly, but the smile faded as the yelling started. Domino was yelling, guards were yelling, and the myriad of voices in her head were yelling the loudest. She was being moved, she knew it was a good thing, but all she could think about was the noise.

"Stop. Please stop. Too loud."

"Almost out of here, petit," his boots making a defining noise as he trotted through the facility.

'_What did you do to me, you bitch?'_

'_What she does best, destroy lives.'_

"Caliban, to your right."

'_She doesn't mean to . . .'_

'_Mutant whore can't help it_.'

"Avalanche, start her up."

"Get them."

"Too bright, too loud."

"Hush, we're almost out of here."

'_You'll never be out of here.'_

'_Together forever, aren't we?'_

'_You . . . you killed me.'_

"Didn't mean to."

"Are they following us?"

"Not enough of 'them' left to do so."

'_Who is that?'_

'_Who am I?'_

A car passed them going the opposite direction, its lights blaring so bright that Rogue was blinded.

"The guard?"

"Dead," Domino's voice echo amongst the masses.

'_You killed me.'_

'_You were going to kill her.'_

"Didn't mean to."

'_You never do, do you?'_

'_She's death incarnate. How can she help but kill?'_

"Stop. Please stop. Too loud."

The arms around her wrapped tighter.

"She's hyperventilating."

"Give her this."

'_They'll kill you if you get in their way, you know.'_

She felt a pinprick against her skin.

"What are you doing?"

"Need you to relax."

'_You know. . . sleep.'_

'_Become nothing but an echo, forever dreaming.'_

'_Just like us.'_

'_Come to join us, Rogue?_'

* * *

Sorry again for the wait, but I'm already three pages into writing the next chapter, so you won't have to wait forever for that one. Also, I just finished a one-shot you might like called "A Life Well Lived" focusing on Rogue in her old age. Please check it out!

CaptMackenzie: I'm glad you're enjoying my take on these characters. I know, I really should update more; it's easy to forget what's happened so far in this story. But we're heading into the home stretch and I have some time on my hands, so hopefully you won't have to re-read it all over.

JasmineBella: Romy-ness is coming, I promise!

lovely smile: Sorry it took me so long to update, hope you're still hanging with me here.

Anne Marie Masen: Glad you're enjoying my no-so-little story.

MaliceShaw NSI: I promised not to abandon it, and I won't. I just had to take a hiatus. Thanks for sticking with me this long!


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19: My Own Worst Enemy**

* * *

His name is Ivan. Age 47, Operation Desert Storm veteran, lover of strong beer, Thai food, and Frank Sinatra. Scratch that, his name was Ivan. Now he's nothing, loves nothing. He's nothing but a ghost in a girl's mind. A girl that killed him. He plans to be a vengeful ghost. She can feel him even now, screaming, kicking, forcing himself and his fellow absorbed personalities to the forefront of Rogue's mind. They're more than just loud now, they're an ocean, and she's downing. One voice amongst the masses, she barely keeps afloat.

Eyes shut tight, she can hear everything going on around her with deafening clarity. She tries to block it out, in an attempt to suppress the maelstrom within. She can feel herself be moved, fed, even washed, but she pays it no mind. She has to force the voices back, like she has so many times before. But this is different. Ivan will not leave her conscious mind, occasionally snatching control, causing her to jerk and shout. And he's dragged out every unhappy personality to join him. Only Colossus, Officer Kerrigan, and Cody are conspicuously quiet.

'_Ya better not have done anything with them, ya bastard!_' she screams at Ivan. He laughs.

"Lady Mastermind, see what you can do."

Rogue discerns an audible gasp.

"You alright?" Cargill asks without any real concern.

"There ain't shit I can do for her. She's a fucking nutjob. I can't even tell how many personalities are in there, let alone what they're doing to her."

'_What we're doing TO HER?'_

'_Bitch don't care what the girl did TO US.'_

'_Stole us away.'_

'_Killed us.'_

'_I think it's time for a mutiny.'_

'_Ricky! Ah was good to you. Ah sent ya flowers an' all.'_

'_You could have killed me just as you did Ivan.'_

'_No, Ah—'_

'_Time for a jailbreak, bitch_.'

They rage in her mind for endless hours. She shutters as she sobs, glad she could do that without their interference. Her sorrow was the one thing they allowed her to be in full control of.

The noise dimmed. The personalities' voices grew horse, their dominance waning. '_Ah suppose even they need to sleep_.' But Rogue did not sleep, realizing that she only had a few moments where she may be the dominant personality in her own head. Opening her eyes to the far too bright light, she sees clearly for the first time in . . .

"How long has it been?" She whispers.

"Two days," Avalanche says calmly. She stares at him while his face, along with Domino's, comes into focus. They're in her room, both looking sleep deprived and worried.

She laughs aloud, startling both of her teammates. "Since when do you get worried about me?" She isn't sure which of them she's addressing.

"We've all been worried about you, Rogue," Domino responds in her most maternal voice. It makes Rogue laugh again, some of the other voices chuckling along.

Ivan screams something incomprehensible and all laughter stops. She can feel him trying to take control again and she's too tired to resist them.

"The mission?" She asks weakly.

"A success. You should have seen what they were building down there, Rogue." Domino has strange glint in her eye. "Giant robots, looked like humans. If they were sent against the mutant population –"

'_Crap, she's scared._'

"Ya told Mystique."

"Of course."

"An' Magneto?"

The two adults look at each other. "Why would we do that?" Avalanche asks suspiciously.

"He'd want ta know. He could do something 'bout it."

'_Guess you found where your allegiance lies after all, little mutie.'_

'_Be quiet. Ah'm talking here_.' She tries to shove Ivan's personality away with no avail. She can feel the other voices rousing.

Domino ignored Rogue's suggestion. "We'll get you help Rogue. We don't abandon our own."

* * *

Days passed in a blur. Rogue couldn't tell where her thoughts started and the other personalities began. She thought she even started to hear the friendly tones of Piotr again, but she pushed away the idea as just a figment of her imagination.

'_Maybe it's all ma imagination,_' she pondered, feeling a couple of the personalities nod, '_Maybe Ah don't absorb minds at all. Maybe Ah'm just mad._'

'_What a comforting thought that must be for you.'_

The parade of visitors seemed unnervingly long, especially since her comrades only numbered a half dozen. When a cool, steady voice shook her from the screaming in her head, she barely recognized it. "Rogue?"

She shut her eyes and shook her head so her hair hung over her face, hiding her battered visage. "Go away," she growled.

"I need you to listen to me," the voice said patiently.

'_Oh, it's Mystique_,' she realized.

'_Of course it's her, you mutie_ _bitch_,' screamed Roger, her would-be rapist.

'_This another terrorist friend of yours_?' Spat out Ivan.

'_Shut up_,' she begged.

'_Make us_.'

'_Shut up and go away. Now!_'

'_We can't go away. Because you killed us_.'

"GO AWAY!"

"Rogue, I'm just here to help," Mystique said with a strange trace of empathy.

She knew she shouldn't let the shape-shifter see her panic, she knew she had to act brave, but Rogue could no longer find it in herself. She pulled her hair from her face, looking at Mystique, and knowing that her tear-stained, panic-ridden face was in clear view to the terrorist, as well as any of her own mercenary comrades that may have been in the room.

"Ya can't help me, Mystique," she said with almost haunting calm. '_The dead always sound calm, for what could befall them?_' a voice echoed through her head. "No one can help me."

Mystique fixed her unblinking eyes on Rogue. "Rogue, I need you to listen to me. Don't listen to the voices in your head, I need you to just listen to the sound of my voice."

A strange smile drifted over Rogue's lips. "But the voices are me, Mystique."

Out of the corner of her head she noticed Remy, standing there with worry in his brilliant red eyes. He shuttered at her words.

'_Now why would he do that?_'

'_He doesn't understand us._'

'_He doesn't understand anything._'

'_None of them do._'

"No, Rogue, you are not the voices in your head. They are just the echoes of the people you've absorbed. You're your own person," the shape-shifter said with deliberate slowness, attempting to hold Rogue's wandering gaze.

Rogue gave the older woman a kindly smile, "Strange, ain't it? You pretend ta be other people all the time, but Ah actually am other people. So no, ya can't help me. Ya don't know what Ah'm goin' through. Sorry ya won't get whatevah Dom promised ya fo' helpin' me, but ya can't help me. Never could."

She could have sworn she detected concern in Mystique's yellow eyes, but Rogue just laughed it away.

The laugh seemed to strengthen Mystique's resolve, and her gaze turned steely. She seized Rogue's arms and shook her, "I'm not going to let you do this, not going to let you get gobbled up by the minds of those humans."

"You're no longer needed here, Mystique," Rogue whispered, barely recognizing the words that were spilling out of her mouth.

Mystique shook Rogue again, "I'm not leaving."

A cruel smile played upon Rogue's face. "Oh yes. You are." And with that Rogue grabbed Mystique's hands in her own, and thrust them away from her with all her might.

To Rogue's slight surprise, Mystique was thrown straight across the room, and hit the wall with a heavy *thud.* The other mutants in the room stood in shock, but Rogue paid them no heed. "Now Ah really need some sleep. Can ya'll leave me fo' a bit? Thanks."

She noticed that Caliban and Domino had leaned down on either side of the fallen shape-shifter, who was dazed but conscious. They pulled her to her feet and quickly ushered her out of the room while Rogue gracefully got into bed, humming along to the sound that the personalities in her head made, with their symphony of voices. The members of Carnifex had left the room by the time that Rogue had tucked herself up. All but Gambit.

"Remy, sugah?" She asked sweetly.

All color seemed to drain from his face, but she couldn't understand why. He just stood there gaping at her, so she continued. "Can ya turn the light out when ya leave? Thanks."

He just nodded slowly and did as she asked, closing the door behind him. She listened to the ebb and flow of the voices in her head till they fell asleep.

* * *

"Rogue!"

A steely cold voice roused her from her sleep. Opening her eyes, she saw it was night, the light from a small desk lamp the only thing cutting through the darkness. Yet she could see perfectly.

Magneto's imposing form stood before her. She sat up immediately, the personalities in her head whispered, but were forced into silence at the commanding sound of his voice. "You killed a man."

"Nice to see you, too."

His eyes narrowed. She gulped.

'_Shit. Talking to Magneto, not Erik right now_.' The voices were likewise cowering.

"From what I could gather from your comrades, you completely absorbed a guard, causing his death and resulting in your current insanity."

"Ah ain't insane."

'_Sure you aren't._'

"There are voices in your head that are overwhelming your personality. In clinical terms, you are psychotic."

'_Rude much?_'

Behind Magneto there stood the other members of Carnifex, most looking worriedly at Magneto.

'_If they're so worried, why did they call him?'_

'_Maybe they didn't_.'

'_Do not forget,_' came Piotr's voice, '_you still have a traitor in your midst. They might have tipped him off._'

A sudden euphoria overcame Rogue, as this was the first time she was sure that Colossus had spoken to her since all Hell broke loose in her own head. She realized she was smiling and bouncing on the bed only when Magneto raised his voice. "What is the matter with you?"

He looked completely dumbfounded and Rogue found it difficult to reign in her giggles. "Aw, nothin'. Just talking ta Pete."

"And what is he telling you?"

"Just warning me ta watch ma back."

"Good advice," Lady Mastermind whispered off in the corner. No one responded or even glanced her way.

'_Come on, someone has ta have a comeback for that_.'

"Maybe we should get Rogue something to eat," Caliban suggested, "perhaps that will help."

'_He's nice_.'

'_Not like you.'_

"Sure," Domino concurred, "Cargill, could you go down and grab her something?"

'_I'd love some roast beef._'

'_Falafel!'_

'_Mac and cheese, please.'_

Cargill glanced over, then nodded, leaving the room.

'_Cherry Garcia, if you have it_.'

'_Grilled cheese!_'

"Oh, I'd go with that one."

"What one?" Remy asked nervously.

"Roger's suggestion. He might be a perverted rapist, but he knows his comfort food."

They all stared at her, aghast. Rogue rolled her eyes, "Callin' 'em like Ah sees 'em."

"Perhaps," Magneto said in a low tone, "If I could speak to Rogue privately this might go better."

"Let Remy stay," Rogue begged.

'_Codenames,_' Colossus warned.

"Er, uh, Gambit, Ah mean."

Domino nodded and the other members of Carnifex filed out of her room. Magneto crouched down before her about a foot away, so they were at eye level. She felt the bed dip and realized that Remy had sat on the end of the bed.

"Tell me what happened, Rogue."

"Ah think ya've already been told that. That's why you're here, right?"

"More details may help illuminate the situation and reveal a solution."

"Can it wait?"

"Why?"

"Cargill's coming with the food."

"And how do you know that?"

"Uh, Ah can hear her. Duh."

He cocked an eyebrow. '_He almost looks cute when he does that._' Both men remained silent, clearly trying to hear. After almost a minute, Remy shrugged silently, just as the creaky floorboard outside squeaked, heralding Cargill's appearance.

Remy swung open the door and ushered her in.

"How long it take ya ta climb the stairs from de kitchen?" He asked her, grabbing the tray and placing it beside Rogue.

After another sidelong glance, Cargill responded, "I don't know, about a minute or so."

"Soup? That the best ya can do for ya crazy teammate?" Rogue grumbled, the other voices agreeing.

'_I like soup,_' one of the scientists said meekly. He was heckled by the other voices while Rogue giggled. She started sipping her soup nonetheless. Cargill left again, promising to bring more food in a bit, which left Gambit and Magneto to watch Rogue eat in silence.

'_Creepy.'_

'_Magneto always look that intense?'_

'_It's what he does best._'

'_That's not a very useful skill.'_

'_Unless you're a cult leader. This guy a cult leader?'_

'_Sorta.'_

She could feel the personalities getting braver by the second, Ivan silently urging them on.

'_Not much time_,' she realized, setting down her food and locking eyes with Magneto. "Ah can't control them. Before, Ah could kick them ta the back of ma mind, but Ivan's personality is so strong in ma head that he won't leave me alone. An' he's dragging everyone else out with him."

"Who's Ivan, petite?"

"Ya slow or something, Swamp Rat?" She knew she shouldn't be mad at him, but she was frustrated and exhausted, "IVAN. The man Ah killed with ma skin."

"Didn' know his name, is all, chere," he said gently.

'_Ah'm such a bitch.'_

'_Yep.'_

'_No question there.'_

'_That's the least of what you are_.'

"Help," she implored Magneto, then glanced at Remy, "Please."

Magneto sighed, "I cannot."

Rogue furrowed her brow. "Then why are ya here, Erik?" she whispered so just he could hear her. "Ah ain't no good ta ya now."

"You are no good to anyone in your current state."

"Ain't goin' ta join ya just 'cause ya fix me."

His voice dropped, "I shall not be fixing you, dear girl."

"Wha?" She questioned, thunderstruck.

Magneto rose and faced Remy, "Gambit, do you have contact information for your old teammate Colossus?"

Remy eyed him suspiciously, "Yeah. . ."

"I suggest you contact him immediately and inform him of Rogue's condition."

"Piotr can't help me."

Magneto turned again to Rogue, "No, but his mentor can. Although I find fault with his politics, Charles Xavier is the most talented telepath on the planet. Furthermore, he is dedicated to helping all mutants in need. I am sure that if Mr. Rasputin informs him of your plight, he will help you." He fixed her with an unwavering gaze, "It is likely that he is the only one who can do so."

"But," stammered Remy, "de X-Men are yo' enemies. Why you sending her to dem?"

"My reasons are my own."

The two men faced one another, icy steel meeting fire and brimstone.

'_Ain't goin' ta find the answers in his eyes, Remy.'_

'_What are they doing?'_

'_This the part where they start the dance off?'_

'_Shut it, Ricky._'

Remy slowly nodded and turned to Rogue. "T'ink he's right. Xavier probably de best one ta help ya, but de decision is yours."

Rogue gulped. "Will ya come with me?"

A gentle smile slid across his chiseled features, "If ya want me."

"Always."

His grin grew, "Den I got a call ta make."

Gambit strode out the door as Cargill came in, carrying with her a large plate of pasta, smothered in pesto and parmesan.

"Jesus wept," Rogue said, grabbing the plate greedily.

"I'm guessing that's your folksy Southern way of showing approval, huh?"

Shoveling the pasta into her mouth, she tried to thank Cargill, but all that came out was "Thu Wo."

Magneto looked at her with a mix of shock and disgust, and continued to do so even as Domino stomped in.

"The X-Men? You want her to go to the X-Men?"

Magneto slowly turned to the irate mercenary and drolly responded, "No, Domino. I advise her to seek the expertise of the renowned telepath Charles Xavier. I believe Gambit's 'short version,' the one that he doubtlessly gave you, lacked some of the finer details."

Domino looked at Rogue, who was still happily stuffing her face. "Isn't there some other way?"

"If there was an alternative that had a decent chance of success, I would be recommending that instead."

"Fuck," Domino said bluntly.

The three adults stood there in silence, each immersed in their own thoughts as Rogue inhaled her pasta.

'_Bet they don't know how lucky they are just ta have their own thoughts.'_

'_Or have their own body.'_

'_You have your own body, it's pissy McGee over there who don't have a body.'_

'_I had a body. She killed it.'_

'_If you hadn't tried to choke me. . .'_

'_Why didn't you let go?'_

'_Shut up!'_

'_It was a good question_.'

"De said yes," Remy came bounding into the room.

'_Shit, didn't even hear him come up the stairs.'_

'_Should Ah have?'_

'_Don't you always? Or are you as deaf as all these other fuckers?'_

'_Who you calling a fucker?'_

'_You for one, four eyes_.'

"Did you hear dat, chere?" Remy was shaking her slightly with a worried look in his eye.

"Huh, yeah, they'll have me."

"Tonight, chere. We got to step on it. I gotta go pack."

"I'll grab the luggage," Domino said calmly, "Cargill, if you'll grab Rogue's clothes. Most of them are down in the laundry room."

"Uh," Cargill looked around as Gambit and Domino exited, "Sure." She grabbed a couple things out of Rogue's closet.

Rogue couldn't help herself. "Ya give yourself away, Cargill," Rogue said with a smirk. "Lookin' at Mags for confirmation an' all."

Cargill tried to hide her shock under her usual bitter exterior, but the telltale signs were there.

Rogue's smile broadened, "You always liked his politics anywho. Meh. Least ya didn't tell him anything Ah wouldn't have told him myself."

"Go," Magneto ordered Cargill. She quickly left in a near panic.

"And how did you ascertain it was she that was informing me of Carnifex's activities?" Magneto asked.

Rogue giggled. "Ascertain. That's a funny word, don't ya think, Erik?"

"Rogue." The warning in his tone was clear.

"She glanced at ya three times when she was told ta do something. She was checking that ya wanted her ta do it. She's been working for you the whole time. Don't take a genius to see how everything adds up."

"Perhaps, but a fool could not accomplish such a feat. And there is no way you could have seen the expression on her face when you were looking at me, not two feet away."

Rogue shook her heads, trying to clear the murmur of voices.

"Could you always see with such clarity?"

She looked at him questioningly. '_What kind of question was that?_'

"Could you always hear what was going on several floors away?"

Her breath hitched. The voices shared Magneto's suspicion and Rogue's confusion.

"Could you always throw a person across the room with minimal effort?"

'_I could,_' came a lone voice in her head. The others quieted themselves.

Rogue's mouth was agape.

"Ivan," she whispered. "He was a mutant."

* * *

**In case my friend Ivan reads this – sorry. Since I'm putting this installment up so quickly after the last one, I'm going to wait to respond to the comments till next chapter.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20: Deliver Me**

**A/N: Wherein we meet some folks you might have heard of. Go by the name 'X-Men.'**

* * *

"Ah don't know if Ah can do this." Rogue stared at the massive iron gates that surrounded the Xavier Institute.

She felt a hand gently snake around hers; she fought the urge to pull away. "It goin' ta be okay, chere. You see."

'_How does he know that?'_

'_Got the Devil in his eyes, that one.'_

"Not like things can get much worse," she shrugged.

"Piotr promised dat de telepaths will stay outta our heads unless we give dem de go-ahead."

"Ain't worried about them seein' how messed up Ah am. Only need ta be in the same room with me for ten minutes ta figure _that_ out. Just don't want them gettin' any classified info from ma head."

"Naw, chere, de consider demselves de good guys. Good guys don't steal info from guests."

'_But we ain't good guys, are we?'_

'_Nope.'_

'_You're fucking bastards—'_

'_Enough out of you!'_

'_But he's right you know.'_

'_Stop it, all of you!_' Rogue gave out a little squeak of pain as the voices grew louder. Remy spun her around so she was facing him.

"Sorry. Sorry. Ah'll be fine. If ya don't want to go in with me Ah understand."

"Non. Said I'd be here for you, I meant dat." Rogue took a deep breath and looked at Remy, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. Judging by the near-panicked looked in his fiery eyes, the squeeze had not done its job.

"Ya afraid o' what they'll find in your head, Swamp Rat?"

"Don' really care dat much 'bout what strangers t'ink of me." He looked at her dotingly, holding her hand a little tighter. "I jus' don' want you ta t'ink any worse of me."

"Remy," she smiled at him, "Ah can't think any less of ya."

He cocked an eyebrow.

"Yeah, that came out all wrong didn't it, sugah?"

"Remy hopes dat's de case."

She laughed, and a hesitant smile crossed his face. Hand in hand, they walked through the darkness up to the impressive facade of the mansion. The imposing front door opened. Rogue gasped and let go of Remy's hand.

"Pete!" Rogue launched herself at her Russian friend, who was beaming at the two Southern mutants. Catching her in mid-jump, Piotr pulled Rogue into a tight hug.

"I am so glad you made it, my friends," he said jovially, placing Rogue down and extending a hand to Remy. The Cajun took it, but instead of shaking it, pulled Colossus into a quick hug.

"We've missed ya so much," Rogue gushed. "Even Ah have an' Ah got ya in ma head."

Piotr smiled down at her. "I have missed you as well. Now, come. Meet my new comrades. I have explained your problem to Professor Xavier, and he wishes to meet with you." He ushered them into the gleaming marble and mahogany foyer, where three figures waited expectantly. A middle-aged bald man with sparkling blue eyes looked at them both knowingly from a wheelchair. Behind him was a striking woman with caramel skin a pure white hair. Lastly was a blond boy who appeared to be in his late teens. Rogue did a double take before realizing that she had met him before.

'_Shit. That's that kid we rescued from the facility all that time ago._' From the smile on his face, he remembered her, too.

"Hello, I am Professor Charles Xavier," the wheelchair bound man said with perfect diction, "welcome to my home."

"Um, Ah, thanks for seein' me," Rogue said nervously. Remy assessed the assembled mutants coldly, giving them all nods in turn. "Ma name is Rogue, this here is Gambit."

"Bonsoir," Remy said, his voice as icy as his stare.

'_How does a man with red eyes have a cold stare?'_

'_Don't know. But he's doin' it.'_

'_And he does it well,_' one of the female scientists remarked, a little wistfully.

'_Aw, man. They always go for the bad boys, don't they?_'

Colossus came up behind his two former housemates, "I am so glad that my old friends can meet my new friends."

The woman smiled at that and said eloquently, "And we are most happy to have your friends here Colossus." She moved forward and extended her hand to Rogue, which she shook nervously. "My name is Ororo Munroe, but you may call me Storm." She then raised her hand to Remy, which he suavely kissed.

Rogue let out a low growl she hoped no one else would hear.

'_Jeeeealous_,' taunted one of the voices.

'_This is why you should stay away from him._'

"Hi, I'm Bobby." Said the blond boy, "or Iceman, if you'd prefer." He looked at Rogue and smirked, "So, finally took me up on my offer huh?"

The personalities in her head started bristling at that.

'_Hey! Isn't that experiment 3-C?'_

'_Cheeky devil, ain't he?'_

'_They're all devils.'_

'_What offer is he –'_

'—_house of sin—_'

Piotr's booming Russian voice broke through the chatter. "We have much to talk about, and I want to introduce you to many new people. Yet now is not the time." He turned to face Rogue, placing one of his giant hands on her shoulder. "The professor will be able to help you, I am sure of it, my friend. Go with him now." Should could only smile and nod at him.

"Now then, Gambit and Rogue, was it?" Xavier asked rhetorically. "Please come this way." He led the two down a brightly lit hall, into an impressively large office, filled with books, various works of art, and a large mahogany desk with two brown leather chairs sitting opposite. He gestured for them to sit as he nimbly wheeled himself behind the desk.

'_A little grandiose, isn't he?_' Ivan sniped.

'_Personally, I love the color scheme.'_

'_What kind of man notices color schemes?'_

'_. . . fag . . .'_

'_How DARE you use words like that!'_

'_Aw great, not only do Ah have racist pricks in ma head, but homophobic ones as well.'_

'_Mutants aren't a race.'_

'_We're always described as one.'_

'_That's only because people are idiots.'_

'_Like the closet case there.'_

'_I'm not—'_

'_Wait. Baldy is trying to say something.'_

Xavier cleared his throat and spoke in a clear, calm tone that reminded Rogue a little too much of a therapist. "I have been given some basic information about your predicament, as provided by Gambit via Colossus. I am pleased that you agreed to come and see me, Rogue. I presume that Mr. Rasputin was able to convince you to seek my assistance in this matter."

Rogue's eyes widened to saucers. She looked aghast at Remy. '_You didn't tell him?_' she mouthed.

Remy shrugged sheepishly.

'_Well this will go over well, won't it?_' The voices almost seemed to say in unison.

"No, Ah—" she looked to Remy for reassurance. He nodded and put his hand on hers. "Ah didn't know that you were any good with this kind of stuff. Hadn't heard much about ya, ta be honest. Someone else recommended ya."

One eyebrow raised, questioningly.

'_How does he have eyebrows when he's bald?_' Ricky asked.

'_He's not hairless, you idiot. He's just bald on the top of his head.'_

'_Yeah, but eyebrows and hair are like two inches apart. How do you lose all your hair on the top of your head, but not your eyebrows?_'

'_Actually,_' one of the scientists piped up, '_sufferers of_ alopecia universalis _have total body hair loss, whereas common _alopecia_, or baldness—'_

'_Shut the fuck up with the science lecture.'_

'_Yeah! Little mutie girl here is about to get her ass served to her. That should be much more fun.'_

'_Gee. Thanks_.'

"And who recommended me?" Xavier finally asked with a hint of impatience.

"Uh, sorry. The voices." She bit her lip and quietly sighed. "It was Magneto."

Xavier sat back in his chair. "I see."

"It's not like dat," Gambit said defensively. "He didn't send her or anyt'ing. He kind of showed up unannounced an' tried ta help her, but said dat you were her best shot at gettin' her mind toget'er."

Rogue glared at Remy. "Ya'll didn't call him?"

"Non."

'_Bet Cargill did. Wonder if she did it 'cause she was worried about me or 'cause she was under orders.'_

'_Probably the later,_' Piotr's voiced echoed in her head.

"I sense no ill intent from you, Rogue." Xavier eyed her keenly and she suppressed a shutter. "I can tell you are in great distress and there seem to be a great many personas voicing themselves within your own mind."

"Ya reading ma thoughts?" She asked angrily.

Xavier shook his head, "No, merely scanning your general emotions. I promise that while you are a guest in this house, no one will go into your mind without your explicit consent. His blue eyes shifted to Remy, "That goes for both of you."

Rogue swore she heard Remy let out a long held breath.

"From what I gathered from Colossus' report, there was an incident that put you in this state."

"Sorta," Rogue said sheepishly, "Ah mean, since ma skin turned ta poison, the voices have been piling up. But Ah could control it before, shut them up when need be. Now Ah can't. An' now there are these extra mutant abilities Ah supposedly got."

"Extra abilities?" enquired Xavier.

"Ended up with some powers Ah never had before. Practically threw Mystique through a wall."

"You kicked Mystique's ass?" A stocky, hairy, surly-looking man said, walking up from behind them and throwing a file onto the professor's desk. He looked at Xavier, "I like her."

"I have no doubt. Now, if that is all. . ."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll see ya, Chuck," the man stomped out, closing the door behind him.

A laugh bubbled through Rogue, although she didn't know where it came from. She clamped her hands over her mouth to try and suppress it to no avail. Both Gambit and the Professor both gawked at her, seemingly perplexed. When her spontaneous giggle-fit died down, she whispered, "Ah'm sorry," keeping her eyes on the desk.

Xavier continued, ignoring the outburst. "You were able to cope for quite some time with the personas in your mind. Why did they become unmanageable?"

'_Shit. He really ain't reading ma mind, is he?'_

'_Damn do-gooder.'_

'_Tell him. Tell him what you did to me._'

"Uh, Ah can't get inta too much detail, but there was an accident—"

'_Accident? That was no accident you little bitch!'_

'_Like she wanted you in her head.'_

'_What's that supposed to mean, fucker?'_

'_Let her finish!'_

'_Thank you_.'

"Ah got into a fight with this guy called Ivan. He tried to choke me, not knowing about ma powers. Ah passed out, he died." Rogue sped up, trying to ignore both the tears rolling down her cheeks and the vicious names that Ivan was screaming in her head. "Ma power, it takes people's memories, renders them unconscious. Ah didn't know it could kill. Ah guessed it could, given enough contact but Ah –" she choked back her tears and turned to look Xavier in the eye "Ah _swear_, Ah never wanted ta kill anyone, ta hurt anyone." She let out and audible sob and Remy grasped both her hands in his. "But this-s is what Ah am, this is wh-what Ah do. Ah've t-tried ta stop it . . ." She erupted into sobs.

Xavier leaned over his desk, hands held firmly together, a look of heartbreak on his face. "You cannot be blamed for the manner in which your mutant ability manifested, Rogue. All of our mutations can be dangerous if we do not control them, and control is rarely easy. Yours is particularly burdensome, but I would like to lift some of that burden, if you will let me help you."

'_Don't trust him!'_

'_You going to kill me twice, girl?_'

She smiled through her tears and nodded.

'_Puts a whole new twist on the term head- shrinker.'_

'_Why are you doing this?_'

The professor sat upright once again and calmly explained, "I will need to go into your mind so that I may create some order in the chaos." Remy looked like he was about the protest, but Xavier raised a hand and explained, "I will not be doing anything more than confronting the personas in Rogue's head, I will not go into her memories."

'_Maybe it's for the best—'_

'_How can you say that? You want to be silenced?'_

'_It's just this asshole we have to shut up.'_

'_Fuck you.'_

'_Why should we shut him up?'_

'_Oh God. Please. No more_.'

"Relax your mind, Rogue. Let the voices continue and I will do the rest."

'_Get Ivan, please.'_

'_You little mutie bi—_'

'_Who's this?'_

'_What on—_'

Her mind erupted into a maelstrom of screams and shouts, loudest of all was Ivan. She fought to keep her mind open and resist her natural urge to attempt to push them back.

'_You can't do this to me! Isn't it enough that you killed me? Stole my life? You're going to kill my mind too? What right d—_'

Rogue gasped, as Ivan's screams were suddenly cut off and the other voices quieted.

"What in the Sam Hill did you do?"

'_Sam Hill? What kind of hillbilly saying is that?'_

'_Now don't ya'll get on about Southerners again,_' the police officer from Montgomery said sternly.

'_But is it a hill named Sam or a guy named Sam Hill?'_

'_Hey, yeah. And why is his name used like that?'_

"I temporarily locked Ivan away in your subconscious mind." She was vaguely aware that the professor had spoken.

'_You'd think they'd at least use someone famous instead of this Sam Hill guy.'_

'_Like 'What in the Jimi Hendrix'?'_

'_That would _so_ work.'_

'_I'm using that from now on.'_

'_DEAR LORD. SHUT UP._'

"Rogue?" Enquired Prof. X gently.

"Uh, thanks professor. That shut Ivan up. Could ya do the same for the rest of the peanut gallery in ma head?"

Xavier gave a good-natured smile. "I'll see what I can do."

The clock on the wall was Rogue's only indication that it had taken a little over two hours to successfully silence her troubled mind. Now, early in the morning in a luxurious mansion in upstate New York, Rogue found peace in her own mind for the first time in years. Marveling at the blessed quiet, both in her mind and in the beautifully appointed office, all she could do was whisper, "Thank you," to Professor Xavier.

"This fix is only temporary, you understand. To permanently give you control over the personalities you have absorbed, Ivan in particular, we still have a lot of work to do."

"Ah understand. But even this moment of quiet – it's something Ah never thought Ah'd have again."

He smiled kindly at her. She returned the smile, but it fell as a single question remained. "Professor? Ah know it's seems ungrateful of me ta ask, but . . ." She felt too ashamed to continue.

Remy, who had been sitting nervously alongside Rogue for the last few hours, finished asking her question for her. "Is dere anyt'ing you can do fo' her when it comes ta controllin' her powers? She tried everyt'ing." He looked sadly at her, "It killin' her."

Xavier let out a long sigh, "I am afraid I do not know, Gambit. We have to determine what the root cause of her lack of control is. But I will try . . . _tomorrow._" They all gave an exhausted chuckle at that. "Storm will be down in a minute to show you to your rooms."

They smiled gratefully as they both stood and the door behind them opened to reveal a rather tired looking Storm waiting there. Rogue and Remy said their thanks and good-nights to Xavier and turned to leave.

"One last thing," he said, halting them in their tracks. "I welcome you both to stay. Permanently. I do not require that either of you join the X-Men, just join the community that we have built here." Rogue and Gambit exchanged nervous looks. "I don't expect an answer now, but please know that the offer is there, should you choose to accept it."

Remy put on his most charming smile, the one that Rogue secretly hated. "T'anks for de offer, Professor Xavier. We'll t'ink it over."

* * *

**OK guys, that's all this time – I'm off to New Orleans for a week. Please review!**

**A few responses to the reviews from the last two chapters:**

**Anne Marie Masen: I know, I feel horrible for writing Rogue going through so much emotional and physical battering. No worse than she gets in the comics, though.**

**CaptMacKenzie: It seems that every fanfic has Rogue absorbing Carol, I knew that I had to do something different. I know how much everyone hates OCs, but I needed Ivan exactly because we don't know what his story is. Writing Rogue going crazy proved more fun than I thought. I mean, what would a bunch of disembodied voices do with their time?**

**Malice Shaw: Sorry you had to wait a little longer for this one, hon. Thank you so much for your continued support, I'll try and get another chapter up right after I get back from New Orleans. Crazy that I was just complaining to you about the heat out here in Concord and now I'm going one place that is certain to be hotter. Good excuse for sipping on mint juleps all day, though.**

**lovely smile: Glad you like it. For the record, they're just hanging out with the X-Men. We'll have to see if they take up Xavier's offer. [queue the evil laugh]**

**LXS: I think one of the constant problems for Rogue, in any of her incarnations, is that she's often viewed as prospective weapon instead of a person. People always try and manipulate her and use her, so she can't count on too many real friends. Even good guys have ulterior motives, especially when it comes to her. It's one of the tragedies of her situation.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21: Hope Won't Die**

* * *

Storm showed Rogue and Gambit to their rooms in the guest wing. They were given identical, tastefully appointed rooms, connected by a shared bathroom. Rogue threw her backpack in the corner and fell onto her bed, still fully dressed.

Remy sauntered in, "You even goin' ta take off your shoes, dere?"

Rogue mumbled what may have been a "later," and closed her eyes, ignoring Gambit's chuckle as he retreated to his own room.

She marveled at the quiet in her own mind. '_If Ah had the energy, Ah'd weep for joy_.'

The blessed silence lulled her into the best sleep she'd had since she was thirteen.

She woke with a start at the sound of a heavy fist banging on the door. "What?" she croaked out.

"Rogue," came Piotr's cheerful voice, "We have breakfast in a half hour. You will join us, yes?"

Her anger at being woken was overridden by the dawning realization that not only was she in the company of her two best friends, but she had managed to sleep without interruption of the memories and voices of the absorbed personalities. "Um, 'kay," was all she could muster in response, realizing that she had, in fact, fallen asleep with her clothes on, shoes and all.

She dragged herself to the bathroom and locked both doors. '_Not like that'll keep Remy out if he really wants to sneak a peek,_' she blushed at the thought. Her attempts to clean herself were thwarted by her greater need to wake herself up with repeated spays of hot water on her face. Apparently she had hogged the shower too long, since a knock on the bathroom door was followed by a grumpy sounding Remy.

"Ya goin' ta be in dere all day?"

Rogue grumbled, "Bite me, swamp rat."

"Don't tempt me, chere."

"Ya wouldn't dare. Ah'd absorb your Cajun butt."

"Could be worth it."

She rolled her eyes, but finished up quickly. She sat on her bed and picked at her gloves nervously as she waited for Gambit to brush his teeth and wash his face, unsure about how these "X-Men" would treat her. Being left alone with her thoughts for the first time in years had been a blessing while trying to fall asleep, but she had grown accustomed to having other people's opinions in her head. The voices were most vocal when she was under stress, and she found herself strangely missing some of them, especially Piotr.

'_Lordy. When did Ah actually become reliant on the voices? Ah'm such a damn hypocrite. Always goin' on 'bout making ma own decisions, but Ah can't even cope with meeting new people without a small army in ma mind? Damn Ah'm pathetic._'

Remy waltzed in, drying his face, but otherwise dressed and ready to go. He froze when he saw her. "You okay, Rogue?"

She gave him a nervous smile, "Sure."

He cocked and eyebrow.

"Fine. Ah'm nervous 'bout this whole thing an' not havin' the voices is . . . weird."

"Good weird or bad weird?"

"Bit of both."

He flopped down next to her on the bed. "De voices were driving ya _folle_. Ya can't want dem back."

"Ah didn't say Ah wanted them back, Remy. Ah'm just used ta them. Ah feel like . . . Ah've lost something. Some of them have been with me so long, it's like they're a part of me."

'_Sounds even more pathetic when Ah say it out loud_.'

Remy was silent for a long time. "Dat sort of makes sense. We de result of our experiences, non? De voices been part of you a long time, dey become part of you. Just like de friends an' family ya have become part of you."

Rogue smiled and leaned against him, blushing slightly when he wrapped his arm around her. "Thanks fo' understanding."

She lay against him contentedly, now enjoying the silence.

Colossus brought them down to breakfast soon after, introducing them to the few assembled mutants.

". . . and this is Nightcrawler," Piotr gestured to a blue mutant with a long pitched tail.

'_Demon!_' Rogue almost gasped, but managed to give him a thin smile.

"Guten Tag," the blue mutant said in a heavy German accent, smiling at them both before returning to gobble down his Lucky Charms.

". . . and this," Colossus continued, but with a distinctly dreamy overtone, "is Shadowcat."

A petite brunette about the same age as Rogue stopped eating her toast and stood up. "Hey, call me Kitty. Piotr's told me so much about you, I'm so glad you're here!"

Rogue looked at the cheerful girl and then glanced at Piotr, noting the dumbstruck look upon his face.

'_Awwwww. He got himself a girlfriend, didn't he?_'

"Bonjour, chaton," Remy said suavely, grabbing her hand and kissing it. Rogue rolled her eyes. '_Damn Cajun has ta flirt with everythin' in a skirt._'

"Hi, nice ta meet ya Kitty," Rogue said sweetly, wanting to get in good with Pete's girl.

"Hey there," the familiar blond boy came bounding up, ignoring Gambit and focusing on Rogue. "Good to see you again."

Rogue gave a slight smile and murmured, "Hi."

Gambit gave her a confused look and she whispered to him, "Mutant testing facility. 'Member?"

He gave her a subtle nod of understanding, then went back to listening to Kitty, who was talking a mile a minute. A loud growl of Rogue's stomach convinced her to step over to the buffet table. Bobby followed.

"So, you're here to stay?" Bobby said hopefully.

"Uh, Ah'm just here ta clear out ma head."

He scrunched his nose in confusion. "Clear out your head?"

"Yeah," Rogue wondered if Colossus had told anyone _anything_ about her and Remy if no one but Xavier even knew about her powers. "My skin sucks your mind and energy out of your body. Ah get stuck with echoes of people's minds in ma own head. Got kinda cramped in there." She tapped her head.

Bobby laughed at her lame joke, which led Rogue to the conclusion that he really didn't get her at all. "Well, I'm sure the professor can help you out there."

"Already has."

". . . and you're still here, which leads me to my original question. Are you planning to stay, or are you here to taunt us Yankees with your Southern charm?"

Letting out an exasperated sigh, she looked over to Remy for help, but he seemed engrossed in conversation with Piotr and Kitty. She turned back to Bobby and spoke plainly, "Ah don't know what comes next for me. Keepin' ma sanity kinda takes priority. Once Ah got that down, we'll see."

She grabbed a plate of eggs and bacon and kept her eyes down, hoping that it would give the blond boy the hint. It didn't.

"You should, you know," Bobby said, grabbing eggs as well, "Stay here, I mean. Although ensuring your sanity should be somewhere on your to-do list as well."

Running low on patience, she asked, "An' why is that? Why are **you **here, Bobby?" The flirtatious smile that had been plastered on his face throughout the conversation fell. '_Bingo,_' she thought, triumphantly. "Ah know that this place is supposed to be a safe place for mutants, is that why you're here? No other place for you to be safe? Or is it because ya wanted ta play hero?"

'_Ok, that was a low blow. Boy's just tryin' ta be nice. Ah swear, Cargill's bitchiness is rubbin' off on me._'

"That's part of it, I guess." Bobby's voice had lost its playfulness. "It is safe here, and we do good things. And we're a family."

"Ya don't have any other family?" Rogue asked solemnly.

He shrugged. "I still talk to my parents, if that's what you mean. But they're not exactly thrilled I'm a mutant. Mom's okay with it . . . sorta. But dad . . ." Bobby's eyes looked vacantly at and through her. "He's kind of old-fashioned, doesn't want to stick out in any way. Having a son that can turn into ice kinda makes you stick out."

"So they sent ya here?"

"We agreed it was the best for everyone."

Rogue looked at him sadly. "Still better than ma folks. Once they realized Ah was a mutant, Ah was dead to them."

Bobby nodded ruefully and they ate their breakfasts in silence. Once he was finished and Rogue was doing her best to get the stray flecks of food on her plate, he spoke again. "We really are like a family. I think you'd be happy here."

Rogue tried to smile at him, but couldn't muster the strength. "At what price?"

"Huh?"

"Everyone wants somethin' from ya. Is fighting for Xavier's ideas the price for bein' a part of this family?"

He looked incredulously at her. "No, he doesn't make us fight. We want to, we believe in his vision of humans and mutants co-existing in peace."

She shook her head. "Bobby, everyone –EVERYONE – who is willin' ta do that much for ya wants something in return. Xavier might be more kind and subtle about it than most, but he wants you here to fight for him as much as for your own protection."

He huffed, "That's not how it is. There are people who want to help just to help. I'm sorry if you've dealt with people who always want something from you, but we're not like that. I mean, why are you even here if that's the way you think people are?"

"Because," she tried to keep her voice calm, "Ah ran out of options. Don't mean Ah trust Xavier, you, or anyone else."

"Even him?" Bobby gestured to Remy, who had heard the heated argument and was coming over to investigate.

Rogue looked at Gambit as he strode up and contemplated the question.

"You alright, chere?" Remy asked her, but was staring down Bobby.

Rogue looked at Bobby. "He might be the one exception. Haven't quite figured it out yet."

"Ah, Rogue. Gambit," Professor Xavier's clear voice rang through the dining room as he entered and approached them. "I hope that Mr. Rasputin has been taking care of you."

"_Oui_, Xavier. Everyone 'round dis place been plenty nice, _merci_."

"I am glad to hear it. Now then, Rogue, I was hoping you would visit our doctor in residence before we work further on containing your absorbed personalities. I want to be sure there are no physical problems that may dampen our progress."

"'Sides ma poison skin, ya mean?"

He indulged her biting remark with a quick smile. "Yes, beyond that." He gestured to a brown haired man walking up to the table, "Cyclops will show you to Dr. McCoy's office."

She nodded and followed the man with dark ruby shades. He didn't say a word as he showed her down to a sub-basement, although she was sure he was glaring at her behind those glasses.

Rogue was surprised to find that the aforementioned doctor was large, blue, furry, and an incredibly elegant speaker. She wasn't sure if she should be intimidated by him or hug him like the big stuffed animal that he resembled. He took her through a battery of tests, including eye exam, drawing blood, and testing her reflexes, all the while spouting out witty quips clearly meant to put her at ease.

"Oh my stars and garters," Dr. McCoy said, looking over a recently printed out chart.

'_An people say Ah got weird sayings_.' Rogue cleared her throat, making the blue doctor remember that she was still sitting on the examination table.

"Very sorry, I have just never witnessed a mutation such as yours. You say that your vision, hearing, and all other senses were within the normal range before you touched this mutant . . ." he shuffled through his papers, looking for some lost piece of information, " . . . Ivan?"

"As far as Ah know it was normal. Certainly not like it is now. An' before ya ask, same thing with the whole strength thing."

He gave a good natured smile, "Well, unless you could bench press 260 lbs. before, I would say you'd have to be right."

Rogue's mouth hung open momentarily, "THAT'S how much Ah can lift?"

"According to the tests we did, yes."

"Damn."

"I doubt Shakespeare could have put it any more succinctly."

Her eyebrow cocked in confusion. "Ain't he the one who needed a whole sonnet just ta say 'ma girlfriend is hot'?"

"Exactly."

She giggled, hoping that he had in fact meant it as a joke. The mischievous smile on his blue face seemed to confirm it.

"Alright Rogue, I think we are done here. . ."

"Thank God," she muttered. He pretended not to hear her.

". . . I am afraid that I cannot determine if your lack of control over your mutation is physical or psychological in nature, but rest assured that I will continue to investigate the matter."

Rogue cursed inwardly, but gave the doctor a smile and thanked him before jumping down.

"Rogue?" Doctor McCoy asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, doc?"

He gave her a smile that didn't reach his eyes, "I know first-hand how certain physical mutations can be . . . a hindrance to normal social interaction. I just want you to know that while you are our guest here, if you have any questions or would like to discuss anything, my door is open." He gave amore genuine smile to her, then furrowed his brow. "Except when my door isn't open, but then I'm probably working on something potentially hazardous and wouldn't be disposed to conversation." She stifled a chuckle and nodded appreciatively. "Oh," he said, then took an impressive leap to the cupboard and pulling something out, "and since you have been such a good patient . . ."

He held out a bright green lollypop to her.

"Thanks," she said, grabbing the candy, unable to keep the laugh out of her voice.

"Take care, young Rogue," he said with a bit of a bow as she left the lab.

Remy was waiting at the top of the stairs, leaning against the wall and idly shuffling cards. He glanced up when she approached, but didn't stop his fiddling with the deck. "Everyt'ing go alright?"

"Course, sugah. Why wouldn't it?"

"You know how doctors be."

"It's you that's got issues with doctors, not me."

Remy shrugged and pocketed his cards. "Got good reason."

"Ya ever goin' ta tell me that reason?"

"Someday," he said softly.

They wandered up the stairs towards their rooms.

"So dis McCoy a decent doctor, I suppose?"

Rogue laughed. "He wasn't what Ah expected. He was a big furball that recited poetry. Ah swear, he was like a teddy bear who went ta Yale. It's like Teddy Ruxbin got a serious upgrade."

Remy let out a forced laugh.

"Even gave me a lollypop."

Remy halted and looked at her incredulously. "He t'ink you five or somet'ing?"

"Naw, he's just a silly sweet-heart. An' his fur looks cozy."

"Dat what I got ta do ta get wit' you, girl? Grow a fur coat?" A rakish grin lighting up his face as he leaned in, "'Cause Remy don't t'ink he can pull off dat look."

Rogue blushed and smiled back at him, "Ya know Ah like ya just the way ya are, even though you are a thievin' swamp rat."

He smirked even more at that, then opened the door to his room, Rogue following him in.

"Xavier said dat he wanted ta see you at three. Was thinkin' of walkin' round de grounds, get a feel for dis place. Care to join?"

"Why do ya want ta 'get a feel for this place'? Are ya considerin' staying?" She tried to keep the tone conversational, but she could sense panic creeping into her voice.

"Didn' say dat, did I? Just want ta see de place. Our best friend lives here now, non?"

Rogue nodded, but still felt uneasy about Remy's interest in the place. "Mind if Ah take a bit of a rest before we take that walk?'

"Sure, chere. Was t'inkin' 'bout takin' a shower anyway." He gave her a reassuring smile and cupped her cheek with his gloved hand. She momentarily tensed, but soon relaxed and gave into the comfort that the simple touch could give. '_It ain't any touch, it's Remy's touch._' She sighed to herself.

Remy let his hand fall and moved over to the dresser and started to grab some clothing. Rogue took it as her cue to go through the shared bathroom and lie down on her own bed. Even with the voices in head silenced, her mind was swirling. '_Is Remy considering staying? Why shouldn't he? Ah mean, it's an option, ain't it? For both of us. But could Ah ever trust these people? Can they really help me gain control of ma power?_' The thoughts kept her agitated, and while she knew she couldn't answer many of them, at least not yet, there was one lingering question she might be able to get an answer to.

Rogue waited until she heard the shower turn on, then picked up her cell phone.

Dialing with nervous fingers, she wondered why one question haunted her above all others.

"Hello?" A voice answered.

"Hey, it's Rogue."

"How are you, dear girl?" Magneto's voice sounded almost congenial. Almost.

"Ah'm better. Xavier helped a lot. Thanks."

"That is good to hear. Now, what can I do for you?"

"Ah wanted to know somethin'." She bit her lip nervously, "Ah wanted to know why you did it. Why ya sent me here. Ya must have known that it wouldn't help ya sway me ta your side."

There was silence on the other end.

"Erik?"

"I am still here."

"Why did you do it?"

"You think me beyond acts of compassion," he stated with a hint of bitterness.

"No. But Ah think ya have ta have a reason ta feel compassion."

Silence again, but this time she let it go.

"You reminded me of someone."

"Who?"

"Someone I cared for. Someone no longer with us."

She felt her eyes fill with tears.

"Did you love them?"

"Yes."

"Ah'm sorry."

"I am not. Love strengthens us; loss hardens us."

"Like tempering steel."

A light chuckle from his end. "Exactly like that. And I do not believe that your visit with Xavier and his band of idealists will drive you from me forever."

"Think Ah'll call them out on bein' fools?"

"I doubt you would be that direct."

"Too late."

He laughed in earnest. The laugher died down, "I am glad that you are back to being yourself, my dear."

"Thank you. Thank you for helpin' me. An' thanks for seeing something in me that ya once saw in someone ya loved." She sniffed, and immediately wished it had not been audible to Magneto. "Makes me think there's somethin' in me worth loving."

"I believe if you need reassurance of that, you only need to consult Mr. LeBeau. He seems quite devoted to you."

"Like Ah am ta him."

Another silence. "Your loyalty does you credit, but be careful to whom you bestow it."

"Ya sayin' that Remy ain't trustworthy?"

"His two professions are as mercenary and thief. While we are not defined by our professions, in his case I wonder if his work is not defined by his dominate traits. Namely, swiftness and deception."

"Ain't ya heard? There's honor amongst thieves. Mercs, too. At least with us."

"I hope for your sake that is true, Rogue. Now I must go. I wish you a speedy recovery."

"Bye Erik, an' thanks."

Placing down the receiver, Rogue stared at the door to the bathroom, with Remy still showering behind it. '_Can't say Ah know about all thieves or mercenaries. But Ah know him. My trust has never safer than it is with that thief._'

* * *

_**Folle**_** – crazy. Sounds better in French, doesn't it?**

**Strange place to leave it, I know, but this chapter is pretty long already. And just so you guys know, we're almost at the end of this story; Two or three chapters to go.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22: Want to Believe**

* * *

The sound of feet on gravel was the only noticeable sound as Rogue and Gambit strolled through the immaculately kept gardens of the Xavier estate. The summer breeze picked up the scent of roses, perfuming the air. Reflexively, Rogue caught a hold of Remy's hand, and a calm smile graced his face.

"Since the amazing ice cube cornered me, Ah didn't get ta find out if Piotr an' that Kitty girl are dating."

Gambit grinned, "T'ink dat Piotr is smitten wit' de girl, but non, de ain't dating."

"Too bad. Ah can tell how into her he is."

"Oui. But ya know him, never de type to put himself out like dat."

"You'd think that he, of all people, would realize how ya gotta put your heart on the line from time ta time. Otherwise ya never find happiness."

"Talkin' 'bout him or you, Roguey?" He asked with a sly grin.

"Ya sayin' Ah don't take any risks with ma heart?"

"Sayin' ya talk a good game, but don't follow through."

"Pretty sure we're talkin' about you now," she retorted.

He chuckled. "Perhaps dat true. But dey don't call me Gambit because I can't play de odds. Gotta be a good reason ta trust someone, give dem you' heart."

"Such as?"

"Ya got ta know dat's de person always got your back, always dere for you, believes in you – even when you don't."

Rogue smiled, "Huh, Ah wonder who fits that description?"

Remy held her hand tighter as he led her out of the formal gardens and towards the large lawn laid out in front of the mansion. "You my best friend, chere. You know dat you got my trust . . . an' my heart."

She let out a joyful squeak, which he chuckled at. "Same here, Cajun."

They continued their stroll in silent contemplation. Rogue couldn't help but notice that Gambit's eyes kept turning from her to the mansion.

She sighed and he looked at her with concern. "You're considering Xavier's offer, ain't cha?" He turned away at her question.

"Are you?" He asked solemnly.

"Asked you first," she dropped his hand.

He paused and gazed around at the grounds. "Considering it. As a possibility, if not now, for de future." His eyes returned to hers, and she was a bit frightened to see anger in them. "Like you considerin' Magneto's offer."

"That's not fair!" She said defensively.

"What? Can't I be uncertain of where I want ta be? How many times have ya told me dat _you_ always keepin' your options open? An' why is dat psycho even an option, eh?"

"He's my _friend_, Remy!"

"You really fall for dat? Thought you were smart, _fille_."

"What's gotten inta you?" She demanded, baffled by the sudden turn in their conversation.

"I know dat ya called him. Why de hell did ya even want to talk ta him?"

"You were listening in on meh?" She flushed crimson with rage, "Ya had no right –"

"Didn't mean ta hear, but I heard ya crying an' –"

"Ah was _not_ cryin'! He just said somethin' sweet, is all."

Remy looked at her bug-eyed. "Sweet? Magneto? Now I know dat you pullin' my leg."

Rogue crossed her arms and stared daggers at him, "Just 'cause you don't like him don't mean that ya have ta insult him at every turn. If it weren't for him, Ah'd still be a ravin' lunatic. Ah called him ta thank him. If your feelings fo' me mean more than your dislike for him, you'd thank him, too."

He gave a frustrated sigh. "Is dere any way we could erase de last five minutes? We were good till talk of Magneto and de X-Men came into it."

"Fine," she grunted. "But we still gonna talk about this later, Remy LeBeau."

"Both names. She is mad," he said to himself.

Grumbling, she headed back towards the mansion, Remy keeping pace beside her. When they entered the institute, a plethora of mutants were swarming around them, many of them giving Rogue and Gambit sidelong looks. Most of them looked to be teenagers, many holding books and notebooks. There was a young girl with pink hair and colorful insect-like wings talking excitedly to someone who looked more like a she-wolf than a woman. A tall, muscled-bound Native American boy about Rogue's age glanced at her and smiled, then turned back to his friend, a blond boy with a thick Kentucky accent who suddenly zoomed off in a flash of fiery energy.

'_Damn, Ah would actually be the borin' one round here._' The thought comforted Rogue. She glanced at Gambit, and wondered if that was part of what tempted him to stay here.

The two mercenaries both took a seat outside Xavier's office. Remy's leg almost immediately started bouncing with unspent energy.

"Ya don't have ta wait with me, Rem."

"Know dat. Want to, though."

She smiled warmly at him. "Sorry Ah yelled at ya, sugah."

"Don't worry 'bout it none. T'ings are tense right now, we both said t'ings we don't mean."

She nodded. Storm and Cyclops walked out of the office a couple minutes after the clock struck three, the former giving them both warm smiles. As the two X-Men headed down the hall, the professor's voice beckoned Rogue forth.

"Want me ta come wit' ya, chere?"

"Naw. You go an' convince Pete ta take the plunge an' ask Kitty out, Ah'll be okay."

He looked worried, but softly replied, "_D'accord. A bientot_," and walked off.

Rogue found Xavier sitting behind his mahogany desk and sat down in front of him. "So what now, professor? Ya said that the way ya got the voices trapped ain't permanent. How do we make it so it is?"

"Ivan is our first priority, since he is the most powerful persona in your mind."

"Ya got that right. So, what are we gonna do with him?"

Xavier folded his hands together, "You may need his help in the future, most likely when dealing with the abilities that you gained after absorbing him. And should he escape from the mental confinement that we will place him in, you need to be able to reason with him, so that your mind does not become unhinged." Rogue's brow furrowed at the sound of that. "Therefore, I think it is in your best interest to come to some agreement with him."

Rogue's mouth hung open, "Huh?" was all she could manage.

"I shall release the mental block that I constructed last night, so that the two of you may converse. The other personalities in your head will not be able to intrude, and perhaps this will help the two of you come to some agreement."

"Uh . . . no offense professor, but are ya off your rocker? Ah killed this guy. Right after he tried ta kill me. Ah doubt we'll be sittin' down ta tea together any time soon."

The professor gave a knowing smile, "I am aware of that, Rogue. However, I am sure that you have a few things that you would like to clear up with him. I believe that will make his presence in your mind more bearable."

She was skeptical, "Uh, okay. If ya say so . . ."

"Please trust me on this matter."

She nodded and she could feel him fiddling in her mind, Ivan's voice becoming more coherent with every passing second. She closed her eyes to concentrate.

'_. . . in here . . . never again . . . you had no right. Fuck. You try to kill me all over again, that it?'_

'_Ah never wanted ya dead in the first place.'_

'_Got your mutant friends to shut me up. Make you feel good?'_

'_Uh. . . first of all, _you're_ a mutant, too._'

'_I'm not a fucking mutant, okay?'_

'_Like hell ya ain't.'_

'_Just because I'm strong and in good shape –'_

'_Ya ain't in good shape.'_

'_You mean I _wasn't_. I'm dead now thanks to you, bitch.'_

'_I didn't mean to! If ya hadn't tried to strangle me—'_

'_You were attacking the facility! What was I supposed to –'_

'_Ya had already stunned me. Ah was down for the count. Ya were about ta commit murder.'_

'_Keep tellin' yourself that, girly.'_

'_Why were ya even workin' for Trask? He wants ta wipe out mutants like us.'_

'_I told you, I ain't—'_

'_Ah went ta see a doctor, he said that the only way Ah got my powers was from you. You were a mutant, Ivan!'_

He was uncharacteristically silent. There was a slight buzzing at the back of her mind, like he was whispering to himself. When he finally spoke, it was not with his normal, aggressive voice. He sounded almost sheepish, '_No. I couldn't . . . but I . . . I didn't know.'_

'_What do ya mean? It never occurred ta you that a pudgy, middle-aged guy who doesn't work out shouldn't be stronger than a 21-year-old Marine?_'

'_Just figured they were lazy.'_

'_An' what about your hearin' an' vision an' such?'_

'_What about them?'_

Rogue was momentarily stunned. '_Uh. . . they're way better than a normal person's._'

Ivan snorted, '_And how was I supposed to know that? What the fuck did I have to compare it to?'_

'_True that.'_

Yet more silence in her head. Rogue found the lack of Ivan's yelling, despite him being free, incredibly disconcerting.

'_Listen, Ivan,_' she couldn't help feeling pity for the man who tried to kill her, '_Ah don't know what ta tell ya. You were who ya were, mutant or not. It ain't what defined ya. An' Ah know ya don't want ma help–_'

'_What help have you given anyone, _**ever**_?_' The venom was back in his voice, but considerably weaker than it had been.

She knew his words were meant as some sort of self-defense mechanism, but Rogue immediately started to tear up.

"Rogue?" The professor asked, concerned.

She opened her eyes, and saw that he was holding out a box of tissues for her. She grabbed one and dabbed her eyes. "Thanks. Sorry, not done yet." She tried to sound professional, but it was hard with tears not only in her eyes but in her voice.

"Is something wrong?"

"Ivan, he –" she sniffled "he kind of hit on a sore spot."

'_It's only a sore spot because you know I'm right. You can't do anything but hurt people. I might have been a bastard, but at least I helped people once in a while_.'

"Ah really don't know how ta do anything other than hurt an' disappoint people." She said bitterly. '_Especially maself_.'

Prof. Xavier assessed her, and replied, "Few of us are given mutations that can so nothing but help others. Theoretically, I could drive someone mad with my telepathy, make them kill themselves. When I was younger I lived in fear that out of anger I would commit some atrocity. And sometimes the voices I heard in my head were enough to drive me mad."

She was taken slightly aback by his candor and understanding.

"But it does not have to be that way. Not for me, not for you, not for any mutant. There is always some way, either internal or external, for us to reign in those destructive powers. For me, it was practice and restraint. For some like Cyclops, special paraphernalia is necessary." She looked at him with confusion written on her face. He smiled in response. "Like you, he cannot control his mutation, and without the glasses he wears, he would destroy everything in his wake with a powerful optic blast."

"Ah think we got a runner-up for the shitty mutation award. At least the doc gets ta be a teddy bear."

The professor laughed politely. '_Ah shit, meant ta just think that.'_

'_Maybe you did, maybe he's reading your mind.'_

'_Don't need any of your conspiracy theories, Ivan.'_

'_It's not a conspiracy theory. You're just too trusting.'_

She felt like a light bulb went off in her head. '_Will ya help me with that?'_

'_What are you talking about?_' He asked suspiciously.

'_Listen, this ain't a good situation for either of us, but ya drivin' me nuts and getting us locked up in the loony bin is worse. An' if Ah do anything stupid an' get killed, ya die with me.'_

'_Not many people get to die twice.'_ He scoffed.

'_Well, do ya want ta put off that second time a bit and help me – er – __**us**__ out?_'

'_How?'_

'_Ya stay in the back of ma mind and bug the others, but you're free ta pipe up any time Ah'm doing something stupid.'_

'_If I weren't just a disembodied voice, I'd get laryngitis_.'

She rolled her eyes. '_Save the smart ass remarks for your captive audience in ma head. We got a deal?_'

There was silence.

'_I still despise you.'_

'_Ah kno_w,' she thought honestly. '_Not ma own biggest fan either. But I'm guessin' ya ain't thrilled 'bout all the things you've done_.'

She felt him nod. She smiled and whispered, "thank you."

Turing to the patiently waiting professor, she calmly stated, "Ah think we got things worked out."

Two hours later, mentally exhausted, but happy with the day's progress, Rogue left Xavier's office in search for some food. Without a guide, she made several wrong turns in her mission to find the kitchen, and found herself in a large library. She momentarily ogled the rows upon rows of carefully shelved books. '_Feels like that scene from 'Beauty and the Beast.' Almost enough ta make me want ta stay._' She tore herself away from the idea and was about to continue her quest for junk food when the sound of a familiar voice stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Don't know, _homme_," the hushed voice said.

"She will listen to no one else." Piotr's quiet voice replied. Realizing they were somewhere in the back of the library out of sight, she pressed herself against the wall in an attempt not to be seen.

"She listen ta you more den she listen ta me."

Piotr muttered something indistinguishable.

"Non, it's true. You de voice of her conscious. Told me so herself."

"She did not join me when I asked her before."

"Dat's 'cause ya sprung it on her. She felt she was bein' abandoned. Ya know how she is."

In the silence that followed Rogue could hear her own heart-beat, and wondered if her friends could hear it too.

"You want to stay, right comrade?"

Rogue held her breath.

"Not wit'out Rogue."

She bit her lip to keep herself from sobbing out loud.

'_Yo, stupid little mutie girl! I'm allowed to warn you when you're about to do something stupid, right? Well spying on your two best friends right after berating one of them for doing the same to you is REALLY FUCKING STUPID!_'

Bitterly thankful that Ivan's little rant woke her out of her stupor, she silently exited the room to resume looking for food.

'_Shit, he really wants to stay,_' she cursed to herself.

'_But not without me_,' she thought with a wistful smile.

'_What did I get myself into?_' Ivan questioned ruefully.

'_Ah got ta talk to him 'bout this, maybe – whoa. Finally found the kitchen._' Raiding the freezer and getting hesitant smiles from the couple of other mutants present, she decided two things: microwavable lasagna was a gift from God, and that confronting Remy about staying was a conversation for another day.

* * *

_**D'accord. A bientot**_** – Sure. See you later.**

**Drama to come – only one chapter to go. I'm going to try and get it finished soon, before I start teaching a summer session. A few responses before I go:**

**Lovely smile: I hadn't originally intended on having Remy overhear Rogue and Magneto's conversation, but your comment kind of inspired me.**

**Marigab: I actually really like Bobby, but that guy has NO luck with women. And who doesn't love Beast, right? He's the world's coolest doctor (tied with Dr. Nemesis, of course).**

**JasmineBella: I'm glad you're liking the most recent chapters. I think I'm going to eventually do a sequel, plus I'm working on a romy one-shot, so once this story ends, it won't be the last you see from me.**

**Meliroth: I'm happy that you like the story – it's almost done, so you don't have to be in suspense too much longer as to how it ends.**

**Jess: I just got your review as I was finished up writing this chapter, and I actually got all teary-eyed. I'm so glad that you like my work! I tried very hard to make this story more like a real life drama, not a soap opera, and to have Rogue's character, as well as her relationship with Gambit, change and evolve over time. I'm happy that it's appreciated.**


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